Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Page 57 of 94

The Personal Growth Exercise You’ll LOVE Doing: Fill Your Life With Beauty

January 23, 2021 / / 0 Comments

I was crying over the TV show Britain’s Got Talent. For those who know me that will come as no great surprise. I’m a sentimental sap. But from a pure talent perspective, the performance that turned on the water works was pretty poor. So why was I crying? Why was the audience going wild? Why did one of the normally stoic British judges break down and weep? Take a look for yourself…

Did that strike you the way it has so many others? I think the secret of this performance’s impact lies in this quote:

There are only two things that pierce the human heart. One is beauty. The other is affliction.

SImone Weil

We human beings are emotional creatures. We’re made to feel deeply. But the pressure and drudgery of daily living often flattens our “emotional experience” curves into a relatively narrow range. Bright colors fade to neutrals. Uncontrollable laughter becomes a bemused smile. Deep heartache becomes an ongoing sense of mild disappointment.

As Simone Weil observed, two things that can wrench the emotional limiters from our hearts are beauty and affliction. Affliction tends to come along with enough regularity on its own and, while it does tap into our deeper emotions, not many of us would choose to seek it out. So that leaves us with beauty.

Simply put, we need it. A lot of it. To experience the fullness of life that I believe we are meant for, we need heaps of beauty to compensate for the affliction that life brings our way. It needs to be planned for, worked at, chased after. The enjoyment of beauty must be prioritized, budgeted, and indulged in.

Author John Eldredge notes the uniqueness of beauty:

We need not fear indulging here. The experience of beauty is unique to all the other pleasures in this: there is no possessive quality to it. Just because you love the landscape doesn’t mean you have to acquire the real estate. Simply to behold the flower is enough; there is nothing in me that wants to consume it. Beauty is the closest thing we have to fullness without possessing on this side of eternity. It heralds the Great Restoration. Perhaps that is why it is so healing—beauty is pure gift. It helps us in our letting go.

John eldredge, “The journey of desire: searching for the life you’ve always dreamed of”

I think that’s why I was crying over a mediocre performance by a group of elementary children. Their sense of abandonment was inspiring. Their unbridled joy was contagious. Their teacher’s pride in and commitment to his students was moving. It all touched something deep inside of me that whispered, “This is how life is meant to be.” And in that, it was beautiful.

So how will you experience beauty today? Wander a park, stroll an art gallery, savor a gourmet meal, see a play, listen to music you love, read a great book, watch an artfully made film, have a deep conversation with a friend. Embrace beauty. Drink it in. Open your eyes, mind, and heart to beauty in her many forms. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published in May of 2019.

Want a Better Life (and a Better World)? Choose Your Framing Story Wisely

January 16, 2021 / / 0 Comments

I was talking with a friend about last week’s horrific attack on the United States capitol. We shared how we both felt shocked and ashamed of the actions taken by fellow Americans, by fellow human beings. I don’t think we’re alone in asking, ‘How have we come to this? As a country? As a species?’

I believe part of the answer lies in what “framing story” we listen to, what we tell ourselves about the world, what we choose to believe. The framing story that President Trump is telling is that he is the arbiter of truth and that we should believe his version of reality – that the election was stolen from him – without evidence.

A significant number of my fellow Americans have chosen to adopt his framing story as their way of seeing the world. This can shape not only their beliefs but their actions. The power of a framing story is so great that it has lead some people, probably reasonable in other areas of their lives, to violently storm the U.S. capitol, causing death and destruction in what they believe is a righteous cause.

Lest you think I’m only throwing stones, I realize that my own house is made of glass. There have definitely been times in my life that I have let my own delusions and false perceptions and rationalizations distort my view of reality. It’s a pitfall I must continually fight to avoid.

