Developing a Better You

Tag: how to be happy (Page 1 of 3)

How to Be Happy

After twenty-six years, I was tired.

Being a professional musician was my dream. My focus. My passion. I’d fought, scratched, and clawed to make a living doing something I craved. Something I believed in. I loved it.

Until I didn’t. The passion faded, and I found myself going through the motions. I still had the skill, but I’d lost the heart. So I made one of the toughest decisions of my life. After thousands of performances, I walked off the stage for the last time.

Being an author was something I’d dreamed about since I was a kid but never pursued. When I chose the music path, I left the writing path behind me. 

But decades later, life led me back to that fork in the road. Walking away from music gave me the opportunity to walk toward writing. Tentatively, fearfully, I took my first halting steps toward my long-delayed author dream. It was hard. It was scary. It was daunting.

And I was alive again. It filled my thoughts, made me bound out of bed, and lit my heart on fire. The passion that once fueled my music career burned bright for my new creative pursuit. I went from a high level in my first career to the bottom rung of my second. And I was happy.

If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.

andrew carnegie

Are you happy? Fulfilled? Do you have passion? Excitement? If not, follow Carnegie’s advice. Set a goal that commands your thoughts. Liberates your energy. Inspires your hopes. If you do, you’ll feel alive again, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

A Birthday Reflection: 3 Reasons Life is Good

I’m getting old. 

Now that I’m fifty-four, there’s no denying that I’ve become what my younger self considered “really old.” Mid-fifties? That was ancient. 

Perspective changes with time. I do not feel old. Am I a little slower? Tire more easily? Have a few new aches and pains? Sure. But this season is pretty amazing, and I wouldn’t go back to my younger days. 

I reflected on why I feel energized and hopeful lately, and here’s what I came up with:

1. MY RELATIONSHIPS ARE GOOD

My wife Lisa and I just celebrated our 32nd anniversary. She’s my best friend, and I’m looking forward to however many more years we have together. I’m having a blast interacting with my adult kids, who are married to great partners and established in careers they love. I have long-time friends that I see regularly, and my relationship with God is ever evolving.

It hasn’t been easy. Marriage is hard. Raising kids is hard. Nurturing friendships is hard. Relating to God is hard. But the years of effort we’ve all put in together is bearing a lot of fruit and has been totally worth it. 

2. I’M EXCITED ABOUT MY CAREER

Starting a new career in my fifties was daunting, especially in the highly competitive and uncertain field of novel writing. I spent far too long dragging my feet. Coming up with excuses. Rationalizing away my dream.

Until I didn’t. With a helpful push from my wife, I finally jumped in, and after long years of effort, my first two books are on shelves. I just completed my first book tour and have two more books coming out in the next seven months. While challenging, being an author feels fresh, energizing, and life-giving.

3. I’VE MAINTAINED HEALTHY HABITS

Personal development is something I’ve pursued for as long as I can remember. Sometimes it’s lead me down harmful alleys as I got too obsessed with a routine or exaggerated my own self importance. I often clung to old habits when life seasons changed and resisted embracing new patterns. 

But I’ve kept trying, kept learning, kept growing. It has served me well. Physically, I could lose some weight, but I’m happy with with my mobility and energy level thanks to my daily stretching and workout routine. I sometimes struggle with anxiety, but I’m usually upbeat and at peace thanks to daily mediation and prayer. Taking a day off each week to do things I enjoy does wonders for my perspective and positivity.

Do you feel invigorated, energized, and passionate about your life or would tired, flat, and bored be more accurate descriptors? Be honest with yourself. Invest in important relationships. Pursue your passions. Develop and maintain healthy habits. If you do, you’ll discover a renewed life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

How to Be Happy: Someone to Love, Something to Do, Something to Look Forward To

Sometimes numbers matter.

For my 150th post, I’ve decided to share about a much more important number—30. That’s how many years my wife Lisa and I have been married (thanks for putting up with me this long, buddy).

To celebrate, we decided to buy my father-in-law’s 2007 Pontiac G6 convertible in Michigan and drive it home to Arizona. We lived happily without a vehicle for the last three-and-a-half years, but the time felt right to own one again. Lisa has always wanted a convertible, and this little red beauty is a fun symbol of a great thirty-year run.

We turned the road trip into a book tour for Lisa’s upcoming novel, Clarice the Brave. It’s a middle-grade seafaring adventure about sibling mice who get separated and vow to find each other. This is the best book she’s ever written, and as she’s a many-times-over NY Times bestselling author of 26 books, that’s saying something. Along with stopping at numerous books stores, we hit national parks and other landmarks along with way.

This anniversary trip reminds me of an old quote by Alexander Chalmers about three things humans need to be happy: someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. While not an exhaustive list, I think that holds true. It certainly did in this case. The trip celebrated our love for each other. Planning it together gave us both something meaningful to do. And the adventure was something we really looked forward to. Not a bad recipe for happiness.

Could you use a happiness boost? Look at the three parts of the recipe. Do you have someone to love? This could be a good friend, close family member, even a pet. Do you have something meaningful to do? It might be your career, a hobby you’re passionate about or helping others. Do you have something to look forward to? Maybe it’s a get away or spending time with a loved one or the start or completion of an important goal. Take inventory. Be honest with what you find. Do something to jumpstart one of those areas today. If you do, your happiness will begin to rise, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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