Developing a Better You

Tag: personal development (Page 4 of 77)

Hope is an Axe

Sometimes four words can stop your heart:

HOPE IS AN AXE.

Hope is not a lottery ticket you can sit on the sofa and clutch, feeling lucky. It is an axe you break down doors with in an emergency.

Rebecca Solnit, Hope in the Dark: The Untold History of People Power

I’m a big fan of hope. I’ve thought about, cultivated, and written about it often (you can read those posts here, here, and here). But I’d never thought of hope in such a forceful way, like a weapon to cut through the morass of doubt, fear, and cynicism that surrounds us. It changes hope from a fragile, ephemeral feeling to a rugged, dependable tool.

That perspective on hope is mirrored in the response author, actor, and musician Nick Cave gave to a fan who presented him with a question I’m sure many of us have asked ourselves:

“Do you still believe in us human beings?”

Nick’s answer paints a sharp-edged view of hope:

Much of my early life was spent holding the world and the people in it in contempt. It was a position both seductive and indulgent. The truth is, I was young and had no idea what was coming down the line. It took a devastation to teach me the preciousness of life and the essential goodness of people. It took a devastation to reveal the precariousness of the world, of its very soul, and to understand that the world was crying out for help. It took a devastation to understand the idea of mortal value, and it took a devastation to find hope.

Unlike cynicism, hopefulness is hard-earned, makes demands upon us, and can often feel like the most indefensible and lonely place on Earth. Hopefulness is not a neutral position — it is adversarial. It is the warrior emotion that can lay waste to cynicism.

Each redemptive or loving act, as small as you like — such as reading to your little boy, showing him something you love, singing him a song, or putting on his shoes — keeps the devil down in the hole. (Hope) says the world and its inhabitants have value, and are worth defending. It says the world is worth believing in. In time, we come to find that this is so.

Nick Cave

When you feel torn by the strain of the world, when people around you surrender to their shadow side, when cynicism sings its siren song, set your feet. Reach down deep. Heft the axe of hope. Slam its love-hardened blade into your anger, your despair, your fear. If you do, the sun will blaze through the rend in the darkness, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Find Relief from Hidden Stress with Stillness

The knots in my gut are beginning to relax. 

Until I came to this quiet AirBnb in remote Skull Valley Arizona, I didn’t know they were there. The knots had been my companions for so long, they felt normal. 

It makes sense. In the last 18 months, my wife’s father died. I had my debut author year. Was rushed to the hospital by ambulance with excruciating pain in my abdomen. Published five books. Went on three national book tours. My mom spent months in ICUs before dying in hospice. My wife and I sold three properties, including our primary residence. Bought a new vehicle. Sold and donated virtually all our possessions. Became digital nomads, living in hotels, AirBnbs, and with friends and family. 

Skull Valley AZ

The depth and pace of stress and change, both thrilling and horrifying, have taken their toll. So as Lisa and I sit in a refurbished barn at the end of a three mile dirt road with nowhere to go, the twisted strands in my gut are loosening. I hadn’t realized how much I needed this.

I’m trying to lean into the silence. The stillness. The lack of busyness. To rest. To heal. To learn what God, the universe, my body, and my soul are trying to teach me.

Life has seasons. They come and go based on a mix of my own choices and factors completely beyond my control. In my confusion, laziness, and stress, I sometimes confuse the two. It often takes days like these to untangle the threads. I’m grateful for the opportunity. 

Skull Valley AZ

Do you have hidden (or not so hidden) stress? Take a moment to pause. Be still. Breathe deep. Gaze into your life. Reflect. Be honest about what you see. Hear the voices of yourself, the universe, your Higher Power. Learn the lessons they have to teach. If you do, you’ll find relief, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

I Don’t Like This Post Either

I don’t like this kind of post.

I follow different content providers for different reasons, but my motives are almost always self-focused—I want inspiration, information, and / or entertainment (and there’s nothing wrong with that). So when the people I follow pause their normal content to ask for support, I usually sigh. I shouldn’t, but I do. I’m working on it. These creators provide me with wonderful enrichment for little or no money. Why should I be bothered by them occasionally asking for support to help them continue to give me desirable content?

With full awareness of the irony, I’m hoping you feel the same way. For years, I’ve kept Becoming Yourself completely free with no ads, and I want to continue that way. But I do make my living as a writer. It’s how I pay the bills. If you’d like to support my writing while keeping Becoming Yourself free, here are some simple ways you can help:

1. BUY MY PUBLISHED BOOKS

I write a spooky monster mystery series called MONSTERIOUS. The books are short, can be read in any order, and are great for fans of Goosebumps, Scooby Doo, Stranger Things, and Five Nights at Freddy’s. While targeted for ages 8 to 12, they’re a good fit for anyone who enjoys a fast-paced, spooky thriller with lots of action, humor, and heart. They are available in all formats (paperback, hardcover, audiobook, e book) wherever you buy books. My fifth book, TRAPPED IN THE HORROR DOME, just came out this past Tuesday. For more info or to buy a book from your favorite retailer, click HERE.

2. SHARE MY RECENT POST ON INSTAGRAM AND / OR FACEBOOK

I recently posted a 50 second video of me talking about my latest book release. If you can like, comment, and best of all share this post, it would really help. Here is the INSTAGRAM post (you can easily share it to your story with the paper airplane icon). Here is the FACEBOOK post (you can easily share it to your page with the share button).

3. SIGN UP FOR MY AUTHOR NEWSLETTER (AND GET A FREE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY)

At the bottom of each page of my website MattMcMann.com, you can subscribe to my free monthly newsletter. It has info on my books, my travels, and my author appearances around the country. As a thank you, you’ll receive one of my free spooky short stories.

If you’re still reading this, I’m very grateful. If you do any of the above, especially purchasing my books, I’m incredibly grateful! I’ll be back next week with more personal development content. Thank you so much for helping me take another step toward Becoming Myself.

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