All of us have a framing story for our lives and the world, one we apply consciously and subconsciously everyday. It shapes our thoughts, feelings, choices, and behaviors. And it has a huge impact not only on the direction and quality of our own lives but on all of humanity. As author and teacher Brian McLaren writes:

“If it [our framing story] tells us that the purpose of life is for individuals or nations to accumulate an abundance of possessions and to experience the maximum amount of pleasure during the maximum number of minutes of our short lives, then we will have little reason to manage our consumption. If our framing story tells us that we are in life-and-death competition with each other . . . then we will have little reason to seek reconciliation and collaboration and nonviolent resolutions to our conflicts. . . .

But if our framing story tells us that we are free and responsible creatures in a creation made by a good, wise, and loving God, and that our Creator wants us to pursue virtue, collaboration, peace, and mutual care for one another and all living creatures, and that our lives can have profound meaning if we align ourselves with God’s wisdom, character, and dreams for us . . . then our society will take a radically different direction, and our world will become a very different place.”

Brian D. McLaren, Everything Must Change: Jesus, Global Crises, and a Revolution of Hope (Thomas Nelson: 2007), 68, 67

Personally, I have chosen the latter story. That God exits. That God is good. That I can know and be known, love and be loved by God. Very imperfectly, I try to live out of that framing story everyday. It has served me well through many seasons for over forty years. That said, I completely understand and respect that my particular framing story is not the preferred choice for many.

So what is your framing story? What lens do you use to look at yourself and the world? Know that you have the power to choose. Choose wisely. Few things will have a greater influence on the quality and direction of your life. When in doubt between differing stories, examine them both closely. Consider them soberly. Weigh your experience. Pursue Truth. If that still leaves you uncertain, chose the more hopeful, the more generous, the more beautiful story. Live out of it as best you can. If you do, you’ll make the world a better place and take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Pursuing Joy with a ‘Focus Word’

January 9, 2021 / / 2 Comments

In my last post, I shared how I found my “focus word” for 2020 (you can read that story here).

This past week, I repeated the process for 2021. Instead of a single clear word, what came to mind as I listened was my recent Enneagram results. Enneagram is a personality profiling tool that’s very helpful in personal growth. I took the test over the holidays and found that I am a “One” type (you can take the free test here). As I continued to listen and reflect, I remembered reading that when Ones are developing in a healthy way, they become more spontaneous and joyful. The word “joyful” stood out to me. It stuck. It felt right. Here’s what I wrote after that listening prayer:

I asked God if She had a new focus word for me for the new year. I didn’t hear anything at first, but then my mind started reflecting on what I’d learned from my Enneagram test results reading I did yesterday. I’m a 1 with a 9 wing. When a 1 is healthy and growing, they move toward being more spontaneous and joyful like a healthy 7. The word joyful stuck out. At first I was skeptical. Joyful? Me? How can you MAKE yourself joyful or focus on being joyful? But something about it feels right. It sounds good. I’d like to be more joyful this year. I’m going to sit with it for a few days and ask for confirmation. Either way, it seems a healthy area of growth.

A recent experience made me feel like I’m on the right track. As I prepared to do my normal morning exercise of walking the stairs in my condo building, I glanced out the window at the large hill down the street. I decided to work on my spontaneity. Before I fell mindlessly into my habit, I told my wife Lisa that I was going to climb the hill. Well aware of my routine nature, she was surprised. I left before I could talk myself out of it.

View of the hill I climbed from our window

When I reached the top of the hill, I left the trail and explored a cave we had noticed from our condo. After descending, I took a different route on my way home and discovered a wonderful secluded walkway with several fountains. A few minutes later, I lingered beneath a huge tree whose canopy filled my vision as I gazed upward. I had forgotten how healing it can be to soak up nature, even right in the middle of the city. When I arrived home, I realized something wonderful – I felt joyful. My intentional spontaneity (which I realize is nearly an oxymoron) led me to joy.

What changes do you want for your life this year? Who would you like to be twelve months from now? Choose a focus word that captures that desire. Make it simple. Make it clear. Make it memorable. Recite it daily. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

« Older posts Newer posts »

Never Miss a Post – Subscribe Here!

© 2024 Becoming Yourself

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