It’s so easy to worship the map.
Spiritual growth author Anthony de Mello once told a story about a man who lived in a small village. The man grew restless in the confines of the isolated hamlet, his eyes often wandering to the surrounding forests and distant mountains.
One day, he set off to explore the wider world. The man was gone for a long time. The timid people of the village assumed he was dead and were surprised when he unexpectedly returned.
They noticed that the man had changed. His limbs had grown wiry and strong, his face was tanned and hardened by the wind, and there was a bright gleam in his eyes. He shared wonderful tales from his travels, recounting amazing adventures and describing beautiful places.
The townspeople were fascinated and asked the man to draw them a map of where he’d been. He declined, urging them to go explore for themselves and find their own way as he did. They persisted, pestering the adventurer until he finally relented and drew them a map.
Instead of using it as a guide for their own journeys, the people framed the map, hung it on a wall, and worshipped it. They remained in their familiar village, continually retelling the stories of the adventurer, stories they never experienced for themselves.
It’s so easy to read about personal development. To listen to inspiring stories. To watch heart-swelling videos. To talk about everything you plan to do to become the person you want to be or to have the life you long for.
It’s so easy to worship the map.
But growth rarely happens from the couch. Meaningful victories are not won from the sidelines. If you want to become someone new, someone better, a more fulfilling version of yourself, if you want your life to align more closely with your dreams, then you must venture out from your comfortable village. Turn words into actions. Stride fearfully yet purposefully into the forest. Real growth happens in the wilderness.
Maybe your first step is hiring that personal trainer. Taking that class. Attending that religious service. Making that phone call. Start small, but with the confidence of knowing that every step you take brings you closer to that distant, beautiful mountain.
So prepare your pack. Invite a trusted companion and grab a walking stick. Pick a point on the horizon and set off. At times during the journey, like Bilbo, you’ll long for the comforts you left behind. Dangers and trials line the road. But so do wonders, adventures and realized dreams. Take the map off the wall and head into the glorious unknown. If you do, you’ll find a more vibrant, fulfilling life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
A recent hectic season reminded me of a story a story I originally posted Sept 29, 2018:
As I sat in a chair with a heat wrap on my back, I found myself thinking about my limitations – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. My back going out is an obvious example of a physical limitation and a hard one to ignore. But other limits aren’t so clear. I recently have been talking with someone close to me who has an extraordinary emotional capacity, but, in the face of ongoing difficult circumstances, has finally had to admit that he’s reached his emotional limits.
Seeing someone I respect so much reach that point reminded me that one sign of wisdom and maturity is having the willingness to say, “I can’t. I’ve reached my limit.” Far from being a sign of weakness, this shows the self-awareness and humility necessary for personal growth.
So how do you know the difference? When is saying, “Enough,” wisdom and when is it a cop out? How do you know when to step back and when to step up? There’s no perfect way to answer this question. It’s unique to every person and to each circumstance. That said, here are some questions to ask yourself that, if you answer with complete honesty, can help:
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So the next time you’re feeling at your limits, take some time to ask yourself these questions. Answer them honestly. Be courageously vulnerable. Accept help. Give yourself grace. Take action. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.