Developing a Better You

Tag: gratitude

Beat the Holiday Blues with a Five-Minute Thanksgiving Exercise

The holiday season is a mixed bag.

Hopefully, you’ll get to enjoy at least some of positives—family, friends, parties, gifts, time off work and travel. But you’ll probably also have to face at least some of the negatives— stress, busyness, disappointment, loneliness, depression and financial pressure.

When you’re feeling the downsides of this sometimes dubiously named “Season of Cheer,” try this quick exercise to lift your mood:

Think of various categories in your life, then for each one, remember something you’re grateful for in the past year. 

This is in no way denying the very real hardships of what was an extremely difficult year for so many. But even if 2021 has been brutal for you, I’ll bet you can find some things to be grateful for. Here are some of my examples from this year:

FAMILY – I’m so grateful I got to officiate my son’s wedding and have an extended visit with my daughter.

FRIENDS – I’m so grateful for the many vaccine-enabled reunions with my friends.

CAREER – I’m so grateful that, after years of trying to break in as a children’s book author, I got my first book deal (a series with Penguin Random House slated to begin summer of 2023).

HEALTH – I’m so grateful that my dad survived his heart surgery.

NECESSITIES – I’m so grateful that I always had more than enough food, clothing and comfortable shelter.

WANTS – I’m so grateful that my wife and I got to renew our love of travel with several cross-country road trips.

So how about you? What are you grateful for in 2021? What categories would you choose? Take a few moments to ponder. Think outside the box. Be specific. Choose gratitude. If you do, you’ll give your mood a boost, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

What Living Near the California Wildfires Taught Me About Personal Development

Here’s what my home city of Sacramento, California normally looks like:

Here’s what it’s looked like for the past week:

Photo credit: John Myers, Los Angeles Times

The deadliest wildfire in California history, the Camp Fire, is taking place about 70 miles north of where my wife Lisa and I live. The resulting smoke has settled over a huge patch of northern California including Sacramento. Yesterday, we had the distinction of having the worst air quality of any major city in the world. The fire department is handing out free air filter masks, and health officials are saying to stay indoors if at all possible.

As a result, we’ve been holed up in our apartment for the last week. My outdoor excursions have been limited to going down to the lobby to get our mail every other day with my sweatshirt over my face. I’m very much a person who enjoys and thrives on routine, so this disruption to my normal schedule has been a challenge. Since we all face a variety of minor and major disruptions in our lives, I want to share three things that are helping me deal with my current situation:

Photo Credit: Noah Berger, Associated Press

1. BE GRATEFUL 

Choosing “an attitude of gratitude” is one of the most effective ways to deal with life’s interruptions. Lisa and I feel incredibly fortunate to be safe, to have our apartment not in danger, and as writers, to be able to work from home. To date, the Camp Fire has taken the lives of 71 people. Over 1,000 are still missing, tens of thousands have been displaced, and almost 10,000 homes destroyed. When we remember how others have been impacted so deeply, our minor inconveniences shrink to their proper perspective.

2. BE GENEROUS 

Generosity is gratitude in action. It’s taking practical steps to help others who are hurting. Our charity of choice during natural disasters is the Red Cross. The smoke hovering outside our windows serves as a reminder for us to give to a wonderful agency that is providing practical help to those devastated by these wildfires. If you’re motivated to donate, click here.

Me setting up our library

3. BE CREATIVE

Sometimes disruptions can provide opportunities to do things in a new way. I took the chance that being cooped up in our apartment gave me to do some long delayed projects, like setting up our library and laying out picture shelves in our bedroom. We sold both our vehicles in our recent move to Sacramento since we can walk almost everywhere including the grocery store. With walking being discouraged, this week we used an online grocery delivery service instead. I normally run outside five times a week, so I’ve been missing my exercise. Since we live on the sixth floor, this morning I tried running up and down the back stairwell of our building. It was shielded from the smoke and gave me a great workout.

So how about you? What disruptions are you dealing with? Take a moment to acknowledge the inconvenience. Then, remember the good things in your life, and BE GRATEFUL. Think of those suffering more than you are, and BE GENEROUS. Look for options you hadn’t considered before, and BE CREATIVE. If you do, things will definitely improve, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

How to Be Happy (Part 4): A 1 Minute Thanksgiving Practice

How to Be Happy: Thanksgiving, nature, autumn leavesIn honor of Thanksgiving week, I want to share a simple, quick practice I’ve developed over the years that helps me be happy. It’s a way to put my mind on a positive track vs. dwelling on the inevitable frustrations, difficulties and disappointments that life throws my way. Here it is:

Take 1 minute at the beginning and end of each day to remember the things you’re thankful for.

Simple right? Perhaps simple enough to make you skeptical. Could such an obvious and easy thing really make a difference? I can only tell you that it works for me. Starting the morning with an “attitude of gratitude” helps me keep a healthy, positive focus throughout the day. Ending the evening by reminding myself of the good things in my life, even after a horrible day, helps me find some perspective and drift off to a more peaceful sleep.

Personally, I do this as part of a prayer but you can do it as a simple moment of reflection too. Here are a few categories to help you get going:

1. HEALTH – If you’re in reasonably good health and free from ongoing pain, that’s a win. Be thankful for it.

How to Be Happy: Thanksgiving2. ANOTHER DAY – I have a neighbor who says “Every day above ground is a good one.” He has a point. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Be thankful for the gift of another 24 hours and the opportunity for a fresh start.

3. BASIC NEEDS MET – Do you have clean water to drink? Enough to eat? Clothes and a roof over your head? Congratulations. You are privileged. Millions around the world can’t say the same. Even in wealthy USA, recent natural disasters have robbed thousands of the basics. Be grateful.

4. RELATIONSHIPS – We’ve all heard it a hundred times because it’s true – family and friends add joy, richness and meaning to life. If you have them, be thankful. There are many who don’t.

5. A JOB – If you need one and you have one, celebrate. Even if it’s not a source of joy in your life, I’m guessing it beats the alternative. Whenever I’m frustrated with one of my jobs, I try to remember all the jobs other people do that I would absolutely hate. It makes me thankful for mine.

How to Be Happy: Thanksgiving, natureWhat would you add to this list? Make it personal and be creative. If you’re chasing happiness, try working these 1 minute wonders into your morning and evening routine. If you do, you’ll take another simple step toward Becoming Yourself.

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