Becoming Yourself

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3 Metaphors for Healthy Spirituality (Part 2): My Story

February 20, 2021 / / 2 Comments

I’d like to tell you a story.

In my last post, I gave an introduction to this series, which will focus on three metaphors that I’ve found extremely helpful in my spiritual and personal growth. If you haven’t seen that post, it would help to do a quick read here.

These metaphors can be incredibly powerful tools for nearly everyone, regardless of where you’re at on the spiritual spectrum. I’ll share the first of those next week. For some necessary context, let me give you a bit of my spiritual history and recent struggles.

I was raised in a Christian home and grew up going to church. After a meaningful spiritual experience when I was ten years old, I began taking my personal relationship with God seriously. I attended a fairly relaxed Christian liberal arts college where I studied music performance, then spent twenty-six years as a full-time musical worship leader in various contemporary, evangelical churches. I stopped worship leading several years ago to pursue writing full time.

Over the course of the last seven years, I have gone through a significant and often difficult spiritual journey, during which I questioned many aspects of my faith. My belief in and relationship with God continued to grow during this time, but I began to struggle with a number of the teachings and positions of mainstream evangelical Christianity, including the lack of validity of other faiths, the existence of hell, and the role and interpretation of the Bible. This led me into many years of deep study, thought, and prayer, as well as endless hours of wrestling with these topics in the company of spiritual mentors and close friends.

At my current point in my ever evolving spiritual journey, I no longer call myself an evangelical Christian. This is partly due to the development of my beliefs, but also because that label has been widely adopted by people whose worldview is vastly different than my own. I would not say that I have left the Christian faith, but that I have built a worldview which, as author and teacher Richard Rohr says, “includes and transcends” my former belief system.

What does it mean to include and transcend? As I continue to grow spiritually, I retain some of the basic tenants of Christianity that still ring true for me. These include a belief in the existence of a loving God as the creative force behind the universe, the humanity and divinity of Jesus, and that the best use of my life is to know, love, and follow God. At the same time, I have let go of some tenants that I either no longer believe in or understand in a significantly different light. Some of those I listed above. I liken my transition to setting aside shoes that served me for a time but began to feel too small. I would now call myself a Christ-centered theist who seeks to know and follow Jesus. To me at least, that’s an important distinction.

Some of you who know me from my former church roles may feel confused or even shocked by this. I understand. It’s okay. This evolution in my beliefs is simply the continuation of my life-long spiritual growth arc, the result of many seasons of bare-knuckled soul searching. Though imperfectly, I have walked with God for the last forty-one years. I have no intention of giving up now. I am at peace with where I am at with God and where God is at with me.

The three metaphors I will share in the rest of this series were lifelines for me during that difficult period, when I felt adrift in a stormy spiritual sea. They were candles, lighting my path through a dark and often lonely wilderness of doubt and struggle. My wish and prayer is that these tools will be of value to you on your own journey, whether or not your story resembles mine. I hope you’ll join me next week with an open heart and an open mind as I share the metaphor of The Cosmic Egg. If you do, I sincerely believe you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

3 Metaphors for Healthy Spirituality (Part 1): An Introduction

February 13, 2021 / / 2 Comments

This one’s tricky.

My spirituality is incredibly important to me. I’ve worked steadily at developing it for forty-one years (I mark my start at age ten). It provides a solid foundation for every aspect of my life, and brings me peace, meaning, joy, love, adventure, comfort, guidance, hope, and my deepest sense of identity.

But…

I have readers from across the spiritual spectrum, from those who identify as very spiritual to those who’d say they aren’t spiritual at all. Of those who are spiritual, there is a wide variety of religions and spiritual paths represented. And I respect that. A lot.

So while I love sharing what I’ve learned on my own spiritual journey in hopes that some may find it helpful, I want to tread very lightly. This is simply my experience. Even now, what I believe continues to evolve as I encounter more of life and pursue the Great Spiritual Mystery. (And it is a mystery. If you’re too sure of your answers, that could be a sign that your Spiritual Truth Box is too small.)

My spiritual worldview has been developed over decades. It’s very freeing and helpful to me. But that doesn’t mean it’s right for you. My hope is simply that what I share shines a little light on your own path, whatever that may be. Take what’s useful, and toss the rest.

In this series of posts, I’m going to share three metaphors I learned from author and teacher Richard Rohr that have been extremely helpful to me in recent years – The Cosmic Egg, The Three Boxes, and The Tricycle. They provide simple but powerful frameworks for spiritual and personal growth. Ways to understand and navigate some of life’s most confusing seasons. Methods for getting unstuck on the journey to our best selves.

One of the many things I love about these metaphors is that they work for almost everyone, regardless of where you’re at on the spiritual spectrum. They align with nearly every religion or spiritual perspective, and even with most perspectives that don’t include spirituality at all.

Next week, I’ll tell the story of my own recent spiritual struggles. In the following weeks, I’ll share the three metaphors that helped guide me through that difficult season. I hope you’ll join me on this journey. If you do, I think you’ll discover some very helpful tools along the way, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Need More Joy and Motivation? Celebrate Your Milestones

January 30, 2021 / / 0 Comments

It brought tears to my eyes.

I recently watched my wife Lisa McMann, a New York Times bestselling author of twenty-six books, appear at a virtual launch party to celebrate the publication of the fourteenth and final book in her fantasy series The Unwanteds. The event was a wonderful way for Lisa to say goodbye to the characters and world she created and had lived in for so long. It was fitting that the focus was not only on the work that she’d done, but on the positive impact her efforts have had on so many.

Both verbally and in the chat, fans shared what the series has meant to them over the last decade. Some spoke of being reluctant readers until falling in love with the books. Others shared how they deeply identified with the characters, whose success in fighting through their fictional problems gave the readers the courage to overcome real-life struggles. Some who were only kids when they started reading the series are now in college or married. Yet still they return, excited to read the final chapters of this beloved world that’s meant so much to them and brought them so much joy.

This experience reminded me of the importance of celebrating milestones. For those of us focused on personal development, it’s easy to always be striving toward the next goal, the next change, the next growth edge. But just as important is taking time to acknowledge and celebrate what we accomplish along the way. It gives us a helpful reminder of why we work so hard to become the best version of ourselves, and provides fresh motivation to climb the next hill.

What does that kind of celebration look like? It could be as grand as a trip to Paris or as simple as a few minutes of quiet reflection over a glass of wine. Different milestones call for different celebrations, based on how significant the accomplishment is to you and what you enjoy, regardless of what others may think is fitting.

For our 25th wedding anniversary, Lisa and I spent two weeks in Europe. It was a grand celebration for a grand milestone. When I completed my first novel, Lisa made us reservations at my favorite restaurant. When they asked if we were celebrating a special occasion, she told them I’d completed my book. When we arrived, I found printed across the top of the daily menu, “Congratulations Matt on your book!” I framed it in simple celebration of a personal milestone.

Have you reached any personal development milestones lately? Maybe you completed a thirty-day yoga class or jogged two miles or cut out soda. Maybe you finished a self-help book or completed a series of therapy sessions or repaired a broken relationship. Maybe you finished an online course or launched a new career or started a regular prayer time. Whatever the milestone, big or small, take time to celebrate your accomplishment. If you do, you’ll experience joy and find motivation for your journey, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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