Developing a Better You

Tag: goal setting

How to Achieve Your Goals Using Reflection

I don’t like New Year’s Resolutions.

They tend to seem forced, make me feel guilty, and I usually fail at keeping them. That said, I’m dedicated to personal development and to carving out the life I really want. That requires reflection. If I don’t look back on where I’ve been, how will I know if I’m closer to where I want to go? 

The start of a new year lends itself to personal reflection. Here are some significant events that stood out as I ruminated on 2024:

1. My mom passed away after a bad fall that she couldn’t recover from.

2. I published two books, numbers four and five in my spooky middle grade monster mystery series MONSTERIOUS (Penguin Random House).

3. I went on two national book tours, appeared at three book festivals, and hung out with one of my literary heroes, Goosebumps author R L Stine.

4. I had two different book projects rejected, ones that I pitched to my editor as a follow up to MONSTERIOUS.

5. My wife Lisa and I sold three houses, most of our possessions, and transitioned to living nomadically.

6. We traveled to eight countries, taking our nomadic experiment international.

7. I shockingly became a USA Today best-selling author on Christmas Day when my first book hit the list a year and a half after its publication.

Here are some insights I gained from that reflection:

 1. I went through some hard things

The death of my mom, the gut-punch of multiple book rejections, the grind of selling three properties, and the difficult transition to nomadic living took a lot out of me physically and emotionally. I realized I need to rest, be kind to myself, and give myself grace.

 2. I accomplished a lot

In the busyness of daily living, significant accomplishments can quickly get lost. Listing them reminded me of how far I’ve come in my personal and professional life. When those victories arrive, I need to take time to celebrate them, something I’m not good at.

 3. I’m going in the right direction

I came into 2024 wanting to push my writing career forward, find freedom through nomadic living, travel, and spend more time with people I love. I was surprised to realize how much ground I’d gained on those goals this past year. It was a lot of hard work and intentionality, but the results are incredibly gratifying. My life now looks close to what I’d set out to make it. 

As you reflect on the past year, what significant milestones stand out? What do those markers say about your progress  toward your goals? Does your life more closely mirror your preferred vision for it than it did a year ago?

Ask yourself these hard questions. Be brutally honest. Give yourself grace for the hard things you’ve endured. Lavishly celebrate your accomplishments. Take comfort in the progress you’ve made. Course correct as needed. If you do, you’ll have a more meaningful and enjoyable life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Eat Your Elephant: A Bite-Sized Way to Achieve Audacious Goals

Achieving Goals: Cleaning TileI hate floor tile. I’m more of a wood floor and carpet person. What I hate even more is cleaning tile. It had been on my to do list for a long time. I finally broke down and started the task by telling myself all I had to clean was the master bathroom floor and then I could quit.

To make the time more productive and enjoyable, I set up my laptop on the bathroom counter and searched YouTube for “best TED Talks”. For those unfamiliar with TED Talks, they are short teachings (about 15 minutes) on a wide variety of interesting subjects by experts in their field. I picked one at random and started scrubbing.

Achieving Goals: Goal SettingAs I listened to “How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals“ by Stephen Duneier, I was surprised to realize that I was actually using the technique the speaker was encouraging. I was breaking up a big task or goal into small, manageable pieces and then just taking the first step. It’s along the lines of the old adage “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” But this talk adds the tips of identifying your bites and utilizing otherwise wasted time in your day to take them.

Rather than reading my attempt at further explanation, give yourself a gift and take 18 minutes to be entertained, enlightened and inspired by listening to this highly motivating talk yourself.

Achieving Goals: ElephantBy the way, after I finished cleaning the master bathroom floor, I knocked out the entryway and downstairs bath floors as well! While floor cleaning is hardly an audacious goal, learning to apply this technique on smaller tasks gives me confidence in using it for bigger ones. Listen to this short TED Talk on a manageable way to achieve your audacious goals and take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

(Originally posted February 17, 2018)

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