Developing a Better You

Tag: achieving your dreams (Page 1 of 2)

Want to Live Your Dream? Find Real Life Examples

I’m a routine guy.

I thrive in habits. This can be a real strength, as I’m good at sticking with things like exercise, meditation, and scheduled relational connections. 

But that tendency has a significant drawback—I struggle to think outside the box, see the bigger picture, imagine unique possibilities. Fortunately, my wife Lisa is great at that, a trait that I’ve benefited from significantly in our thirty-three years of marriage.

A fountain at Chapultepec Park in Mexico City

About eight years ago, Lisa pitched an out-of-the-box idea—what if we didn’t have a permanent home base, but lived in short term rentals across the country and around the world? My routine-loving brain almost exploded. That said, we did love travel, and I had almost completed the transition from my music career to full-time writing, so it was at least conceivable.

The more we talked about this idea of becoming digital nomads (a term we were completely ignorant of then), the more intrigued I became. But the thought still terrified me. It was too strange, too outside the norm, too spontaneous for me to seriously consider. 

A ceiling fresco in the National Museum of History in Mexico City

Around that time, we went to dinner with some old friends while visiting Michigan. Clare and Darcy are a few years older than us, close enough in age to have a lot in common, but far enough into the next season of life to have insights we lack. After Clare had a serious health scare, they both retired to live their dream—they built a small, low-maintenance house for a home base, then started living abroad for large chunks of the year in Mexico, Spain, and France. 

At dinner, we peppered them with questions about their new lifestyle. As they shared their experiences, a clearer picture of our nomadic dream began to take shape, one that seemed far less daunting

The rooftop of the National Museum of History in Mexico City

In the following years, Lisa and I continued to brainstorm about the transition to nomadic living. Whenever we could, we met with Clare and Darcy, and gleaned more from their experiences.

In early 2024, we decided we were finally ready. We started the arduous process of selling both our rental houses, our primary residence condo, and most of our possessions. I shared about our plans online, partly to make it harder for me to back out. A friend saw my post and told us about a fantastic nomadic living newsletter on Substack called Brent and Michael Are Going Places, which gave us a bonanza of practical info. 

On July 4, 2024, we drove away from our Phoenix condo for the last time to begin our nomadic journey. We’re now eight months in and loving it. While this lifestyle has its challenges, the benefits of freedom, seeing the world, spending more time with loved ones, and a lower cost of living far outweigh them.

We’re currently exploring Mexico City, and in a full-circle moment, we met up with—who else?—Clare and Darcy. Their living example over the years gave us the vision and inspiration we needed to finally realize our dream.

Me and Lisa (on the right) with Clare and Darcy in Mexico City

What are your dreams? What does your ideal life look like? Find people who are already doing it. Pick their brains, in real life or virtually. Be inspired. Follow their example. If you do, you’ll be one step closer to living your dream, and you’ll take a giant step toward Becoming Yourself.

Realize Your Dream with S.M.A.R.T. Goals (Part 2)

I recently came across this post I originally published April 16, 2022. As January is a time for reflection and goal setting for many of us, I’m sharing it again in hopes that it helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

A goal without a plan is only a dream.

Brian Tracy

In my last post, I told the story of my author dream and the goals I set to help it become a reality.

How can you set effective goals for your dream? Here are some helpful tips I learned from the Book Marketing Simplified podcast on making S.M.A.R.T. goals. A S.M.A.R.T. goal is:

Specific Measurable Achievable Relevant Timely

Specific

Dreams are spacious and often vague. Goals are sharp and clear. Determine thoughtful, reasoned actions that will maximize your efforts and move you in the desired direction. The fact that my four writing goals were focused and sequential helped me stay on course and persevere.

Measurable 

Establish definable metrics so you know if you’ve reached your goal or not. One of my measurable goals was “Complete the rough draft of a full-length book” vs. the indefinable “Do some writing.” I knew I had met this goal when I wrote “The End.”

Achievable

While having a big dream is wonderful, having unrealistic goals is not. Smaller, realistic goals will give you observable progress and keep you motivated. One of my achievable goals was “Get any book deal” vs. “Get a huge advance plus a movie deal.”

Relevant

Make sure each goal is in direct service to your dream. Other good ideas or passions might pop up during this process. Set aside those that lead you off the path. You can revisit them later. I considered music goals while pursing my writing goals, but saying no to them helped me focus.

Timely

If your goals have no end date, you’re far less likely to achieve them. Having a deadline provides motivation. Even if you don’t meet it, a timeline helps you reevaluate and make revisions for the future. For me, this was giving myself twelve months to meet my first income goal.

Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

So which dream are you ready to pursue? What are three S.M.A.R.T. goals you can make right now to help you realize that dream? Make them Specific. Make them Measurable. Make them Achievable. Make them Relevant. Make them Timely. If you do, your dream will be another step closer to reality, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Confident Dreamer or Insecure Screamer? A Trick Question

I just turned in my second novel to my editor.

It’s part of a series of dreams come true—I finished another book. I have an awesome editor. I have a book deal at a major publishing house. My agent recently gave me some great encouragement on how I’m doing at this early stage of my writing career. It all made me feel like a confident dreamer.

Yet there were times during the process of writing this book that I felt terrible. Lost on how to proceed. Feeling like a fraud. Imagining my editor would realize she made a terrible mistake and cancel my contract. Moments when I placed my head in my hands and metaphorically howled at the moon. They were all clear signs of an insecure screamer.

I recently attended a webinar on marketing by an author I admire. Then I saw that another popular and accomplished author I respect was in attendance. The negative thoughts rushed in—I could never be like them, never do what they’ve done. Yet as the session unfolded, I realized I’d already worked on much of what was being shared. It felt reassuring and gave me the sense that I can make it in this new career. I experienced insecurity and confidence in the same hour.

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash

So am I a confident dreamer or an insecure screamer? Clearly, the answer is both. There are times when I’m cruising along belting “Don’t Stop Believing” and other times when my confidence is a pile of wreckage on the side of the road.

I don’t think I’m alone in this dichotomy. The reality is that if we’re pursuing a big enough dream, there will be times we feel insecure. If not, we’re probably playing it too safe, not daring wildly or reaching far enough. On the flip side, if we’re often mired in crippling insecurity, that’s a sign we need to work on our belief in our calling, abilities and self-worth.

So how do you find that balance between being a confident dreamer and an insecure screamer? The first step is to realize that, as author and speaker Andy Stanley puts it, this is not a problem to be solved but a tension to be managed.

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

How do you manage that tension? Regularly reach for your dreams in ways that scare you a bit. Make that call. Have that conversation. Submit that proposal. Go to that seminar. Enter that contest. Take that class. Raise your hand. Say yes.

Balance those insecurity-inducing steps with things that bolster your confidence. Routinely rest and play to restore your perspective. Believe in someone or something bigger than yourself. Spend time with encouraging, life-giving people. Step away from negative, draining relationships. Consume inspiring, motivating content through books, music, podcasts, movies and shows. Embrace your own uniqueness and worth.

Learn to be comfortable living with the tension between being a confident dreamer and an insecure screamer. If you do, you’ll move closer to your most audacious goals, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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