Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Page 67 of 94

The Life Lesson I Learned from “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” – Have a Point!

In the classic comedy movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Steve Martin delivers this biting line to John Candy: “When you’re telling these little stories, here’s a good idea – have a point!”

That got me thinking about my own life. Does it “have a point”? After a lot of trial and error, I can honestly say that I’ve found one – to know and be known, love and be loved, enjoy and be enjoyed by God. I believe that if I do nothing other than that, my life will have a satisfying “point.”

I completely understand that for some of you my “point” sounds unappealing or even foolish. I respect that. There are certainly many other options. Your “point” could be serving others. Family and friends. Succeeding at your career. Growing your bank account. Traveling the world. Experiencing pleasure.

Those things are all good, and I pursue them regularly. But whenever I’ve made anything other than God “the point” of my life, it eventually left me with a dissatisfaction, a restlessness, an itch I couldn’t scratch. Why is that? Maybe it’s because I was using good things in a way they were never intended, expecting more of them than they were designed to give. The philosopher Augustine put it this way: “You have made us for Yourself, oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” As others have framed it, humans were created with a God-shaped hole in our hearts that only God can fill. That may not describe your experience, but I’ve found it to be true for me.

I’m either a cosmic accident or I’m not. There’s either a universal design or there isn’t. Either God exists or God doesn’t. Neither side of the God debate can be proven conclusively. I believe there are compelling arguments and smart people on both sides. If these are topics you’re interested in, my advice is to familiarize yourself with the rational cases for and against, factor in your personal experience, then decide for yourself. (If you’re looking for a resource, youtube is filled with debates and lectures by the likes of Ravi Zacharias and William Lane Craig on belief in God and Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins representing an atheistic perspective).

Regardless of how you identify spiritually, I think we all wrestle with the same questions. Where does your heart find rest? What is your life’s “point”? Answer well and you’ll find peace, satisfaction, and meaning. And you’ll take a giant step toward Becoming Yourself.

Those Helpless and Isolated Feelings You’re Having? Here’s an Antidote

I’ve been feeling helpless and isolated lately. Helpless to do anything to make a real difference in the face of this overwhelming coronavirus struggle. Isolated not only from family and friends, but from everyone. Even chatting with a stranger sounds novel and inviting. I’m guessing many of you can relate.

In this season, I’ve been asking God to help me know what is mine to do. My wife and I donated to a charity providing help to those impacted by the pandemic, and while that’s incredibly important, it felt somewhat detached and impersonal.

Our balcony

As I sat on the balcony of our apartment for my morning meditation and prayer a few days ago, I noticed a grey mini-van parked across the street. A  man lay asleep in the drivers seat, and every square inch of the vehicle was packed with possessions. It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to deduce he was living in his van.

I felt a variety of emotions – sadness for this man’s situation, frustration at the devastating impact of the virus, guilt over being comfortably nestled in my cozy apartment. Should I do something? What could I do? I wrestled with those questions for awhile, then tried to ignore them. I came back inside but found myself frequently returning to the window. Eventually, he drove away.

Where the van was parked

When I stepped out on the balcony the next morning, I noticed he was back. Apparently, this was his new spot to park overnight and sleep. As I settled in to pray, once again asking God to show me what is mine to do, I felt like God looked at me with one eyebrow raised saying, “Really? Am I being unclear here?”

Abandoning my normal routine, I went inside and baked some bread (don’t be impressed – it was the “remove the plastic and heat in the oven” kind). I filled a bag with the bread, some protein bars, a bag of Nutter Butters, and an envelope with $20 on which I wrote “Hope this helps.” Donning my face mask, I crossed the street and set the bag on the van’s hood while the man slept.

COVID-19 rages mercilessly on, impacting millions around the globe. My meager efforts that morning did nothing for them. I only helped one person. But afterwards, I felt a little less helpless, and somehow, even though I never even spoke to the man, I felt a little less isolated too. Though we remained separated, I felt a sense of connection to him.

This experience reminded me of a story. A boy walking on the beach found thousands of starfish stranded by the retreating tide and slowly dying in the sun. He began picking them up one at a time and throwing them back in the ocean. A man came along and said, “What’s the point? There are thousands of them. What can you possibly do? No one cares.” The boy simply picked up one more starfish and tossed it in the water, saying, “This one cares.”

You can’t solve the global pandemic. You can’t restore the economy, give everyone their jobs back, or feed the world. No one can do everything, but everyone can do something. Find what is yours to do. Not only will it make a difference in someone’s life, you just may feel little less helpless and isolated too. And you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Feeling Stressed? Here’s a Simple Way to Find Some Peace

My recent bout with coronavirus blues reminded me of stressful week I had a few months ago before the pandemic induced lockdown. I had to deal with a complicated tax issue. We got an unexpected $1000 medical bill when a “should have been free” screening was rejected by our insurance. Our credit card number was stolen by someone having a lot of fun in Florida at our expense. We learned of some serious problems with our rental house. Then the wall air conditioning unit in our apartment suddenly gushed water – again.

I’m normally pretty zen about these kinds of problems. Everyone has issues to deal with, and none of those struggles were unique to us. But having them crammed together in one week drove me over my limit, leaving me cursing and frustrated with a dark cloud over my head.

The next day I served lunch at a homeless shelter. I didn’t want to go, but it’s something I’ve committed to working into my routine. As I walked to the shelter, a man ahead of me on the sidewalk suddenly turned and jumped toward me, yelling something I couldn’t understand. At first I felt startled and defensive, but as I walked away, I wondered what kind of struggles he must be facing to act that way.

A few minutes later, I said hello to a disheveled woman who looked lost and forlorn. She said in a quiet voice that she knows I probably don’t care but she’d had a really rough night and was hoping to buy a drink at the 7-11 next door. I normally donate to charitable organizations where it can have the most impact, but I gave her some money, unable to imagine what it’s like to be a woman living alone on the streets.

At the homeless shelter, I spent three hours serving food to hundreds of people who had nowhere else to turn. White, black, brown, seniors, children, women, men. Poverty is no respecter of race, age, or gender.

On my walk home, a young man standing on the sidewalk reached out to fist bump me and asked where I went to college. He said he’d studied at Harvard, Oxford, Brown, and Le Cordon Bleu. During our conversation, he explained that he lived at the house we were standing in front of which was, as best as I could make out, a home for mentally challenged adults.

As I stood on our balcony that evening, I realized how much my negative feelings had changed. None of my problems had gone away, but as I compared them to those of the people I’d encountered that day, they seemed so small. I whispered a prayer for those I’d met and thanked God for my wonderful life.

So when the inevitable struggles come your way, take some time to acknowledge your understandable pain and frustration. But when you’re tempted to linger there, open your eyes and heart to the suffering of others. If you do, you’ll find some peace, and take another step towards Becoming Yourself.

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2024 Becoming Yourself

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