Developing a Better You

Tag: Nancy Drew CW

RISK = The Price of the Life You Really Want

We’re a family of artists. My wife Lisa is an author, our son Kilian is an illustrator/graphic designer, our daughter Kennedy is an actor, and I’m a musician. These are typically not stable career paths. One thing I’ve learned in watching each of us follow our dreams is that you have to take risks in order to have the life you really want.

Today, Lisa is a New York Times bestselling author of twenty-two books and counting, but there was a time when she quit her job to try to make it as a writer and made no money for two years. When she did sell her first book for a relatively small amount, we rolled the dice again and invested that money back into promoting her career versus improving our standard of living.

Kilian has made a name for himself as a highly talented designer for the craft beer industry. I recently attended his highly popular class called Design With Beer In Mind, a part of Design Week Sacramento, that he envisioned, organized, and taught in. Kilian is loving the freedom and creativity his position affords him, but it came with a big risk. A year ago, he quit his secure job to go freelance and lived off his savings while he hustled to get his desired career off the ground.

Kennedy recently landed her dream job starring as Nancy Drew on a television series coming to the CW network this fall. But for a very uncertain shot at playing that highly coveted role, she took the risk of turning down a supporting part on another show that was guaranteed to air, even knowing that Nancy Drew might never get picked up for a series.

Having the life you really want requires risk. Your dreams won’t be handed to you. Planning, preparation, and hard work are all important, but at some point, you’ll be standing on the edge of a cliff. The life you desire will be just on the other side of a big gap. To reach it, you have to make the leap. You might make it. You might fall short. The only way to know is to jump.

That’s a risk I’ve recently taken. I left a comfortable, secure job as a musician to try to make it as a writer. My first manuscript secured me a top agent which I’m thrilled about, but so far, I have a growing list of rejections from publishers. Will I ever make it as an author? Will the risk pay off? I’m not sure yet. But either way, I’m glad I took the leap. Whatever happens, I’ll never have to live with, “What if?”

So how about you? What does your dream life look like? What risks would you have to take to make it a reality? Are you willing to take them? Visualize the life you want. Plan and prepare for it. Do the work. And when the time comes, take a deep breath, screw up your courage, and jump. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

What I Learned About Dreams on the Set of “Nancy Drew”

I recently saw my daughter Kennedy get recognized on the street. She’d just wrapped her first week of filming in Vancouver for a new Nancy Drew TV pilot for the CW network. After four thousand young women from multiple countries auditioned, Kennedy landed the coveted roll of Nancy Drew. Even though the first episode hasn’t finished filming yet, the press buzz about the project was enough to have a stranger know Kennedy’s name and ask for a photo with her.

It was one of a number of surreal moments my wife and I had while visiting Kennedy on set. We chatted with actor Freddie Prinze Jr., who is playing Nancy Drew’s father. At dinner with some of the cast and crew, we learned the director Larry Teng got his start working with James Cameron on the movie Titanic. The actor playing Nancy’s best friend, Leah Lewis, is set to star in a new Netflix movie. Tunji Kasim, cast as Nancy’s boyfriend, just wrapped a film with Helen Mirren and Gandalf himself, Sir Ian McKellen.

One of my favorite moments was watching the filming of a city street scene. While police stopped traffic and a few of the two-hundred person crew held back onlookers, the director yelled action, sending one-hundred and thirty extras into motion. Then came my daughter, her hair newly dyed an iconic Nancy Drew red, running through the street, her every move tracked by a crane-mounted camera. The director called cut, and as people clapped, Kennedy flashed me a smile of pure joy. I melted.

We all have dreams. Things we long for, hope for, and imagine as the ideal version of our lives. While it’s great to chase those personal goals, watching my daughter soar helped me realize something important:

SOMETIMES HELPING SOMEONE ELSE ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS IS MORE FULFILLING THAN ACHIEVING YOUR OWN

There are things I dream about, like having one of my novels published, attaining long-term success as a writer, and traveling to my bucket-list places. But as Kennedy and I chatted in her trailer on set, I realized that nothing I could accomplish, no personal goal I might meet, will ever give me the joy I get watching one of my kids fulfill their dreams.

Kennedy’s dream-come-true came with a price. It took an incredible amount of drive, determination, and courage on her part, not to mention thirteen years of blood, sweat, and tears training as an actor. But it cost Lisa and me as well. The hours spent chauffeuring her to auditions, rehearsals, lessons, and performances. The uncounted less-than-stellar youth theater productions we attended. The complicated, high-stress college audition process, flying around the country attempting to get into a top drama program. Then the huge financial price tag that came with acceptance to Carnegie Mellon University, one of the best acting schools in the U.S..

Suffice to say, the cost of helping Kennedy nurture her dream was high. But standing on set that day, seeing her smile light up the street, made every sacrifice more than worth it. I would do it all over again.

So how about you? How can you help the people in your life achieve their dreams? Supporting your own child is an obvious example, but for you, maybe it’s a friend, a co-worker, another family member, or even a stranger. What sacrifice of time, advice, money, encouragement, or energy could you give to help someone else flourish? If you’re willing to help others shine, you just might find it brings you closer to the life you’ve always wanted. And you’ll have taken another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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