Developing a Better You

Tag: Denison University

One Simple Choice for Joy and Contentment

Choose Your Attitude: BenchI was sitting on a bench at Denison College in Ohio when it happened. I had just finished my run and was waiting to walk my daughter to her play rehearsal when a loud, cheery voice called out, “Good morning! How are you?” Startled, I looked up and saw a groundskeeper in an orange vest, trash stick in hand. He was staring right at me with a big smile on his face. From the articulation of his words and some of his facial features, I realized that he was a person with an intellectual disability. I stumbled out what I hope was an appropriate response and he moved on.

Choose Your Attitude: SmileAs I sat on the bench and reflected on that encounter, I started asking myself some hard questions: Why aren’t I more like that? More unabashedly friendly? Why am I not that happy? If he’s the one with a disability, why is his outlook on life so positive?

Then I wondered what that groundskeeper would think if he could see inside my head. Maybe he would look at me with pity because he’d recognize how stressed I was, how I worried about the future and what other people thought of me. Maybe he would see that my perspective was bent or pick up on how slow I am to see the beauty in the small things around me. Maybe he would feel sorry for me and keep trying to brighten my day.

Choose Your Attitude: UmbrellaIn that moment, I was reminded of how big an impact the attitude I choose has on my happiness. The way I decide to look at life, regardless of my circumstances, will largely determine my enjoyment of it. I’ve seen it clearly in others – some people with health, wealth, friends, and family who are stressed and bitter while others dealing with illness, poverty, and loss shine with joy and hope.

Choose Your Attitude: Choose GoodI’m not advocating denying our pain and struggles. Some of us face incredible hardships or are in a season of spirit-crushing trials. Neither “put on a happy face” or “don’t worry, be happy” is a magic elixir for contentment. But, no matter what our circumstances, we do have the ability to chose our attitude. The power to see our difficulties as insurmountable joy-killers or real opportunities for personal growth is ours to wield.

Choose Your Attitude: HopeWe all have challenges in life that threaten our experience of joy, things that will either make us bitter or make us better. The attitude we choose to take toward these challenges will greatly determine if we feel stressed and defeated or peaceful and hopeful. Choose well today. Be grateful. Notice beauty. Show kindness. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Labyrinth

I was walking a labyrinth on the campus of Denison University in Granville, Ohio, last summer. A labyrinth is a walking path with only one winding route to the center.  Unlike a maze, there are no wrong turns, no dead ends.

I was focused on getting to the center when I became irritated by some tree branches overhanging the path.  I was about to duck past them when I realized I was missing the whole point of the labyrinth. The goal is not “to get to the center” but to reflectively enjoy the journey.

Then it occurred to me – how often do I treat life that way?  Plodding my way unseeing from one task to the next as if the goal of life is to get to the end and die. How do I so easily fall into that mindset?

So I stopped myself. Paused. Really looked at the branch. Touched the leaves. Sniffed them even.  They didn’t have much of a scent but I was proud of myself for smelling the proverbial roses.

Leaves are surprisingly interesting when you take the time to really look. I was particularly drawn to the back of a leaf where the veins could be clearly seen. I noticed the symmetry – balanced, but not perfectly so. Similar enough to evenly support the leaf but with variety too. I took in the oval chunks missing from one edge where a bug had helped itself to lunch. So this leaf, while itself flourishing, provided nourishment for another living thing. It helped another creature thrive.

Isn’t that like us?  Like the veins of a leaf, we are at our best when we work together to support a community while retaining our individual uniqueness. We strive to find balance in life while recognizing that perfect balance is an unattainable ideal. We try to live our lives in such a way that we are healthy and flourishing not just for ourselves but so that we have the capacity to help others thrive, to give while still growing personally.

So as you continue the journey through your own personal Labyrinth, don’t forget to pause. Notice what’s around you.  Reflect.  And remember that the goal of life is not to push blindly to the end but to reach out to others while Becoming Yourself.

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