Developing a Better You

Tag: attitude (Page 2 of 2)

One Simple Choice for Joy and Contentment

Choose Your Attitude: BenchI was sitting on a bench at Denison College in Ohio when it happened. I had just finished my run and was waiting to walk my daughter to her play rehearsal when a loud, cheery voice called out, “Good morning! How are you?” Startled, I looked up and saw a groundskeeper in an orange vest, trash stick in hand. He was staring right at me with a big smile on his face. From the articulation of his words and some of his facial features, I realized that he was a person with an intellectual disability. I stumbled out what I hope was an appropriate response and he moved on.

Choose Your Attitude: SmileAs I sat on the bench and reflected on that encounter, I started asking myself some hard questions: Why aren’t I more like that? More unabashedly friendly? Why am I not that happy? If he’s the one with a disability, why is his outlook on life so positive?

Then I wondered what that groundskeeper would think if he could see inside my head. Maybe he would look at me with pity because he’d recognize how stressed I was, how I worried about the future and what other people thought of me. Maybe he would see that my perspective was bent or pick up on how slow I am to see the beauty in the small things around me. Maybe he would feel sorry for me and keep trying to brighten my day.

Choose Your Attitude: UmbrellaIn that moment, I was reminded of how big an impact the attitude I choose has on my happiness. The way I decide to look at life, regardless of my circumstances, will largely determine my enjoyment of it. I’ve seen it clearly in others – some people with health, wealth, friends, and family who are stressed and bitter while others dealing with illness, poverty, and loss shine with joy and hope.

Choose Your Attitude: Choose GoodI’m not advocating denying our pain and struggles. Some of us face incredible hardships or are in a season of spirit-crushing trials. Neither “put on a happy face” or “don’t worry, be happy” is a magic elixir for contentment. But, no matter what our circumstances, we do have the ability to chose our attitude. The power to see our difficulties as insurmountable joy-killers or real opportunities for personal growth is ours to wield.

Choose Your Attitude: HopeWe all have challenges in life that threaten our experience of joy, things that will either make us bitter or make us better. The attitude we choose to take toward these challenges will greatly determine if we feel stressed and defeated or peaceful and hopeful. Choose well today. Be grateful. Notice beauty. Show kindness. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Pokemon, a Blown Tire, and Bacon

It came out of nowhere. My wife and I were driving back from playing PokemonGo in a nearby park (yes, we’re still playing – it keeps us walking). A loud flapping sound started coming from the rear of the car. I pulled over and a quick check revealed the cause: a completely blown tire. We were close to home so I nursed the wounded SUV into our driveway.

With a sigh, I started unpacking the jack and spare tire, thinking of how my plans for the morning were now toast. By the time I changed the tire, cleaned up and went to the repair shop, the morning would be shot. I was frustrated and disappointed.

That’s when it hit me. I had a choice. Not a choice about having a blown tire. Not a choice about how I was going to spend my morning. I had a choice about how I was going to feel about it.

So I paused. Took a breath. Then I chose to feel grateful instead of frustrated. How? By thinking about the positives in the situation. We had a full blowout and no one got hurt. It happened on a side road vs. the highway. We were close to home so I was able to do the work in my own driveway. All things considered, this could have been a lot worse.

After my mental reset, I began the chore with a much better attitude, thinking of myself as fortunate instead of a victim of road hazard fate. While it didn’t make changing the tire fun, it made the experience a whole lot less painful.

As I was finishing, a good friend walked up. She had been stopping by just to drop something off (it was bacon – yep, she’s that kind of awesome). Since I was already out in the driveway, we got to talking and had an amazing conversation. She shared some pretty big life questions that she was wrestling with. I offered some things that I had learned in my struggles with those same questions. It seemed to really help her process. The discussion was very meaningful to me and our friendship is stronger for it.

Later, as I was reflecting on the morning’s events, I began thinking about everything that led to that beautiful conversation. Had we not blown the tire, I wouldn’t have been in the driveway and that deeper talk probably wouldn’t have happened. If I hadn’t decided to choose gratitude over frustration, I doubt I’d have been in the right head space to share anything helpful or hopeful with my friend. Something really good would have been missed, and I would have spent my morning feeling discouraged (and perhaps not Triple B’d – Blessed By Bacon).

You’re going to face blow outs in life. We all do. When they come, remember that you have the power to choose your attitude. And your attitude has a HUGE impact on how you feel. We can’t choose much of what happens to us but we can choose how we respond to it. Choose well and you’ll take another big step toward Becoming Yourself.

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