Life is often a struggle. That point was brought home to me this week in conversations with friends—one lost her house in the raging LA fires. Another is planning a hurried wedding for their daughter before her fiancee’s parent passes from an unexpected terminal illness. A third shared how exhausted she is caring for an aging parent who’s refusing to address their health needs.
It reminded me of a post I originally published on March 16, 2024, so I decided to share it again. If you’re in a similar season, I hope this provides a ray of hope and helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
I’m so tired.
My wife Lisa and I are at the tail end of a lengthy book tour. While I’m incredibly grateful for the exciting and rewarding opportunity, it’s been demanding and exhausting. We both got sick with lingering ear and sinus infections as we plowed through a seemingly endless stream of school visits, bookstore events, and flights around the country. In the midst of it all, my elderly mom had a serious health crisis which led to a week in ICU, and she’s facing a long and difficult recovery.
It’s one of those seasons. No amount of money, planning, or preparation can avoid them. Rain falls on us all from time to time. The only control we have is how we choose to respond to the storm.
I’m a glass-half-full person. I try to have a positive outlook, to see the cloud’s silver lining. That perspective provides energy and hope to move forward, and helps me avoid wallowing in destructive negativity.
But it can also lead me to slap a smiley-face bandage on a gunshot wound. I sometimes refuse to acknowledge real pain, subconsciously burying it deep to avoid facing the unanswerable questions suffering brings—why did this happen? What good can come of it? What’s the point of it all?
I’m trying to find my balance in this storm. To allow myself to recognize the biting flies and feel my aching feet as I trudge through this dark valley, while still lifting my eyes to the distant, beautiful mountain I’m heading toward. It’s not an easy task. But with time, rest, prayer, and the support of my inner circle, I’m finding my way.
If you’re in a winter season, acknowledge the frost and stinging cold. The treacherous footing. The difficult climb up the snow covered slope. But remember that however long the night, the sun will rise. Spring is coming. You’ll feel the warm breeze caress your face and breathe the delicate scent of flowers again. You are not alone on the road, and every struggling footfall brings you one step closer to Becoming Yourself.
There’s a bizarre character in the M. Night Shyamalan movie Lady in the Water. He’s a bodybuilder who only works out one half of his body. As you would suspect, he looks like a young Arnold Schwarzenegger on one side and Pee-wee Herman on the other.
I think a foundational building block of personal development is balance. I’m not saying that every area of my life is of equal importance. For example, I’d rather be emotionally healthy with average intelligence than a depressed genius. That said, I believe working on myself as a whole will yield more satisfying results than a hit or miss approach.
5. Spiritual health – prayer, silence and solitude, 
When I’m feeling depressed, grumpy, stressed or generally out of whack, I try to step back and do a quick mental review of these areas. It’s usually pretty easy to see which ones are out of balance and need a little TLC. Having this checklist not only helps me find a way out of my funk, it gives me a gauge to measure my progress on my personal development goals. It helps me become a better version of myself.