The simple fact is I was afraid. Afraid of – don’t laugh – the chiropractor. Let me explain.
A few years ago, I started having sharp pain in my back whenever I took a deep breath. I tried a massage, but the therapist thought I had a rib issue and needed a chiropractor. I’d never been before, but it seemed a smart move so I went.
She was right. I had two ribs out of place which the chiropractor promptly popped back in. It totally fixed my problem. But the adjustment hurt. A lot. I was assured by my wife and daughter, both of whom love going to the chiropractor, that my experience was an anomaly. When I decided to go back for a smaller issue a year later, it hurt like crazy again. That was enough for me. I swore off chiropractors unless it was absolutely necessary.
Fast forward to five months ago when I did something dumb. My wife and I were embracing minimalism, and in prep for our move from our house near Phoenix to an apartment in Sacramento, I spent hours sitting on the floor sorting through mountains of old paperwork. Since that time, I’ve been dealing with intermittent stabbing pain in my low back. It’s my body’s not so subtle way of reminding me that I’m 49, not 29.
I tried everything I could to avoid what I dreaded – going back to the chiropractor. Rest, pills, stretching, targeted exercises, you name it. Nothing worked for long. With my wife’s encouragement, I knew it was time to face my fear.
So a few weeks ago, I went to a chiropractor. Told him my issue. Shared my fears. The doctor was great, patiently explaining what he felt the problem was and outlining a care plan. Much to my disappointment, it meant a lot of adjustments – seven visits spread over a month. But with the pain of the last five months fresh in my mind, I took the plunge, deciding that if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. I embraced my fear and signed up for the full treatment plan.
I’ve gone five times so far. There’s been some necessary pain in the treatments but nothing like what I experienced in the past. And the results have been great. My back is significantly better. And while it’s still not the favorite part of my week, I no longer dread going to my appointments and have even started looking forward to them.
As I thought about this experience, I realized that it’s a perfect example of a key practice of personal development – facing our fears. Sometimes, as much as we wish it were different, the only way to get where we want to go or become who we want to be is to embrace what frightens us. And often, as I found, when we finally face what we’re afraid of, it’s far less daunting than we’d imagined, leaving us asking ourselves “Why didn’t I do this a long time ago?”
“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”
George Addair
So how about you? What fears do you need to face? What task have you been avoiding? Is it having a hard conversation? Taking a risk at work? Ending a toxic relationship? Going to therapy? Whatever it is, take the plunge. What do you have to gain by waiting? You’re only robbing yourself of the peace, relief, and growth you could be enjoying right now. Tell someone you trust about your fear. Ask them for advice, help, and accountability. If needed, break the task into smaller chunks, then take the first step. Today. If you do, you’ll feel a lot better and make a big leap toward Becoming Yourself.
Day and night. Work and play. Hot and cold. Love and hate. Sorrow and joy. Sun and rain. Vegetables and cheesecake. It’s a lesson that’s built into nearly every aspect of life. The world we live in is made up of a series of balanced opposites, holding each other in necessary, life-giving tension. It’s a dance, a system of give and take, of harmony, one we fight against at our peril. If any one of these couplets become too one-sided, our life becomes out of balance and bad things are the result.
So what does this have to do with personal development? In order to become the person we want to be, we must balance ACTION and CONTEMPLATION. My philosophy teaching father always says when discussing something important, “define your terms”. So what do I mean by “action” and “contemplation” in regards to personal development?
As you read those definitions, which did you identify with most strongly? We all have a natural leaning one way or the other. I personally gravitate more toward contemplation. I set aside time every morning for reflection, meditation, prayer, and personal growth reading. I enjoy introspection, trying to figure out who I am and how I’m wired. But I struggle with action. I feel deeply for other people’s suffering, but it takes intentionality and effort to step outside of myself to act on those feelings. Both are necessary, but it’s hard to find the balance.
My favorite example is Jesus. Regardless of your beliefs on his divinity, I think there’s a lot we can all learn from how he lived. The first four books of the Bible’s New Testament (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) paint an amazing picture of the way Jesus balanced action and contemplation. His ministry was filled with practical actions of healing the sick, teaching those who were searching for direction, training his disciples, challenging corrupt systems, and caring for the poor. At the same time, he regularly spent time away from the crowds to study, reflect, and pray (as a boy in the temple in Luke 2:41-51, forty days in the wilderness in Matthew 4:1-11, after feeding five thousand people in John 6:14-15, etc.).
If it’s ACTION, maybe you need to step out and volunteer for a cause you believe in. Try a school or a food bank or a club or a church. Go alone or grab a friend or a group from work. Use 
One of the amazing things about action and contemplation is that they have a symbiotic relationship where each feeds the other. I learn about myself and find healing through the ACTION of serving others. I’m most effective at serving others from the place of self-knowledge and wholeness gained through CONTEMPLATION. There’s no perfect balance to this. There will be seasons when it’s best to focus on action and others when you need more time in contemplation. That’s normal and okay. This is a lesson to work on for a lifetime.