Developing a Better You

Tag: balance

Trudging Through a Winter Season

I’m so tired. 

My wife Lisa and I are at the tail end of a lengthy book tour. While I’m incredibly grateful for the exciting and rewarding opportunity, it’s been demanding and exhausting. We both got sick with lingering ear and sinus infections as we plowed through a seemingly endless stream of school visits, bookstore events, and flights around the country. In the midst of it all, my elderly mom had a serious health crisis which led to a week in ICU, and she’s facing a long and difficult recovery. 

It’s one of those seasons. No amount of money, planning, or preparation can avoid them. Rain falls on us all from time to time. The only control we have is how we choose to respond to the storm. 

I’m a glass-half-full person. I try to have a positive outlook, to see the cloud’s silver lining. That perspective provides energy and hope to move forward, and helps me avoid wallowing in destructive negativity. 

But it can also lead me to slap a smiley-face bandage on a gunshot wound. I sometimes refuse to acknowledge real pain, subconsciously burying it deep to avoid facing the unanswerable questions suffering brings—why did this happen? What good can come of it? What’s the point of it all?

I’m trying to find my balance in this storm. To allow myself to recognize the biting flies and feel my aching feet as I trudge through this dark valley, while still lifting my eyes to the distant, beautiful mountain I’m heading toward. It’s not an easy task. But with time, rest, prayer, and the support of my inner circle, I’m finding my way.

If you’re in a winter season, acknowledge the frost and stinging cold. The treacherous footing. The difficult climb up the snow covered slope. But remember that however long the night, the sun will rise. Spring is coming. You’ll feel the warm breeze caress your face and breathe the delicate scent of flowers again. You are not alone on the road, and every struggling footfall brings you one step closer to Becoming Yourself.

How’s Your Balance? Check Your Top 5 Areas of Personal Growth

There’s a bizarre character in the M. Night Shyamalan movie Lady in the Water. He’s a bodybuilder who only works out one half of his body. As you would suspect, he looks like a young Arnold Schwarzenegger on one side and Pee-wee Herman on the other.

I rightly laugh at that ridiculous picture, but how often have I taken the same approach in my own personal development routine? I may work hard to expand my mind but ignore my body. Or be in peak physical shape but neglect the health of my soul.

I think a foundational building block of personal development is balance. I’m not saying that every area of my life is of equal importance. For example, I’d rather be emotionally healthy with average intelligence than a depressed genius. That said, I believe working on myself as a whole will yield more satisfying results than a hit or miss approach.

So what are the areas of my life that I should be paying attention to? The answer to that question may vary depending on the person, but here are the top 5 areas that I monitor in my own life (in no particular order):

1. Physical health – eating right, regular exercise, getting enough sleep (for more see my Temple Health post here)

2. Mental health – playing brain games at lumosity.com, reading challenging material, thinking critically on important issues

3. Emotional health – watching movies, playing music, expressing creativity, taking a weekly Sabbath

4. Relational health – time with family and friends, meeting new people

5. Spiritual health – prayer, silence and solitude, time in nature, appreciating beauty

There are also what I call “second tier” areas that, while not as important as my top 5, still merit attention:

1. Financial health – giving to causes I believe in, saving for the short term & retirement, staying out of debt, enjoyment spending

2. Occupational health – having a meaningful career that I enjoy, having an appropriate work / life balance

3. Organizational health – effective time management, a balanced & sustainable schedule, a decluttered home

When I’m feeling depressed, grumpy, stressed or generally out of whack, I try to step back and do a quick mental review of these areas. It’s usually pretty easy to see which ones are out of balance and need a little TLC. Having this checklist not only helps me find a way out of my funk, it gives me a gauge to measure my progress on my personal development goals. It helps me become a better version of myself.

How about you? Which of these areas are feeling out of balance in your life? Choose one simple thing you can do in those specific areas to give them some attention. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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