Growing up, I was convinced I had to be perfect. Impeccable grades. Never get in trouble. Don’t cause drama. Help everyone. The reasons I felt this way were a complicated mix of my personality, a misunderstanding of religious teaching, and our unique family dynamics.
Over the years, I’ve slowly unlearned that lie. Established healthier expectations. Given myself grace. Let myself be human. I still wrestle with perfectionism from time to time—I helped this person, but why didn’t I help that one too? I sold this many books, but why didn’t I sell more? I achieved this career goal, but why didn’t I achieve that one? I said something hurtful again—when will I learn?
Maybe that’s why the “You Are Amazing” message painted on the side of a building in our neighborhood jumped out at me. It has served as a healthy reminder, one that realigns my perspective and self-perception. I’m amazing? Really? Yes. I actually am.
Wherever you’re at right now, however you feel, whatever season you’re going through, remember this—you are amazing. You are incredibly valuable. You have great worth. Are you perfect? No. You’re human. But you are amazing, and with a little bit of intentionality and effort, you’ll become more amazing every day as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
As someone who has had a spiritual bent all my life, the supposed conflict between science and religion always puzzled me. How could religion ignore the clear evidence of science? How could science claim to be the sole source of truth? Both areas seemed to shed light on my search for answers to the big questions of life—who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going?
I view faith and reason as two sides of the same coin. To reject either is like shutting one eye while gazing at a beautiful sunset—you’re not getting the full picture.
This perspective was wonderfully summarized by author and teacher Richard Rohr in a recent Daily Meditation from his Center for Action and Contemplation. I hope it helps you on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.
RICHARD ROHR:
The common scientific method relies on hypothesis, experiment, trial, and error. We might call this “practice” or “practices”! Yes, much of science is limited to the materialistic level, but at least the method is more open-ended and sincere than that of the many religious people who do no living experiments with faith, hope, and love, but just hang on to quotes and doctrines.
Under normal circumstances, most scientists are willing to move forward with some degree of not-knowing; in fact, this is what calls them forward and motivates them. Every new discovery is affirmed while openness to new evidence that would tweak or even change the previous “belief” is maintained. In contrast, many religious people insist upon complete “knowing” at the beginning and being certain every step of the way. It actually keeps them more “rational,” “fact-based,” and controlling than the scientists. This is the dead end of most fundamentalist religion, and why it cannot deal with thorny issues in any creative or compassionate way. Law reigns and discernment is unnecessary.
The scientific mind has come up with what seem like beliefs: for example, explanations of dark matter, black holes, chaos theory, fractals (the part replicates the whole), string theory, dark energy, neutrinos (light inside of the entire universe even where it appears to be dark), and atomic theory itself. Scientists investigate and teach on things like electromagnetism, radioactivity, field theory, and various organisms such as viruses and bacteria before they can actually “prove” they exist. They know them first by their effects, or the evidence, and then work backward to verify their existence.
Even though the entire world has been captivated by the strict cause-and-effect worldview of Newtonian physics for several centuries, such immediately verifiable physics has finally yielded to quantum physics. While it isn’t directly visible to the ordinary observer, it ends up explaining much more—without needing to throw out the other. True transcendence always includes!
It feels as if there are some scientists of each age who are brilliant, seemingly “right,” but also tentative—which creates a practical humility that we often do not see in clergy and “true believers.” A great scientist builds on a perpetual “beginner’s mind.” Many scientists believe in the reality of things that are invisible, and thus the active reality of a “spiritual” world, more than do many believers. Thus, although they might be “materialists,” they actually have the material world defined with an openness to a “spirit” that they themselves often cannot understand. Is this not “faith”?
Maybe this is all summed up in these words of Saint John Paul II: “Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish.” [1] So let’s walk forward with wide and rich sight!
As shared in the Dec 3, 2024 Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation (cac.org). [1] John Paul II to George V. Coyne, SJ, Director of the Vatican Observatory, June 1, 1988. Adapted from Richard Rohr, introduction to ONEING 2, no. 2, Evidence (Fall 2014): 13–14. Available in print and PDF download.
I write this while sitting on a park bench, having just finished a ham and cheese baguette with hot chocolate. The Louvre art museum with its hoards of Saturday visitors are in the distance. I wandered the grounds earlier, but I had no desire to fight the crowds for a return trip inside.
The autumn afternoon is cool and gray, a welcome change from a summer spent baking in the Phoenix sunshine. A young man in a leather jacket sits on a bench to my left, reading a book. Further on, a girl rests her head on her father’s shoulder. Aside from the cawing of crows, the park is quiet, and I’m alone with my thoughts.
Me in the park as I write this post
My wife and I are intentional nomads, having no permanent address, living in different places for varying lengths of time. In the four months since our nomadic journey began, we’ve stayed in hotels, AirBnbs, with my dad, her sister, our daughter, and friends, including several pet sitting gigs.
Not always knowing where you’re going to lay your head is an odd feeling, but one we’re acclimating to. While we plan in advance, we’re trying not to lock ourselves in too much and lose the spontaneity this lifestyle affords.
Being natural planners, spontaneity is a challenge. As we sat eating our breakfast crepes this morning, Lisa remarked on how our walk to the cafe had been closer to a march than a stroll, more like a mission to be accomplished than a saunter to be savored.
I’m taking her observation to heart during my afternoon alone in Paris. I’ve been wandering in a general direction, then veering toward whatever catches my eye. So far it’s led me to walk along the Seine River, peruse art and magazines for sale on sidewalk carts, and to this lovely park. I grabbed lunch when I was hungry at a nearby food stand without dithering or checking its Yelp reviews.
The writing of this post is itself an act of spontaneity. I had no plans to do so, but finding myself in this beautiful, quiet place led me to take out my phone and start typing. Is it helpful? Is it interesting or worthwhile to anyone else? I can’t answer that. All I know is that it felt right. I followed the urge to write, and this is what came out.
So what’s my point in this missive? I’m not sure I have one. Maybe my example of spontaneity encourages you to be more spontaneous. Maybe my wife and I making the leap to live our nomadic dream gives you motivation to make a leap yourself. Maybe my reflections in a Parisian park inspire you to take time for your quiet pondering (you never know what may bubble up).
Whomever you are, whatever obstacles you face, wherever you’re at on your journey, be a little spontaneous. Take a leap toward living a dream. Do some quiet reflecting. If you do, you’ll find new color and a fresh breeze enter your life as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
