Developing a Better You

Tag: best self (Page 3 of 17)

Need Motivation? Remember Personal Development isn’t Just Personal

Sometimes I forget that personal development isn’t just personal.

While becoming a better emotional and spiritual version of myself certainly benefits me, it also has a ripple effect. Everyone I interact with, from my closest friends and family to the checkout clerk I meet at the grocery store, is impacted by who I am and who I’m becoming.

I’m not saying I can make anyone grow or change. That power lies with each of us alone. And like you, I’m bombarded on a daily basis by bad examples of how to be human. But my personal development efforts can help me set a good example of what a healthy, growing human can look like. Though wildly imperfect, I can still be a useful guide for others to follow, as so many have done for me.

When I’m tempted to slack off on a personal development habit, be it better eating/sleeping/exercising, volunteering, nurturing meaningful relationships, spending time in prayer and meditation or sharpening my mind, I remind myself of this quote:

Be the reason someone believes in the goodness of people.

karen salmansohn

Remembering that my personal development journey is for the good of others as well as for myself often gives me the motivation I need to keep going.

So how about you? What kind of example are you setting for those around you? When people look at your life, are they inspired to become better versions of themselves? Do your words, actions, attitudes, behavior and how you spend your time, money and energy leave people discouraged by humanity or filled with hope at what an intentional person can be?

Your life gives off ripples. Everyone around you is effected. Choose simple, healthy habits for your heart, mind, body and spirit. Work them into your routine. Ask others to keep you accountable. Remember the quote above. If you do, you’ll not only enjoy a more peaceful, energized and fulfilling life, but you’ll help others do the same. And you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

How to Deal with Disappointment

I read the text and burst into tears.

The day after Christmas, I’d woken up with a scratchy throat and a fever. I got progressively worse and went to a drive-through testing site. Later that day, I got the results. After being fully vaccinated, boosted and wearing a mask inside public places, I’d still somehow contracted Covid-19.

I didn’t cry because I’d finally caught the disease I’d been dodging for almost two years. And thanks to the vaccines, I wasn’t worried about landing in the hospital or dying. I was crushed because we were three days away from our family holiday gathering with our kids.

Both our son and daughter spent Christmas with their in-laws this year, with our family slated to spend New Year’s weekend together. The six of us all being in the same place is a rare occurrence, and each one is my favorite time of the year by a mile. Now, like so many other families this year, my Covid diagnosis had just blown that cherished occasion out of the water.

Here are some things I learned from that bitter disappointment:

1.  Let yourself feel it. 

Disappointments are painful. Pretending otherwise doesn’t help anyone. As my dear friend and accountability partner often reminds me in hard times, “You’ve gotta let yourself feel the feels.” And while it’s good perspective to remember that others have it far worse, that doesn’t negate your pain. Just because someone else has cancer doesn’t mean your broken leg doesn’t hurt. That’s why I let myself cry and express my sorrow to my wife and kids.

2.  Is this a dream destroyed or a dream delayed?

After letting myself absorb the crushing news and talking it through with my wife, I called my kids. They were not only supportive and understanding, but let me know we could reschedule for a couple of weeks later. While still disappointing, the sting was much less when I learned I just had to wait a little longer.

3. Are there any hidden benefits to the change? 

Often you’re unable to see any unexpected benefits to a disappointment, at least not until time has passed. But sometimes you can find them even in the short term. My wife pointed out that if we had done our family celebration on Christmas Day and my pre-gathering test came up negative, I would have unknowingly put everyone at risk. I felt a huge relief knowing that didn’t happen.

4. Let it go.

My wife used to be a realtor and often put in countless hours with a client only to have them decide not to buy or worse yet, purchase a for-sale-by-owner home. Both instances meant she didn’t get paid. When that happened, her real estate broker gave her sage advice that she’s lived by ever since: “Let yourself feel bad for five minutes, then say ‘What’s next?’” Clinging to bitter disappointment doesn’t change the reality of it—it only lengthens its negative impact.

Disappointment is inevitable. How you respond to it is up to you. Let yourself ‘feel the feels.’ See if it’s a defeat or a delay. Search out any hidden benefits or hard-won lessons. Then let it go and move on. If you do, you’ll soften life’s stings and take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Increase Productivity by Exploring Your Flip Side

Going was against my nature.

I’m a creature of habit. I love ritual and routine. I thrive in it. There are many benefits to this trait, like efficiency, productivity and stress reduction. But there are downsides too, like stagnation, missed opportunities and reduced creativity.

One day during a recent trip to Vancouver to visit my daughter and work on my upcoming novels, I woke to a sunny morning, a rarity in rainy October. I had planned, as is my habit, to spend the morning writing. But the sunshine reminded me of a park my daughter, a fellow hiker, suggested I try while in town.

Lynn Canyon Park, North Vancouver, Canada

I was torn. The “stick to the routine and be productive” side of me urged me to stay in and write. The “seize the opportunity” part of me, normally the weaker of the two, urged me to be spontaneous and go explore. Knowing spontaneity is a growth edge for me, I put on my hiking shoes and headed out the door before I could talk myself out of it.

The park was glorious. Lush greenery. Ancient, towering trees. A wide, rushing river. A thundering waterfall. A suspension bridge spanning a gorge. I was entranced as I moved slowly along the trail, soaking in the fairyland environment.

Lynn Canyon Park, North Vancouver, Canada

And then it happened. I saw an unusual stone. Then a strange pattern in the roots of a tree. Then a wide pool at the mouth of a cave. My author mind started firing madly, ideas for a story flowing one after the other. Over the course of the next hour, I took dozens of photos and sent myself fifteen emails of notes. By the end of the hike, I had the rough outline of a new book. I returned to our Airbnb charged with energy to write.

Lynn Canyon Park, North Vancouver, Canada

My routine nature serves me well. I’m glad for it. But that experience in the park reminded me to be open to breaking my routine when opportunities present themselves. I know not every choice to “seize the day” will produce such a flurry of creativity, productivity and energy, but I’m equally certain that I’ll miss many of those gifts if I don’t put myself in a place to receive them.

Lynn Canyon Park, North Vancouver, Canada

So how about you? Are you a creature of habit or do you lean toward the spontaneous side? Is your growth edge developing better structures or being more flexible? Embrace the benefits of your natural bent. Be intentional in developing your “flip side.” If you do, you’ll experience a richer, more engaging and productive life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2025 Becoming Yourself

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