Developing a Better You

Tag: finding meaning

Find Meaning in Your Pain with a Broken Window

During a recent road trip, I was walking the back stairwell of our hotel when this window caught my eye.

Either by accident or with intent, something had hit the window hard enough to break it, but not enough to make it collapse. At first, I thought it was a shame that this lovely window had been disfigured.

But then I looked closer. The intricate pattern of cracks was actually really interesting. Beautiful even. The wandering lines created a thousand individual pieces that formed one unique whole, like an uncolored stained glass window. It was not what it had been—the impact had changed it into something new.

That got me thinking about my own life. When an unexpected event, accident or tragedy comes along, my first reaction is often despair. This is not what I wanted. I see a hassle, a mistake, a broken dream. The beautiful life picture I’d imagined is now covered with cracks. Without my consent, my plan has been changed. I’ve been changed.

But on a closer look, usually after some time has passed, I often see something else. Something good. While they are not what I would have chosen, my scars tell a powerful story. Make a beautiful pattern. If I let them, they make me wiser, kinder, more compassionate. They allow me to understand, connect with and help others who have had their lives broken too.

So when life throws a rock against your heart’s window, nurse your wounds. Allow yourself to grieve. Say a grateful goodbye to the you that was. Then look deeper. See the beauty in your scars. Allow them to make you better instead of bitter. Let them show, and share your story. Reach out to those who find themselves similarly broken. If you do, you’ll find meaning in your pain and take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Life Lesson I Learned from “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” – Have a Point!

In the classic comedy movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Steve Martin delivers this biting line to John Candy: “When you’re telling these little stories, here’s a good idea – have a point!”

That got me thinking about my own life. Does it “have a point”? After a lot of trial and error, I can honestly say that I’ve found one – to know and be known, love and be loved, enjoy and be enjoyed by God. I believe that if I do nothing other than that, my life will have a satisfying “point.”

I completely understand that for some of you my “point” sounds unappealing or even foolish. I respect that. There are certainly many other options. Your “point” could be serving others. Family and friends. Succeeding at your career. Growing your bank account. Traveling the world. Experiencing pleasure.

Those things are all good, and I pursue them regularly. But whenever I’ve made anything other than God “the point” of my life, it eventually left me with a dissatisfaction, a restlessness, an itch I couldn’t scratch. Why is that? Maybe it’s because I was using good things in a way they were never intended, expecting more of them than they were designed to give. The philosopher Augustine put it this way: “You have made us for Yourself, oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” As others have framed it, humans were created with a God-shaped hole in our hearts that only God can fill. That may not describe your experience, but I’ve found it to be true for me.

I’m either a cosmic accident or I’m not. There’s either a universal design or there isn’t. Either God exists or God doesn’t. Neither side of the God debate can be proven conclusively. I believe there are compelling arguments and smart people on both sides. If these are topics you’re interested in, my advice is to familiarize yourself with the rational cases for and against, factor in your personal experience, then decide for yourself. (If you’re looking for a resource, youtube is filled with debates and lectures by the likes of Ravi Zacharias and William Lane Craig on belief in God and Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins representing an atheistic perspective).

Regardless of how you identify spiritually, I think we all wrestle with the same questions. Where does your heart find rest? What is your life’s “point”? Answer well and you’ll find peace, satisfaction, and meaning. And you’ll take a giant step toward Becoming Yourself.

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