I’m tired.
For most of the last six weeks, I’ve traveled the U.S. on book tour, talking with people about writing and my Monsterious series. I’ve done a steady stream of stock signings, interviews, school presentations, and bookstore events. It’s been exciting, frustrating, fun, exhausting, and deeply fulfilling.
At the end of it all, I feel empty. Drained. In need of quiet, rest, and reflection. When I realized I didn’t have the time or the energy to write a new post this week, I waded through some of the hundreds of posts I’ve written over the last six years. The one I’m reposting below (originally published March 3, 2018) spoke to me, maybe because the thought of lying down for a long time sounds very appealing right now. I hope it helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
I love cemeteries. That might sound odd, even morbid. I’m not insensitive to the memories of pain and loss that they hold for so many. I deeply respect that. But to me, they are special places that nurture my personal development in ways few others do.
Cemeteries invite quiet reflection. They encourage me to slow down, to ponder, to contemplate. What do I want my life to be about? How do I want to be remembered? They have an atmosphere of reverence and respect, rare qualities in a time often marked by derision and divisiveness. A stroll through a cemetery reminds me of what I believe is important: Relationships. Character. Purpose. Joie de vivre.
I love how my perspective is sharpened by reading tombstones. I’m reminded that all of these people were once like me. That one day a grave marker will bear my name. Soon after, I’ll probably be remembered only by loved ones and then, over time, by no one at all. Reading those names reminds me that life is a breath, and I am small. I’m not as important to the world as I sometimes think I am. That’s a healthy dose of humility.
Yet being in a cemetery also makes me feel cherished, prized, special. Not to a fame infatuated world but to One whom I believe made me, knows me, and desires me. I think of a cemetery as a transition point, a way station, a gate that leads from one season to the next. It’s a passageway connecting one plane of existence to another. The end of one journey and the start of a far greater adventure.
I could be wrong. Maybe death is the end. Perhaps nothing waits for me and everything that I am will be snuffed out like the flame of a candle. But I don’t think so. I have subjective reasons, things I’ve felt and heard and seen that point to something greater, something beyond this life. And there are more objective arguments that appeal to my rational mind as well. So for reasons of both the head and the heart, I believe and find hope.
So if you need some perspective on life, if the thought of some quiet reflection sounds like water for your thirsty soul, if you’re looking for a little hope, I encourage you to slip away for an hour. Stroll thoughtfully through a cemetery. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
I was listening to Brynn Elliott sing Might Not Like Me on the radio when I realized something – this catchy pop song highlights a combination of two apparently conflicting characteristics needed for personal growth. At first glance, they may appear to create an oxymoron – a phrase that seems inherently contradictory, like jumbo shrimp, deeply superficial, or definitely maybe. But a closer look shows that definition really doesn’t apply. So what false oxymoron does this song reveal that I believe is key to Becoming Yourself? Humble confidence. Take a look at the first verse and chorus:
Brynn is both humble enough to admit her mistakes AND confident enough to own her strengths. In the verse, she’s humbly apologetic for anything she did to contribute to the breakdown of the relationship. When she does confidently acknowledge a superior ability, like running, she humbly points out that it’s not important. In the chorus, she goes pretty much all confidence, which I think is great. It sounds like the guy deserves it for being petty and insecure.
Listening to this song got me thinking about how a combination of humility AND confidence is needed for personal growth. Without humility, we become arrogant and unaware of our weak spots. Without confidence, we lack the necessary belief in our own value and ability to achieve our self-improvement goals. But with the right balance, we can have both the humility we need to acknowledge and work on our growth edges while also having the confidence to enjoy and build on our strengths.
