Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Tag: personal growth (Page 1 of 66)

The Intersection of Beauty and Despair

April 19, 2025 / / 0 Comments

It was a captivating sight. 

Our cruise ship slowly glided beneath Golden Gate Bridge on approach to San Francisco. I stood on our cabin balcony taking in magnificence of it. The massive size. The soaring architecture. The marvel of engineering. 

Then I saw them. Wide nets ran the length of the bridge on both sides. I was confused for a moment before it hit me—they were to catch people attempting to jump from the bridge and end their lives. 

The juxtaposition was jarring. A stirring monument boasting a concession to grim reality. An intersection of beauty and despair.

The nets on the Golden Gate Bridge serve as an apt symbol of life. How often in my own experience have beauty and despair met? The passing of my mother. My grown kids leaving home. Ending a much-loved career. Saying goodbye to a dear friend. Some of my most poignant moments were a melding of the bitter and the sweet.

I tend to avoid those intersections when I can. The starkness of the contrast makes me uncomfortable. But when they inevitably come, I’ve learned to lean in. Embrace the contradiction. The intensity. The whirl of emotions. Because it’s in this crucible that personal growth flourishes. The false fronts I’ve fashioned around my True Self are stripped away. The process is like its catalyst, both healing and painful.

When you come to the intersection of beauty and despair in your life, stand fast. Meet the moment with head high and heart open. Hold the opposing forces close. Embrace the lessons these liminal spaces have to give. If you do, you’ll know a deeper life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Finding Stability in Turbulent Times

April 12, 2025 / / 0 Comments

It was an impressive sight.

The howling wind whipped the Pacific into a roiling mass of white-capped waves, sending our cruise ship lurching. Despite the warm temperature, I sat on our balcony wrapped in a coat to shield myself from the ocean spray and took in Nature’s powerful display.

The water’s ever-shifting surface seemed an apt analogy for the world today. Crashing financial markets. Natural disasters fueled by climate change. Political division. Social unrest. It feels like the world itself is moving beneath our feet.

It’s normal for humans to crave a certain level of security. Where do we look for stability, for solid ground, for a steady place to plant our feet? There are many options—our careers, our physical health, our social status, our relationships, our wealth, our hobbies. But if the current state of the world shows us anything, it’s that all of those things are changeable. Jobs are lost to downsizing or retirement. Finances decline. Societal tastes change. Loved ones leave us. Unexpected illnesses strike.

One of the unique aspects of faith is that it attempts to provide a more stable option for security in life, one that is not at the mercy of the winds of fate. Does that make the claims of faith true? Not at all. Is it possible to prove a Higher Power exists? No. While there are rational arguments for the existence of God (like the existence of the universe, the fine-tuning of the universe, the existence of moral law, along with their counter arguments), none of them are conclusive.

Yet I believe. I’m a person of faith based on a combination of intellectual arguments that I find compelling and a lifetime of subjective personal experiences. My personal beliefs have evolved far beyond my evangelical Christian upbringing to embrace the validity of other religions, people from every creed, orientation, and gender identity, and to reject the existence of hell. I believe we all were born of God’s love, live in God’s love, and will return to God’s love at death, belief not required.

Are there problems with my faith system? Absolutely. Are there short-comings with every other worldview? Yes. In a sea of imperfect choices, my faith is where I find my ultimate security, my stable foundation in an unstable world. Is everything I believe true? I don’t know. I could be wrong. But it gives me a level of hope, peace, love, meaning and security that I haven’t found anywhere else. That gives me comfort in stormy seas.

Where do you find your security? I’m in no way saying it needs to resemble mine. Consider your options. Find something that works for you. Choose well. Place your trust in something worthy of the incredible person you are. If you do, you’ll find stability in turbulent times, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Find Peace with Let Them Come, Let Them Be, Let Them Go

April 5, 2025 / / 0 Comments

Something about this quote caught my heart:

Let them come, let them be, let them go.

culadasa

It stirred a longing, a wistful feeling, a thinly veiled desire. It rang true. But what does it mean? 

One of the strengths of this quote is that it’s open to interpretation. Different people can find different meanings. For me, I realized it outlines a peaceful life, free from the fear of what may come, of what I’ll experience, and of what I might lose. I long for a life like that, to know that kind of relief and freedom on a daily basis. 

So how can I become a peaceful, mature, content person who lets things come, be and go? How can I live with open hands?

Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

I need to embrace new ideas, new people, and new experiences. I must let them come, even when they challenge my comfort zone and my established thinking. And once they are there, I must let them be, appreciating and enjoying them for who and what they are without feeling the need to change them. I need to be open to what they have to teach. At the same time, I must be willing to let them go when they have run their course, served their purpose, finished their season (you can read my post on when to let go of a relationship here).

Most of us naturally struggle with some of these traits while gravitating toward others. As a routine-loving person with a slightly timid nature, I struggle to let them come. Diving into new experiences is scary for me. I’d also put let them go in the growth edge column. I tend to take too long to realize a once-cherished routine, activity or relationship has run its course. On the plus side, I’m usually comfortable with let them be. 

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Which of these three ways of living comes easiest to you? Which is your biggest struggle? What are you resisting allowing to come into your life? What’s already in your life that you feel the unnecessary need to “fix”? What are you struggling to let go of? Breath deep. Be honest. Open your metaphorical hands to people, ideas and experiences. Let them come. Let them be. Let them go. If you do, you’ll find greater peace and contentment, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published May 7, 2022.

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