Developing a Better You

Tag: personal growth (Page 1 of 64)

The Mind-Expanding Power of Learning Other Worldviews

I’m still learning. 

I grew up with the belief that there was only one path to Truth and rightness with God—Christianity. I left that notion behind many years ago. While Christianity in its purest form (not the politicized and judgmental version often on display today) has much to offer a Truth seeker, so do many other worldviews.

One of the perspectives that I’m relatively ignorant of is the Sikh religion. I was fascinated to read a short overview of that faith in a recent Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation. Sikhism has a compelling origin story with tenants that align with the Wisdom Tradition that forms the foundation of the great faiths of the world—there is a Divine power in the universe. A spark of the Divine is within each of us. Developing our connection with the Divine is a worthwhile endeavor. Our separateness from the Divine, each other, and creation is an illusion as we are all a part of the whole. 

If you’re interested in a compelling example of a winsome worldview that is probably closer to your own than you realize, read on. If you do, you’ll broaden your mind as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

In an interview for the Daily Meditations, Sikh activist Valarie Kaur tells a brief story of Guru Nanak (1469–1539), founder of the Sikh faith: 

The story goes that every morning a man named Nanak sat by a river and meditated on the world and took the pain of the world into his heart until it crescendoed inside of him. One morning he did not return from the river. People thought him a dead man, a drowned man. The sun rose and the sun fell. The sun rose and the sun fell. And on the third day, a figure was spotted, seated in a cemetery covered in ash. It was Nanak, but not Nanak. He had been rebirthed in those waters and his first utterance was “Nako Hindu. Nako Musliman.” There is no Hindu. There is no Muslim. This was more than treat your neighbor as you would yourself. This was more than taking in the stranger. This was: There is no stranger. There is no you-against-me at all. We constitute each other. [1] 

Kaur describes how his followers transformed their culture:  

[Nanak] began to sing powerful mystical poetry, accompanied by a Muslim bard. For twenty-four years, Guru Nanak traveled in each of the cardinal directions on foot…. Everywhere he went, his songs held a vision that landed in people’s hearts: We can all taste the truth of Oneness, and when we do, we are inspired to care for one another, and fight for one another. Perhaps what was most powerful about Guru Nanak is how he distilled the mystical heart of all the world’s wisdom traditions into its essence: love. 

Guru Nanak’s followers were called Sikhs, seekers or students…. Sikhs believed that people of all castes, genders, faiths, races, and places were equal…. It was a radical experiment that rebelled against the caste hierarchy and feudal order of the era, a mysticism that inspired revolutionary social change…. The ideal archetype in the Sikh tradition became the sant sipahi: the sage warrior. [2] 

Kaur’s grandfather’s example shaped the trajectory of her work:  

My grandfather was the first sage warrior I knew…. Papa Ji tied his turban every day, clasped his hands behind his back, and surveyed the world through the eyes of wonder. When he listened to kirtan, sacred music, he closed his eyes and let the music resound wondrously within him; he wrote poetry in his garden….

As I fell asleep each night, Papa Ji would sing the Mool Mantr, the foundational verse that opens the Guru Granth Sahib, our sacred canon of musical wisdom. It begins with the utterance “Ik Onkar,” which means Oneness, ever-unfolding. “All of Sikh wisdom flows from here,” Papa Ji would say. All of us are part of the One. Separateness is an illusion: There is no essential separateness between you and me, you and other people, you and other species, or you and the trees. You can look at anyone or anything and say: You are a part of me I do not yet know. [3]  

As featured in the Jan 16, 2025 Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation (cac.org). [1] Adapted from Valarie Kaur, “Becoming a Sage Warrior,” Daily Meditations, October 28, 2024, Center for Action and Contemplation, video, 38:13.  [2] Valarie Kaur, Sage Warrior: Wake to Oneness, Practice Pleasure, Choose Courage, Become Victory (One World, 2024), xix, xx. [3] Kaur, Sage Warrior, xxi–xxii.  

How to Achieve Your Goals Using Reflection

I don’t like New Year’s Resolutions.

They tend to seem forced, make me feel guilty, and I usually fail at keeping them. That said, I’m dedicated to personal development and to carving out the life I really want. That requires reflection. If I don’t look back on where I’ve been, how will I know if I’m closer to where I want to go? 

