Big changes can bring unexpected gifts.
That’s proven true for my wife Lisa and I as we’ve transitioned to living nomadically. Seven months ago, we sold our rental houses, primary residence, and most of our possessions. Now we live in hotels, AirBnbs, cruise ships, and with friends and family, working remotely as writers as we go.
There have been sacrifices—not having a place to call our own, not having our living space designed and furnished to our tastes, and travel hassles to name a few. But the benefits have far outweighed them—a sense of freedom and spontaneity, seeing the world, few maintenance and cleaning responsibilities, and a cheaper cost of living.
One benefit has surprised me. I thought our nomadic lifestyle would naturally lead to a loss of community, but the opposite has proved true. Now that we’re not tied to one place by a mortgage and maintenance, we’re spending more and better time with family and friends than we did before. Living with my father and Lisa’s sister for stretches at a time. Staying near our kids who live in different cities. Visiting friends across the country.
We still enjoy spending quite a bit of time in Phoenix Arizona where we lived and worked for twenty years before becoming nomads. We have some family and a lot of friends there. A particularly delightful surprise during our Phoenix stays has been living with our closest couple friends, Bill and Chuck.
Bill and Chuck have a guest bedroom and bath tucked away at the back of their house. They invited us to stay for a few days multiple times as we were getting acclimated to nomadic life. We all had such a good time together that Lisa and I approached them with the idea of renting their space for longer stretches while we were in town. We proposed doing it on a trial basis with complete honesty on both sides about how it was going. Maintaining our friendship was the highest priority for all of us, and we agreed to live elsewhere the moment it felt like the cons were outweighing the pros.
They readily agreed, and to the surprise of all of us, it has been a delight. They are kind and generous hosts, and Lisa and I work hard to be sensitive and conscientious renters. We’ve been here for six weeks out of a planned eight before heading off for months of travel elsewhere. The sense of “housemates” community we’ve all felt has brought a richness and depth to our lives, and has been one of the greatest gifts of our nomad experiment thus far.
You don’t have to become a nomad to find community, but it often takes intentionality. My daughter found community with fellow dog owners in her morning trips to the dog park. My dad has dinner with his sisters every weekend. I have a standing Thursday lunch with my closest friend and a monthly poker night with old bandmates from my music days.
How’s your sense of community? Identify the life-giving people in your relational circle. Put recurring times of connection on the calendar. Be intentional. Automate the important. If you do, you’ll enjoy a richer, deeper life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
