Developing a Better You

Tag: meditation (Page 1 of 2)

Lousy at Meditating? Try Walking Meditation

Life is hard right now. My mom’s serious medical issue that I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago has become critical, demanding much of my time and energy. That’s why I’ve been reposting content I’ve shared previously for the past few weeks. Spending extended time helping my parents navigate this difficult season has knocked my prayer and meditation routine off the rails. When I do find / make time for these practices, I struggle to focus. One thing that’s helped is walking meditation. Here’s a post I wrote about it previously. I hope it helps you on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.

I struggle with meditation.

If you’ve been focused on personal development for any length of time, you’ve probably heard about the benefits of meditation—stress relief, calming anxiety, generating ideas, lowering blood pressure, etc. The good news is, that’s all true. The bad news is that you have to actually do it, with some degree of “success,” to realize those benefits.

I’ve practiced mediation regularly in some form or another for years. There have been seasons where I really focused on it and others where it took a backseat in my personal development routine. These days I meditate / practice listening prayer ten minutes a day using the Calm app as my timer. The selection of soothing nature sounds helps me focus, but even with the app, I often struggle. I have an active mind, and my thoughts tend to zip around like hummingbirds.

Of the many meditation methods I’ve tried, the one I’ve had the most success with is walking meditation. It’s as simple as it sounds. Go for a stroll, preferably in a calm area, with no particular destination or agenda. Walk casually. There’s no hurry. Let your mind wander. Notice what’s around you. The sunlight filtering through the leaves of a nearby tree. The caress of the breeze. The scent of pine. The music of the birds. The pop of color from the flowers along the sidewalk. Interesting bits of architecture.

Ponder the things you observe. Sit at that random bench in the shade for a few minutes. Move on when it feels right. Let your fingers graze the bark of a tree. Pluck a leaf and rub it gently between your fingers as you walk, feeling your connection to the natural world around you. This isn’t a time to talk on the phone or listen to a podcast. Soothing instrumental music can help, but I usually prefer the soundtrack of my environment.

I practiced walking meditation recently on the lovely campus of a nearby university. I strolled for an hour in silence. Watched robed graduates taking celebratory photos in front of a fountain. Bent to retrieve a fallen pine cone and rolled the rough texture against my palm. Admired the majestic old buildings. Sat in a secluded courtyard beneath a flowering tree. It was lovely and healing. I returned home feeling calm, rejuvenated, and refreshed.

So how about you? Have you ever tried meditating? Was it easy or difficult? Regardless of your past experience, give walking mediation a try. Find a park or a path or a secluded spot. Try your neighborhood. Take an unhurried stroll. Notice the sights, sounds, and smells around you. Let go of any sense of task or agenda. Just be. If you do, you’ll begin to experience the benefits of meditation, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Frustratingly Beautiful Practice of Silence

I have monkey mind. 

In my practice of silence, rather than the calm stillness I seek, thoughts often leap about randomly in my head like monkeys in a tree. It’s frustrating

But I’ve learned that if I stick with it, my ping-ponging thoughts begin to settle, like still water on a pond after the ripples subside. I’m usually able to find the peace, clarity, insight, and connectedness to my truest self that I’m looking for. 

Author and teacher Henri Nouwen described this struggle-and-benefit duality of silence. While the closing section on connection with God may not fit your worldview, I believe there is still much to be gained from his insight and from the practice of silence:

At first silence might only frighten us. In silence we start hearing voices of darkness: our jealousy and anger, our resentment and desire for revenge, our lust and greed, and our pain over losses, abuses, and rejections. These voices are often noisy and boisterous. They may even deafen us. Our most spontaneous reaction is to run away from them and return to our entertainment.

But if we have the discipline to stay put and not let these dark voices intimidate us, they will gradually lose their strength and recede into the background, creating space for the softer, gentler voices of the light.

