Developing a Better You

Tag: beauty (Page 1 of 2)

The Intersection of Beauty and Despair

It was a captivating sight. 

Our cruise ship slowly glided beneath Golden Gate Bridge on approach to San Francisco. I stood on our cabin balcony taking in magnificence of it. The massive size. The soaring architecture. The marvel of engineering. 

Then I saw them. Wide nets ran the length of the bridge on both sides. I was confused for a moment before it hit me—they were to catch people attempting to jump from the bridge and end their lives. 

The juxtaposition was jarring. A stirring monument boasting a concession to grim reality. An intersection of beauty and despair.

The nets on the Golden Gate Bridge serve as an apt symbol of life. How often in my own experience have beauty and despair met? The passing of my mother. My grown kids leaving home. Ending a much-loved career. Saying goodbye to a dear friend. Some of my most poignant moments were a melding of the bitter and the sweet.

I tend to avoid those intersections when I can. The starkness of the contrast makes me uncomfortable. But when they inevitably come, I’ve learned to lean in. Embrace the contradiction. The intensity. The whirl of emotions. Because it’s in this crucible that personal growth flourishes. The false fronts I’ve fashioned around my True Self are stripped away. The process is like its catalyst, both healing and painful.

When you come to the intersection of beauty and despair in your life, stand fast. Meet the moment with head high and heart open. Hold the opposing forces close. Embrace the lessons these liminal spaces have to give. If you do, you’ll know a deeper life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Appealing Beauty of Your Imperfections

I heard my friend curse. 

Years ago, we’d hired him to install hardwood flooring in our new sun room. He’d missed the nail and left a small hammer mark in the expensive wood. My wife and I assured him that it was fine. We actually like a few dings because it gives the floor character and shows that it’s real. 

I’m working on adopting that perspective for myself. My instinct is to present a faultless, unblemished version of myself to everyone. But that’s not a true picture. It’s not reality. Letting my blemishes and imperfections show makes me more alive, more relatable, more real. The posts where I admit my failings and mistakes regularly get more engagement than my success stories.

It makes sense. With so much fake, filtered, and curated content online, there’s a real hunger for the real, the raw, the unvarnished. We respond to it on a visceral level because we know that’s our personal reality. We’re all lovable, beautiful, and worthy, but we’re also scarred, imperfect creatures with growth edges. Like draws like. Deep calls to deep. Truth satisfies in a way the manufactured never can.

As you consider what to share online and with those around you, drop your guard a little. Open up. Be vulnerable. Be real. Let your cracks show, because, as the saying goes, that’s where your light shines through. If you do, you’ll help create a more honest and meaningful world, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Wonderful Superfluousness of Beauty

It was completely superfluous.

During the recent Spring Arts Festival that took over Tempe, Arizona where I live, the city hired an artist to paint a giant sunflower on the circle drive in front of my office building.

Between the cleaning, prep work, and painting, it shut down the little street for six days. Deliveries were halted. It was highly inconvenient. And who knows how much money it cost the city to pay workers to prep the space, buy the paint, and hire the artist.

As I watched the work progress directly below my office window, I was reminded of a quote:

It is the useless things that make life worth living and that make life dangerous too: wine, love, art, beauty. Without them life is safe, but not worth bothering with.

stephen fry

There is a superfluous nature to beauty. It’s not like food, water, oxygen, or shelter. We don’t need it to exist. But is the goal of human life mere existence? Just piling up as many days as possible before succumbing to the inevitability of death? I think not. I’d rather live a short abundant life than a long bleak one. I’m guessing you would too.

So I say bravo to the city of Tempe. I wholeheartedly support the use of my tax dollars on “superfluous” beauty. Thank you for making my life a little brighter, a little more colorful, and for bringing a smile to my face each time I glance out the window.   

What “superfluous” beauty can you enjoy today? Take a walk in a park. Stroll an art gallery. Stream a YouTube nature video on your TV. Set out fresh flowers. Frame a picture you love. Surround yourself with beauty. If you do, you’ll breathe more life into living, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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