Developing a Better You

Tag: downsizing

Find Peace Through Simplicity (part 1): Your Stuff

My wonderful readers – I am working hard on the revisions requested by my editor for my debut novel which will publish next summer with Penguin Random House (more details to come in future posts!). So for a few weeks, I’ll be mining some popular posts from previous years. This one was originally published October 10, 2020. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! I hope you find this helpful on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.

My wife Lisa and I were scrolling through Netflix documentaries recently and came across Minimalism, a film that started us on a significant journey four years ago. Rewatching it reminded me of just how far we’d come. Back then, we were living in a big house filled with possessions. Every closet was packed. Both garages were overflowing. Everywhere you looked was more stuff. 

Watching Minimalism the first time made me realize how I’d bought into the idea that more stuff equals more happiness, even though my life experience told me that wasn’t true. That documentary showed me that my possessions come with a price – not just the cost and financial stress of buying more stuff, but the maintaining, cleaning, and storing that goes along with it. Then there’s the emotional and mental drain of living in cluttered, disorganized spaces. I looked around my house and felt the weight of it all. I was ready for a change.

Grabbing a legal pad, I wandered the house, writing down every area that needed decluttering – closets, under beds, cabinets, garages, drawers, the backyard. I ended up with an overwhelming list. Because it felt less daunting, I started with one small closet, taking everything out and sorting items into four piles: keep, sell, donate, trash. For an item to be kept, it needed to have true utility (ex: a vacuum cleaner) or bring me real joy (thanks for the tip, Marie Kondo).

Looking at the freshly cleaned and organized closet, I felt lighter, more calm. The good vibes gave me enough motivation to keep going. Week after week, month after month, I slowly made my way through the list. It took about a year and a half to do the entire house inside and out, but when I was done, the feeling was incredible. I didn’t know at the time that this was just preparing my wife and I for what was to come.

A short while later, as I was in the process of winding down my music career to pursue writing, we decided to move to California to be near our son. We took the opportunity to discuss not only where we wanted to live but how. A smaller space. Less stuff. Low maintenance. A walkable area. We opted for a significant change, moving from our rambling house in the Phoenix suburbs to a much smaller apartment in highly walkable midtown Sacramento. We packed our favorite clothes, books, mementos, and necessities and moved via one road trip, eleven shipped boxes, and checked airline luggage. Then we hired an auction company, who sold both our cars and everything else we owned in one day. Now we own relatively few possessions and no vehicles. We absolutely love our simpler lifestyle.

As we rewatched Minimalism the other day, it struck me that what once felt like such a radical idea now seems so logical and familiar. We’ve really worked a simpler, more minimalist mindset into our lives. I honestly don’t miss all our stuff. In the past when I saw large, gorgeous homes filled with the finest things, I would think how amazing it would be to live there. Now it looks crowded and stressful. So much stuff to pay for, clean, maintain, and store.

To be clear, I’m not anti-stuff. I like stuff. A certain amount of stuff does add to happiness and ease of life. But how many sweatshirts or coffee mugs or shoes or kitchen gadgets or fill-in-the-blank do I really need? Simplifying our relationship to material possessions has led to less financial, mental, and emotional stress, and more peace, contentment, free time, and relaxation. Learning to say no to debt and unnecessary purchases has opened up opportunities for us to say yes to the things we really want and value like good food, giving, and travel.

So how’s your relationship with your stuff? Does it really give you the lasting joy the advertisers promised? Try holding off on that next impulse purchase. Wait a few days and see if you still really want it. Pick an area to declutter today. Let some stuff go. See if you miss it. With each small action, you’ll feel a little less weight and a little more peace as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

How to Declutter and Downsize Your Home (and Your Life)

I was surprised. In my last post (you can read that here), I shared some creative methods I used to create a “salary” for myself while trying to become a published author. I mentioned that was part of the dream life that my wife Lisa and I have worked on making for ourselves over the last few years, along with transitioning from living in a big house in suburban Phoenix AZ with two cars and lots of stuff to an apartment in midtown Sacramento CA with no cars and not much stuff.

What surprised me was the amount of questions I received on how we managed the decluttering and downsizing. With that in mind, here’s how we did it:

1. WE GOT ITCHY

I’ve always been a sentimental pack rat who loved stuff – a huge collection of books, lots of art, upright arcade games, ping-pong table, tons of furniture, swimming pool, fire pit, basketball court, two cars, you get the idea. Most of it wasn’t high-end, but there was a lot of it. When we became empty nesters and began to travel more, I realized how much I didn’t miss or NEED all that stuff while we were away. I started to resent how much time, money, and energy it took to maintain it all. Lisa was on the same page. We were ready for a change.

2. WE GOT INSPIRED

We watched a Netflix documentary about the minimalist movement called Minimalism, whose adherents talk about the freedom and relief they found by embracing a “less is more” approach to material possessions. I looked at photos of tiny houses and imagined what it would be like to live in a smaller space. I read interviews with decluttering queen Marie Kondo highlighting how letting go of things we don’t need brings us joy. An older friend I respect told me, “At some point, we stop owning our stuff and our stuff starts owning us.” The motivation was building.

3. WE GOT ORGANIZED

I wandered our 4,100 square foot house with a legal pad, trying to see each room with fresh eyes. I opened every closet, looked in cupboards and under beds, and made a list of all the spaces that needed decluttering, from the overflowing garage to the junk drawer in the kitchen. It was shocking and overwhelming to realize we had SO much stuff that hadn’t been touched in years. I broke the bigger jobs, like the garage, into smaller, more manageable tasks like “clear the metal shelving unit.”

4. WE GOT STARTED

I chipped away at the list, starting with the smallest, least intimidating area (a coat closet) and sorting everything into piles – trash, donate, sell, keep. I used Marie Kondo’s most famous decluttering rule for the non-essentials – if it brings you joy, keep it; if it doesn’t, let it go. Looking at the clean and organized closet gave me not just a sense of accomplishment – I felt strangely lighter, more free. That motivated me to tackle the next area. For sentimental things that I struggled to part with (I’m looking at you graphic t-shirts and kids school projects), I took photos of them, allowing me to hang on to the memories while letting go of the physical objects. Over about a year, I worked my way through the house, slowly purging us of unneeded stuff.

5. WE GOT BOLD

After discovering the lightness and freedom of a decluttered house, Lisa and I wanted that feeling in every area of our lives. We brainstormed about the kind of life we really wanted (more on that story here). That included eliminating home maintenance and living in a walkable area near our son. After multiple trips to visit him in Sacramento CA, we chose an apartment with a high walkability score. We selected only our favorite and most essential items from our books, art, mementos, clothes, and papers and moved them to the apartment via one SUV load, eleven mailed boxes, and checked airplane luggage. We hired an estate sale company who sold everything else we owned including both vehicles in one day – the house was full in the morning and empty by sundown. With the proceeds from the sale, we bought basic furnishings for our new apartment and pocketed the profit.

That’s how we did it. It took time, intentionality, and effort, but the results have been amazing! We LOVE our lives working as writers from our cozy, easy-to-clean apartment, free from home maintenance and vehicle hassle in our new walkable city. All the work to get here has been so worth it.

So how about you? Are you feeling the ITCH to declutter your home? Your life? If so, just take that next step. Get INSPIRED. Get ORGANIZED. Get STARTED. Get BOLD. If you do, you’ll find new freedom and joy as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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