Developing a Better You

Tag: best life

Want to Achieve Your Dreams? Just Keep Showing Up

The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

thomas edison

Since childhood, I’ve dreamed of becoming a published author.

Growing up, I read voraciously and enjoyed creative writing. I thought how amazing it would be if someday other people enjoyed my stories the way I loved those penned by the authors I idolized. But in high school, I decided to pursue music. Three years ago, I left a twenty-six year career as a profession musician to chase my long-delayed writing dream.

Things started off surprisingly well. Having my wife Lisa McMann, a highly successful NY Times bestselling author, as my writing coach gave me a huge leg up. The first book I wrote, which I thought would be a throw-away practice novel, landed me a great literary agent. After he helped me improve the manuscript, the first editor he pitched it to liked it. After I did a revised draft for her, she took it to her team to build support. I was amazed. This was going to happen!

And then it didn’t. Her team had mixed feelings about my book, and she passed on it. While disappointed, I was still optimistic. If it got that close on the first try, surely my book would quickly sell to someone else, right? Wrong. All the editors in the next round said no. Then all the editors in in the round after that. A year later, I had a list of rejections as long as my arm.

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

harriet beecher stowe

Following my wife’s advice, I had continued writing during that submission period and had finished my second novel. My agent thought my writing had improved, so he stopped pitching my first book and began sending out my second. Again, nothing but a steady stream of rejections came my way. I struggled to maintain any hope as I regularly read the announcements of book deals for other authors. How would my writing ever stand out? How could I ever break through? The odds seemed insurmountable.

Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.

Winston Churchill

My published author friends were incredibly encouraging. Kevin Sands shared that his first three books did nothing before his hugely popular Blackthorn Key series. He told me, “Perseverance, more than anything, is what wins the day.” Anna-Marie McLemore told me that their first seven books didn’t sell. But they kept going, kept pursuing their dream. Time magazine recently named their book Blanca and Roja among the top 100 fantasy novels of all time and When the Moon Was Ours as one of the the world’s most influential young adult novels.

You just can’t beat the person who won’t give up.

babe ruth

So I kept going. Kept watching author craft videos. Kept learning. Kept writing. Kept editing. I wrote a third novel, then a fourth, which was my agent’s favorite. He paused sending out my second book and submitted my fourth to an editor.

A few weeks later, it happened. I got the call. I had an offer. Now I have my first book deal with Penguin Random House Publishers (that’s all I able to share publicly at this point; I’ll post more details when I can). I’m going to be a published author!

It always seems impossible until it’s done.

nelson mandela

So what’s your dream? Is it a career change, mastering a new skill, or going on an adventure in an exotic destination? Have you been told it’s impossible? That you’re not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough? Is it a passing fancy or a deep, long-lasting desire? How brightly does your passion burn? Map a course. Take the first step. Build a habit. When you fall, get up. Start again. Focus on your goal. Your dream may be just around the corner. The outcome is not guaranteed, but what in life is? Fortune favors those who keep showing up. At worst, you’ll live a life in pursuit of your dream. At best, it will come true. Either way, you’ll take giant leaps toward Becoming Yourself.

Want Your Best Life? Have the Courage to Look Within

The things that trouble our spirits are within us already. In meditation, we must face them, accept them, and set them aside one by one.

Christopher L. Bennett

This quote nails one of the reasons I sometimes avoid meditation—I’m afraid of what I might find. When I set aside all my distractions, quiet my mind, and look at myself honestly, who knows what may arise from the depths? I often have a suspicion when there are things inside me that I don’t want to face. False ego props, things I’ve done wrong, people I’ve hurt, beliefs I stubbornly cling too that I know won’t hold up to real scrutiny. Like a warning light on a dashboard or a lingering physical pain, I’m tempted to just ignore it and hope it goes away.

A friend recently told me about his meditation technique for deeper self-awareness. He revealed some of the frightening things he’s encountered within himself, things that he now knows he has to face. We all have those inner demons, monsters within us that we need to slay in order to become who we truly desire to be.

One of my favorite fantasy novels is The Sword of Shannara by Terry Brooks. At the end of the story, the hero discovers the magical power of the titular blade is that it forces the wielder to face the truth about themselves. All their lies, delusions, rationalizations, and self-deception are stripped away. The naked truth destroys those who are not strong enough to face it. That’s what meditation can do—force us to face our true selves. To look deeply inside ourselves is to willingly grasp the sword, knowing the trial to come.

So why would we do this? Why put ourselves through that kind of struggle? Simply this:

Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear. 

George addair

The truth of that quote both haunts and emboldens me. I know what I want, but I’m often afraid of what it takes to get it. When I’m aligned with my better angels, I gather my support network, summon my courage, and face my fears. Invariably, even if I initially fail, I move closer to my best self and my dream life in the process.

So what is it that you truly desire? Who do you want to become? What’s keeping you from your dreams? Are you willing to grasp the Sword? Focus on your goal. Go somewhere quiet. Close your eyes, breathe deep, and still your mind. Invite God or the Universe or Creation or your Inner Self or whatever you believe in to reveal what they will. Ask them to shine a light on the path to your True Self and for courage to face the real you. Acknowledge whatever arises. Process it with trusted friends and / or a good therapist. Take concrete steps to address what you find. If you do, you’ll discover adventure, joy and peace on the other side, and you’ll take a giant step toward Becoming Yourself.

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