Developing a Better You

Tag: life lessons

My Top 5 Insights After 300 Personal Development Posts

You don’t know what you don’t know.

When I nervously wrote my first blog post back in 2017, I had no idea that I’d still be going eight years and three hundred posts later. That’s probably a good thing. The pressure would have stopped me in my tracks.

When I think back to all the life lessons I’ve learned and written about, a handful of recurring insights rise to the top. Here’s what I’d consider to be the top keys for a healthy, meaningful, and enjoyable life:

1. Identity is Indispensable

Answering the age-old question “Who am I?” sets the foundation for everything else. I’ve realized that basing my identity on anything temporal is shaky ground. If I use my career, my abilities, a relationship, or my season of life, what happens when I’m laid off or retire, my skills fade with age or lack of use, a relationship ends, or my kids move away? Who am I then? For me, I’ve found my deepest, unshakeable identity as someone who belongs to God. Whatever you choose for you identity’s foundation, make it something worthy of the wonderful person you are. 

2. Purpose is Paramount

Find a worthwhile pursuit that you enjoy to focus your energy on. It could be a career, helping others, a hobby, learning a new skill, travel, volunteering, etc. Life is far more meaningful and enjoyable when you have something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning.

3. Individuality is Immeasurable

The older I get, the more I realize the importance of pursuing my own path in life. I am NOT a norm-breaking pioneer by nature, but choosing to be a professional musician, then a published author, and now someone who lives nomadically were each non-traditional paths. Not surprisingly, they’ve been among the most rewarding aspects of my life, and I wouldn’t change them for anything. Set aside your worries about what others may think and go with whatever path truly brings you life.

4. Hope is Highest

Hope is the fuel on which the engine of my life runs. Without it, everything grinds to a halt. As author John Eldredge says, there are three kinds of hopes—casual hopes (ex: “I hope we have cheesecake tonight”), precious hopes (ex: “I hope I survive the layoffs at work”), and ultimate hopes (ex: “I hope I really matter”). All are important for a rewarding and energized life, but ultimate hopes have that name for a reason. I’ve pinned my ultimate hopes to God. Whatever you choose for the fulfillment of your ultimate hopes, make it something reliable and sustainable that gives your life momentum. (I wrote more about this idea here).

5. Peace is Pinnacle

Seasons and circumstances will inevitably change; the trick is to learn to maintain inner peace through them all. Ironically, some of my greatest inner turmoil has been during times of outward tranquillity, while some of my deepest calm has been in times of chaos. Meditation, scheduled rest, exercise, time in nature, prayer, connection with loved ones, and routine all help me find my internal balance regardless of season. 

Which of these lessons resonate with you? Which ones come more naturally and which are a struggle? Claim your identity. Pursue your purpose. Embrace your individuality. Harbor your hope. Prioritize your peace. If you do, you’ll be a balm to a wounded world, and you’ll take a giant step toward Becoming Yourself. 

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5 Life Lessons I Learned From My Granddog

His name is Leonard.

He’s an adorable black Bernedoodle, half Bernese Mountain Dog, half Poodle, the latest addition to my daughter and son-in-law’s growing menagerie. At only four months old, Leonard is already thirty-five pounds, and he’s all puppy—nipping, playing, napping, and eating everything in sight. We love him.

While spending time with Leonard, I’ve noticed he embodies certain traits that I want more of in my own life:

1. Be curious

For Leonard, everything is new and fascinating. I’m trying to remember how the world looked when I was young and to see things through the eyes of my inner child (or in this case, my inner puppy). I’m working on rediscovering the wonder in the wonderfully ordinary. Exploring. Asking questions. Trying new things. It makes life, and me, more interesting.

Leonard discovering a moth

2. Express affection

Leonard is not lacking in this department, sharing his snuggles and kisses generously. What does that look like for me? If I care about someone, I should show it. If I like them, I should let them know. I want to worry less about what people might think of me and more about making sure they know they’re special. Tail wagging is optional.

3. Take naps

Leonard is a champion napper. I’ve started trying it when I’m weary. My attitude and energy level are better for it. And the people around me benefit from me being less cranky and more fun. 

Leonard showing patience with his “big brother” Otis

4. Be patient

Though he’s three times the size, Leonard never reacts to his big brother Otis’s snarls and snaps, while Otis adjusts to not getting all the attention. Without understanding what Otis is going through, I could make a wrong judgement about his temperament. People are the same. Most of them are facing battles I don’t know about. When they’re prickly, I try to be as patient with them as I’d want them to be with me when I’m not at my best.

5. Be yourself

Awkward. Shy. Playful. Silly. Leonard is all these things. He has no pretense and wears no masks, taking everyone at face value and assuming they’ll do the same with him. The lesson is clear—whoever I am, I should be that.

A squinty sunrise shot of me with Leonard

Which of these puppy traits do you already embody? Which could use some attention? Be curious. Express affection. Take naps. Be patient. Be yourself. If you do, you’ll live a deeper, more enjoyable life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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