Can three minutes really change your life?
I understand the skepticism. We’ve all heard too many “get rich or skinny quick” sales pitches to believe such a claim easily. All I can say is one simple exercise has worked wonders for my emotional and mental health.
Every night before bed, I gaze out the window at the dark skyline and reflect on things I’m thankful for. Things that went well that day. Tasks I accomplished. Meaningful conversations I had. Beautiful things I saw. Something that made me laugh or smile. People I spent time with. Even on hard, crushing, frustrating days, I can be grateful for health, for family, for a roof over my head and food to eat. For the gift of sleep and the hope of a new day.
That’s it. It really is that simple. Those few minutes of intentional thankfulness foster a positive, healthy perspective and help me avoid a victim mentality.
I’m glad that in the U.S. we have an annual holiday centered on being thankful, but a habit of daily gratitude is far more impactful.
Celebrate well this Thanksgiving weekend. Enjoy rest, family, friends, and good food. Then carry a little bit of Thanksgiving with you everyday. Establish a three-minute thankfulness routine. If you do, your emotional and mental health will rise, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
I recently had the strange and wonderful experience of watching my daughter Kennedy McMann on a TV show. She’s an actor living in New York City, and she guest starred on NBC’s long-running hit “Law and Order: SVU” (season 20, episode 4, air date Oct 11, 2018). If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s a police procedural focusing on a big city special victims unit. Horrible things happen to the characters portrayed by the weekly guest actors. As I watched Kennedy play these heart wrenching scenes, I found myself feeling incredibly proud, amazed by her talent, and caught up in the emotion of the story.
As I reflected back on that experience, I wondered at how Kennedy was able to portray all that raw emotion with such authenticity. Her acting experience and excellent training at Carnegie Mellon University can only carry her so far. Then I realized an important factor in understanding this ability – she was repurposing her pain.
It’s so tempting to deny, bemoan, bury, or wallow in your pain. But none of those responses are helpful. Not to yourself or anyone else. Instead, how about looking for a way to repurpose your pain? Let it serve as motivation or fuel for a healthy personal goal, like training for a race, taking a class, or applying for a new job. Can you share your story in a way that equips, encourages, and empowers others to face their own struggles? It may be as simple as a social media post or sharing a little more deeply than normal with a friend over coffee. Maybe it’s something more substantial like starting a blog or teaching a class or volunteering at your favorite charity or writing a book. Whatever it is for you, choose to start today.
We all have pain. The question really comes down to this – what are you going to do with it? I encourage you to embrace your pain. Feel it. Process it. Learn from it. Then let it go. Refuse to bury it, deny it, or marinate in it. Use your pain as fuel for a personal growth goal. Share your story to shine a light for others and find your own healing. If you do, you’ll take another giant step to Becoming Yourself.
There’s a bizarre character in the M. Night Shyamalan movie Lady in the Water. He’s a bodybuilder who only works out one half of his body. As you would suspect, he looks like a young Arnold Schwarzenegger on one side and Pee-wee Herman on the other.
I think a foundational building block of personal development is balance. I’m not saying that every area of my life is of equal importance. For example, I’d rather be emotionally healthy with average intelligence than a depressed genius. That said, I believe working on myself as a whole will yield more satisfying results than a hit or miss approach.
5. Spiritual health – prayer, silence and solitude, 
When I’m feeling depressed, grumpy, stressed or generally out of whack, I try to step back and do a quick mental review of these areas. It’s usually pretty easy to see which ones are out of balance and need a little TLC. Having this checklist not only helps me find a way out of my funk, it gives me a gauge to measure my progress on my personal development goals. It helps me become a better version of myself.