I am becoming good friends with a seventy-four year old woman I have never met. I connected with Susan Rau Stocker in an unusual way. After writing a blog post supporting the Barmen Today Declaration (you can read that post here), I received a “thank you” comment from Susan and discovered she had helped write the Declaration.
Honored that one of the authors of such an important work had appreciated something I wrote, I thanked her for reaching out, then took the nervous step of asking if she’d consider doing a guest post here at Becoming Yourself. Ever gracious, Susan agreed (you can read her two guest posts here and here).
Through our subsequent communications, I discovered something surprising and wonderful – a kindred spirit. Though separated by gender, generation, and geography, Susan and I just click. Not only as fellow writers and bloggers, but as seekers of truth and hope, doing our best to become ourselves and help others do the same.
When I read one of Susan’s recent blog posts, I knew I wanted to share some of her wisdom with you. You’ll find her words below, expressing what I feel far better than I could myself. Know that her perspective comes not only from a life deeply lived, but from thirty years of experience as a clinical therapist. I hope you’re as challenged and inspired by her as I am on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.
(To visit Susan’s wonderful weekly personal development blog, click here. You’ll be glad you did!)
SUSAN:
As they say with all challenges and trials, this pandemic will either make us bitter or better. Both are already happening. The news is littered with stories of people hoarding hand sanitizer to resell it at ridiculous mark-ups. Others who had insider knowledge of what was to happen on Wall Street saved themselves financially. And then there are stories of children playing their musical instruments for elderly neighbors and young neighbors putting signs on doors of older neighbors, saying, “Call me and I can pick up anything you need.”
I’ve read that people facing death become “more themselves.” The kind ones become kinder, the nasty, snarly ones growl and bite harder. I think the same can be said of anyone facing stress of any kind — our true nature shines through.
We have some rough days ahead, my friends. How we chose to respond to these challenges and trials is not dependent on what the challenges and trials are but rather on who we are. Selfishness and greed are going to rear their ugly heads. So are selflessness and generosity. Everything in life is an opportunity. Every moment is a teaching moment because at every moment someone is watching and learning from each of us.
This virus will eventually be researched, understood and we’ll have medications to treat it when it does occur. The virus will disappear or at least will become manageable, and we will no longer have to dread it or stay in quarantine to avoid it. But, we will be left with ourselves and the record of our actions during this crisis. We may have malicious thoughts and cranky feelings — we are human — but how will we behave?
Helen Keller said, “Anyone can smile when the sun is shining.” A dark cloud named CORONA is hanging over our heads for the foreseeable future. How we respond will become our personal and public legacy, our private and corporate history.
With faith, hope and love — soulfully, Susan
Susan Stocker is a blogger, novelist, and Marriage and Family Therapist with Masters degrees in Communication and Counseling. She served as a mental health ambassador to China in 1998 and has volunteered with the Alzheimer’s Association, American Cancer Society, and many other organizations. Her published works include Only Her Naked Courage (2013), Heart 1.5 (2013), The Many Faces of Anxiety (2013), The Many Faces of PTSD (2010), and Heart (1981), as well as her blog The Many Faces of PTSD (manyfacesofptsd.wordpress.com). She is on a lifelong journey toward Becoming Herself. You can contact her at sraustocker@yahoo.com.
We’ve all known people who choose to see the ugliness, the downside, the negative in everything. Their glass is always half empty. They’re like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, minus being cute and cuddly. They are not fun people to be around.
On the flip side, we’ve all known people who are contagiously positive, upbeat, and filled with wonder at the world around them. Think Will Ferrell’s character Buddy in the Christmas movie Elf. Their glass is always half full. We’ve been envious of them. What’s their secret? They choose to see the beauty in every situation.
“I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I cannot feel it. I believe in God even when He is silent.”
So how about you? What do you choose to see? Where do you fix your eyes? What do you notice? Where do you focus your attention? Give yourself, and those around you, an amazing gift. Choose today to see the beauty in everything and everyone. Train your eyes to see the good. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.