These voices speak of peace, kindness, gentleness, goodness, joy, hope, forgiveness, and most of all, love. They might at first seem small and insignificant, and we may have a hard time trusting them. However, they are very persistent and they will be stronger if we keep listening. They come from a very deep place and from very far. They have been speaking to us since before we were born, and they reveal to us that there is no darkness in the One who sent us into the world, only light. They are part of God’s voice calling us from all eternity: “My beloved child, my favorite one, my joy.”

henri nouwen, “you are the beloved”

Have you experimented with silence? Perhaps you’ve struggled as I have. Try again. Start with one minute. Gradually lengthen your time. Go slowly. Try techniques like a focus image (candle, mountain meadow, fireplace, etc), concentrating on your breathing, or repeating a helpful word or phrase aloud or silently (peace, quiet, God, love, I am seeking myself, etc.). Stick with it until your wandering thoughts begin to still. If you do, you’ll experience greater peace and clarity, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books. As shared in the Nov 24, 2023 Daily Meditation from The Henri Nouwen Society. 

Embrace Your Elephant: Find Peace with a Pachyderm

Sometimes a piece of art just hits me. While looking for pictures to decorate our apartment, I came across one that made me smile. It was whimsical and playful, yet also thought provoking. Here it is:

Elephant and Dog Meditate at Summer Night by Mike Kiev
(purchase here)

There’s just something about this painting of a dog and an elephant sitting together, gazing over moonlit waters on a summer night, that I absolutely love. I’m a fan of quirky things, nature, and the color blue, so on those levels, this art piece has a lot of appeal to me.

But I also love contemplation. Just sitting and thinking. I have an evening ritual where I sit on our balcony, look at the night sky above a nearby park, and reflect. I meditate on simple things, like what I did that day, and bigger things, like who I am, why I’m here, and what life is all about.

One of the reasons those times are meaningful is that I feel like the dog in the painting. That I’m not alone in my nighttime routine. I sense an invisible Elephant sitting beside me, staring out into the starlit sky. I feel it’s presence surrounding me, comforting me, whispering to me, guiding me. Something bigger, stronger, and wiser, keeping me company and joining me in quiet reflection.

I call my elephant God. You may call it Mother Nature, a cosmic force, or your higher power. You may call it nothing at all and believe that the universe is a purely physical, naturalistic system. My goal is not to argue in favor of a specific definition of a spiritual component to the universe, but I would like to propose this:

HAVING AN ELEPHANT MAKES LIFE BETTER

Why do I say that? Because I’ve discovered over the course of my life that having Someone bigger, higher, stronger, and wiser than me helps. A lot. It gives me peace. Security. Comfort. Guidance. Companionship. Belonging. Meaning. Love. Joy. Of course, an Elephant is not the only place to find these things, but it is the deepest, truest, and most lasting source of them that I’ve ever found.

I’ve learned that when life is all up to me, I’m not enough. Not to become who I want to be anyway. I need help for that. I’m in no way saying that I think I’m bad or unworthy. Far from it. I believe in and love myself deeply. I have huge respect for the power of the human spirit and what I can accomplish when I set my will to it.

That said, I find the thought that I’m my own highest power is more than a little depressing. I know me. If I’m IT, then I’m in trouble. As wonderful as I am, I know I have weaknesses, flaws, and limitations that will prevent me from being the person I really want to be. From living the life I truly want to live. I need help.

That’s where my Elephant comes in. A Helper. A Guide. A Friend. A Comforter. A Provider. A Protector. A whisper in my spirit that assures me I’m not alone, and that in all the craziness of life, someone much bigger than me has their hands on the wheel. That gives me a lot of comfort and hope.

You may feel that makes me weak. That I’m unwilling to face the cold, cruel reality that we are nothing but a cosmic accident, alone in a mindless, uncaring universe. Perhaps you’re right. Maybe there is nothing more. No-one, certainly not me, can prove the existence of God, a higher power, or whatever a person may call their Elephant. But no-one can disprove the Elephant either. I believe in God because of deeply personal experiences I’ve had and rational arguments I find compelling. Enumerating those is beyond the scope of this post, but if I’m using my belief in an Elephant to achieve a more meaningful, joyful life, then I’m in good company with people a lot smarter than I am. That’s a choice I’m happy to make.

So what about you? Do you have an Elephant? Someone or Something bigger than yourself that you believe in? A higher power that allows you to face life with a hope, peace, and security that can prove elusive when you choose to go it alone?

If you’re intrigued, gaze up at the night sky. Open your mind and heart to God, the Cosmos, Mother Nature, whatever you want to call it. Breathe a prayer. A request for awareness. For ears to hear, eyes to see, a heart to feel. Taste and see. You just may sense an Elephant at your side. If you do, you’ll take a giant leap toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published March 16, 2019.

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