On January 1st, 2020 I asked God if She had a word for me for the new year (the She is intentional – it reminds me that God is beyond gender).

I know that for some of my readers, the idea of asking God for anything, let alone expecting a response, is absurd. I understand and respect that position. But based on a lifetime of personal experience and some rational arguments that make sense to me, I believe in God. In addition, as strange as it sounds, I think a conversational intimacy with God is possible. Not in the same way as you and I would chat over coffee of course. No audible words or a voice booming from the sky. But a still, quiet sense of presence. A deep feeling, a relaxing of the gut. A word or phrase brought to my mind or heart that is somehow distinct from my own manufactured thoughts or the after effects of last night’s pizza.

But I digress. The point of this post is not to articulate the possibility or mechanics of a conversation with God. The point is, She answered:

Peace

That’s the word that came to my mind, strong and clear as a ringing bell. Whether it was from God or not, that word “peace” felt right as a focus word for the unknown year that stretched ahead of me. Little did I know at the time how much I would need it in 2020.

Immediately after that prayer, I sent myself the following email:

“I asked God if She had a word for me to focus on for the new year. I heard peace. I felt my whole body relax as I processed it. Peace vs striving. Peacefully focusing on one task at a time vs plowing quickly through a list. Pausing. Taking breaks. Helping, serving, blessing others, and accomplishing tasks out of the overflow of my life vs draining my tank, like a basin at the top of a fountain that fills to the brim then spills out onto everything around it.”

I kept that email in my inbox all year as a reminder. I was soon able to quote it verbatim, and I asked God to help me to live out of a sense of peace nearly everyday. Whenever the stress of coronavirus, social isolation, economic uncertainty, national divisions, deep disappointments, or complex decisions threatened to drown me, I clung to my focus word “peace” like a life preserver. It helped me regain perspective, find strength, and hold onto hope.

Now that 2020 is thankfully behind us, I’ll ask God if She has a new word for me for the new year. Perhaps I’ll hear nothing this time. Maybe I’ll hang on to “peace” a little while longer. I’m okay either way.

Do you have a focus word for the new year? Something you can cling to when the seas of life get rough? A word to give you courage and perspective, a signpost to direct you back to your chosen path? If you want to try praying for one, great. If you want to come up with your word on your own, fantastic. Make it simple. Make it clear. Put it where you’ll see it everyday. Work it into a daily mantra or meditation or prayer. If you do, your focus word will serve you well in the year ahead, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.