Developing a Better You

Tag: personal development (Page 16 of 77)

Looking for Passion and Joy? Find Inspiring People

“Can you guess what this is?”

Ralph wore an infectious grin. He owns the charming Homestead B&B where my wife and I recently stayed. I examined the thimble-sized white container he held out to me, then gave up in confusion.

“It’s a regular styrofoam coffee cup,” he said. “I tied it to the outside of the submarine James Cameron took down to explore the Titanic. The water pressure shrunk it perfectly.”

For thirty years, Ralph has been in the television production business, filming everything from a Titanic documentary, to a lavish event by the royal family of Dubai, to John Travolta’s fiftieth birthday party. He talked animatedly about his work, his fascinating collection of treasures at his B&B, and his twin grandkids. He exuded passion and joy.

Ralph’s thimble-sized coffee cup

“Come look at this!”

Philip, owner of the Savvy Tea Gourmet, led me to a beat up cardboard box covered with international shipping labels. “This just arrived from Nepal. It’s an amazing tea that grows a mile high in the Himalayan Mountains.”

He gave me a tour of his shop, encouraging me to smell and sample a variety of unique teas from around the world. After enthusiastically sharing the mental and physical benefits of each type, he said, “Beyond that, drinking these teas is just a really enjoyable experience. Isn’t that what it’s about?” He exuded passion and joy.

“What brings you joy?”

Melissa posed the question to my author wife Lisa McMann during a Joyful Learning podcast interview. In addition to being a podcaster, Melissa is a school librarian, a champion of kids books, and a maker of a variety of delightful cloth items. Her “maker’s space” screamed creativity, and her eyes glowed with excitement as she talked about her various interests. She exuded passion and joy.  

My wife Lisa McMann being interviewed by Melissa Thom in her maker’s space

As I walked away from each of these amazing people, I found myself recharged, motivated and inspired. Their dedication to their passions made me want to rededicate myself to mine. Their vibrant enthusiasm for life made me want to develop that characteristic more deeply in myself.

How about you? Could you use more passion and joy? Find passionate, joyful people. Spend time with them. Ask questions. Listen to their stories. You just may find a joyful wind blowing through your own life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published July 30, 2022.

Find Freedom by Befriending Death

It’s odd to think of befriending death.

Most of us have learned to fear death—the ending of our earthly identity, of all we know. The painful separation from loved ones. Facing the uncertain beyond.

But this idea of befriending death rings true for me. I’ve been working on it for many years. My spiritual worldview that this life is not the end certainly helps. Even if that’s not your belief, I think there’s wisdom in the following words that can help your life become fuller, richer, and deeper. Whether we exist beyond the grave or not, I hope this perspective helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Our first task is to befriend death. I like that expression “to befriend.” I first heard it used by Jungian analyst James Hillman when he attended a seminar I taught on Christian Spirituality at Yale Divinity School. He emphasized the importance of “befriending”: befriending your dreams, befriending your shadow, befriending your unconscious. He made it convincingly clear that in order to become full human beings, we have to claim the totality of our experience; we come to maturity by integrating not only the light but also the dark side of our story into our selfhood. That made a lot of sense to me, since I am quite familiar with my own inclination, and that of others, to avoid, deny, or suppress the painful side of life, a tendency that always leads to physical, mental, or spiritual disaster. . . .

I have a deep sense, hard to articulate, that if we could really befriend death we would be free people. So many of our doubts and hesitations, ambivalences and insecurities are bound up with our deep-seated fear of death that our lives would be significantly different if we could relate to death as a familiar guest instead of as a threatening stranger.

henri nouwen, you are the beloved

Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust, published by Convergent Books. As featured in the Sept 17, 2023 Daily Meditation by The Henri Nouwen Society

A Better Way to Approach Life

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.

lao tzu

That quote is not me. 

Plans. Lists. Schedules. That’s my style. 

But something about the perspective in that quote almost took my breath away. The freedom. The ease. The spontaneity. It sounds so appealing. 

That’s especially true right now. I just finished writing the fifth book in my Monsterious series on a tight deadline. I’m in the middle of an ambitious tour season with dozens of school and bookstore appearances in five states along with various interviews. My itineraries are ten pages long. Everything feels planned. While that’s a necessary part of my job, it highlights the appeal of lightly planned travel with a focus on the journey, not the destination. 

I’ve scheduled some serious downtime for November to live out this quote in an intentional way. While that’s a good thing, I believe “time off” is only half of what the quote is trying to teach. The real life-changing power of this perspective is not only to apply it in dedicated blocks of time, but to adopt it into my everyday life. Even while following detailed itineraries. 

I’m going to try my best over these next six weeks to travel lightly, keeping my mental and emotional baggage to carryon size. I’m sure I’ll fall short many times under the weariness and stress of the tour, but, as with all of my attempts at personal development, the effort itself is a victory. As C. S. Lewis wrote, “If the will to walk is there, God is pleased even with our stumbling.”

On your life’s journey, set aside time for unhurried, floating travel. Begin to shift your daily perspective to this more fluid and flexible state. If you do, you’ll experience lower stress and greater peace, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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