The start of a new year lends itself to personal reflection. Here are some significant events that stood out as I ruminated on 2024:

1. My mom passed away after a bad fall that she couldn’t recover from.

2. I published two books, numbers four and five in my spooky middle grade monster mystery series MONSTERIOUS (Penguin Random House).

3. I went on two national book tours, appeared at three book festivals, and hung out with one of my literary heroes, Goosebumps author R L Stine.

4. I had two different book projects rejected, ones that I pitched to my editor as a follow up to MONSTERIOUS.

5. My wife Lisa and I sold three houses, most of our possessions, and transitioned to living nomadically.

6. We traveled to eight countries, taking our nomadic experiment international.

7. I shockingly became a USA Today best-selling author on Christmas Day when my first book hit the list a year and a half after its publication.

Here are some insights I gained from that reflection:

 1. I went through some hard things

The death of my mom, the gut-punch of multiple book rejections, the grind of selling three properties, and the difficult transition to nomadic living took a lot out of me physically and emotionally. I realized I need to rest, be kind to myself, and give myself grace.

 2. I accomplished a lot

In the busyness of daily living, significant accomplishments can quickly get lost. Listing them reminded me of how far I’ve come in my personal and professional life. When those victories arrive, I need to take time to celebrate them, something I’m not good at.

 3. I’m going in the right direction

I came into 2024 wanting to push my writing career forward, find freedom through nomadic living, travel, and spend more time with people I love. I was surprised to realize how much ground I’d gained on those goals this past year. It was a lot of hard work and intentionality, but the results are incredibly gratifying. My life now looks close to what I’d set out to make it. 

As you reflect on the past year, what significant milestones stand out? What do those markers say about your progress  toward your goals? Does your life more closely mirror your preferred vision for it than it did a year ago?

Ask yourself these hard questions. Be brutally honest. Give yourself grace for the hard things you’ve endured. Lavishly celebrate your accomplishments. Take comfort in the progress you’ve made. Course correct as needed. If you do, you’ll have a more meaningful and enjoyable life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Shocking Benefits of Not Giving Up on Your Dream

I was in utter shock.

On Christmas day, I got an email from a fellow author friend saying congratulations. I was confused—congratulations for what? Then I read on, seeing the words “USA Today” and a screenshot of my book cover with a number next to it. 

No. That wasn’t possible.

I quickly did an online search for the latest USA Today bestselling books list. There was my book. My book that came out a year and a half ago. Inexplicably, Escape from Grimstone Manor (Monsterious #1) was now a national bestseller.

Most people have heard of the New York Times bestseller list. The USA Today list is of a similar stature (some think it’s less prestigious, some think it’s more). The tough thing about hitting the NYT list is that there are only 10 slots per list per week, but there are multiple lists in a number of very specific categories (ex: one list for the week’s top selling middle grade fiction, another for picture books, another for young adult, various lists for non-fiction, etc.)

The weekly USA Today bestseller list has 150 slots, but it’s a single list for sales of ALL books in the country in all age categories—fiction, non-fiction, cookbooks, celebrity memoirs, self-help, adult, YA, middle grade, picture books, etc. My spooky middle grade book is on the same list as Cher’s memoir and Snoop Dog’s cookbook.

So why am I telling you this? 

A month ago, I wrote a post called “A Dream Derailed” (you can read it here) where I shared how I felt like my writing career had hit the skids. Disappointing book sales. Multiple rejections of proposed next projects. I wrote of how deflated and humbled I felt. But I also said that my dream of a sustained author career was worth fighting for, and I was going to keep struggling forward. 

I had NO idea that a mere four weeks later, I would be a USA Today bestselling author, something I never thought I’d accomplish in my lifetime. (BONUS: If you want to see me blathering incoherently in my shock, check out my Instagram reel here.)

How’s the journey toward your dream going? Are you driving over a teeth-rattling string of potholes? Does the bridge ahead appear washed away? If so, pause. Take a cleansing breath. Acknowledge the pain, the disappointment, the frustration, the exhaustion. Then ask yourself this question—is your dream still worth it? Even if you fail? Will all the blood, sweat, and tears be worthwhile?

As you ponder that question, remember that often the journey is the destination. That it’s less about what you achieve and more about who you become along the way.

Dreams are not for the faint of heart. They aren’t guaranteed. You may never reach your promised land. But dreams make life worth living. Choose a worthy one. Create a plan. Take the first step, then the next. When you fall, get back up and keep moving. If you do, an unexpected breakthrough may be just around the corner as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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