Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Tag: how to find peace (Page 1 of 2)

Find Peace with Let Them Come, Let Them Be, Let Them Go

May 7, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Something about this quote caught my heart:

Let them come, let them be, let them go.

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It stirred a longing, a wistful feeling, a thinly veiled desire. It rang true. But what does it mean? 

One of the strengths of this quote is that it’s open to interpretation. Different people can find different meanings. For me, I realized it outlines a peaceful life, free from the fear of what may come, of what I’ll experience, and of what I might lose. I long for a life like that, to know that kind of relief and freedom on a daily basis. 

So how can I become a peaceful, mature, content person who lets things come, be and go? How can I live with open hands?

Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

I need to embrace new ideas, new people, and new experiences. I must let them come, even when they challenge my comfort zone and my established thinking. And once they are there, I must let them be, appreciating and enjoying them for who and what they are without feeling the need to change them. I need to be open to what they have to teach. At the same time, I must be willing to let them go when they have run their course, served their purpose, finished their season (you can read my post on when to let go of a relationship here).

Most of us naturally struggle with some of these traits while gravitating toward others. As a routine-loving person with a slightly timid nature, I struggle to let them come. Diving into new experiences is scary for me. I’d also put let them go in the growth edge column. I tend to take too long to realize a once-cherished routine, activity or relationship has run its course. On the plus side, I’m usually comfortable with let them be. 

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Which of these three ways of living comes easiest to you? Which is your biggest struggle? What are you resisting allowing to come into your life? What’s already in your life that you feel the unnecessary need to “fix”? What are you struggling to let go of? Breath deep. Be honest. Open your metaphorical hands to people, ideas and experiences. Let them come. Let them be. Let them go. If you do, you’ll find greater peace and contentment, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Feeling Stretched? Give Yourself the Gift of Serenity

July 10, 2021 / / 0 Comments

When the temperature of our hometown of Tempe, Arizona recently hit 118 degrees, my wife had an inspired idea:

“Let’s get out of here.”

One of the benefits of being writers is the ability to work from anywhere. Two days later, we were standing on a hotel balcony overlooking a marina in deliciously cool San Diego CA.

I spent the following morning exploring the Japanese Friendship Garden in nearby Balboa Park. I was entranced. The winding footpaths. Gentle waterfalls. Koi ponds filled with large, colorful fish. A meandering stream crossed by a gracefully arching footbridge. Quiet fountains formed of bamboo and stone. I sat on a shaded bench and marveled at the exquisite marriage of raw nature and artful landscaping. I left the garden feeling deeply content, like my emotional tank had been filled to the brim.

When we arrived back in Arizona, I sought out our local Japanese Friendship Garden. Nestled in the heart of downtown Phoenix, this surprisingly charming oasis is available to all who seek respite from the bustle of city life. In almost fifteen years of living in the area, this was my first visit. Why had it taken me so long?

It’s so easy to be caught in a mindless routine, putting my head down and churning through endless tasks, appointments, and responsibilities. My trips to these gardens reminded me that seeking life-giving serenity requires intentional choices. I’ll be more mindful in the future.

So how about you? Does your emotional tank need refilling? Does dipping your toes in a pool of serenity sound delightful? Make some time. Seek out a garden, a park, a trail, a museum, a quiet wood. Press pause on your to do list and just be. If you do, you’ll come away refreshed, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Feeling Stressed? Here’s a Simple Way to Find Some Peace

May 9, 2020 / / 2 Comments

My recent bout with coronavirus blues reminded me of stressful week I had a few months ago before the pandemic induced lockdown. I had to deal with a complicated tax issue. We got an unexpected $1000 medical bill when a “should have been free” screening was rejected by our insurance. Our credit card number was stolen by someone having a lot of fun in Florida at our expense. We learned of some serious problems with our rental house. Then the wall air conditioning unit in our apartment suddenly gushed water – again.

I’m normally pretty zen about these kinds of problems. Everyone has issues to deal with, and none of those struggles were unique to us. But having them crammed together in one week drove me over my limit, leaving me cursing and frustrated with a dark cloud over my head.

The next day I served lunch at a homeless shelter. I didn’t want to go, but it’s something I’ve committed to working into my routine. As I walked to the shelter, a man ahead of me on the sidewalk suddenly turned and jumped toward me, yelling something I couldn’t understand. At first I felt startled and defensive, but as I walked away, I wondered what kind of struggles he must be facing to act that way.

A few minutes later, I said hello to a disheveled woman who looked lost and forlorn. She said in a quiet voice that she knows I probably don’t care but she’d had a really rough night and was hoping to buy a drink at the 7-11 next door. I normally donate to charitable organizations where it can have the most impact, but I gave her some money, unable to imagine what it’s like to be a woman living alone on the streets.

At the homeless shelter, I spent three hours serving food to hundreds of people who had nowhere else to turn. White, black, brown, seniors, children, women, men. Poverty is no respecter of race, age, or gender.

On my walk home, a young man standing on the sidewalk reached out to fist bump me and asked where I went to college. He said he’d studied at Harvard, Oxford, Brown, and Le Cordon Bleu. During our conversation, he explained that he lived at the house we were standing in front of which was, as best as I could make out, a home for mentally challenged adults.

As I stood on our balcony that evening, I realized how much my negative feelings had changed. None of my problems had gone away, but as I compared them to those of the people I’d encountered that day, they seemed so small. I whispered a prayer for those I’d met and thanked God for my wonderful life.

So when the inevitable struggles come your way, take some time to acknowledge your understandable pain and frustration. But when you’re tempted to linger there, open your eyes and heart to the suffering of others. If you do, you’ll find some peace, and take another step towards Becoming Yourself.

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