Developing a Better You

Tag: personal growth (Page 12 of 62)

A Better Way to Approach Life

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.

lao tzu

That quote is not me. 

Plans. Lists. Schedules. That’s my style. 

But something about the perspective in that quote almost took my breath away. The freedom. The ease. The spontaneity. It sounds so appealing. 

That’s especially true right now. I just finished writing the fifth book in my Monsterious series on a tight deadline. I’m in the middle of an ambitious tour season with dozens of school and bookstore appearances in five states along with various interviews. My itineraries are ten pages long. Everything feels planned. While that’s a necessary part of my job, it highlights the appeal of lightly planned travel with a focus on the journey, not the destination. 

I’ve scheduled some serious downtime for November to live out this quote in an intentional way. While that’s a good thing, I believe “time off” is only half of what the quote is trying to teach. The real life-changing power of this perspective is not only to apply it in dedicated blocks of time, but to adopt it into my everyday life. Even while following detailed itineraries. 

I’m going to try my best over these next six weeks to travel lightly, keeping my mental and emotional baggage to carryon size. I’m sure I’ll fall short many times under the weariness and stress of the tour, but, as with all of my attempts at personal development, the effort itself is a victory. As C. S. Lewis wrote, “If the will to walk is there, God is pleased even with our stumbling.”

On your life’s journey, set aside time for unhurried, floating travel. Begin to shift your daily perspective to this more fluid and flexible state. If you do, you’ll experience lower stress and greater peace, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Remember: You Are Amazing

I can be pretty hard on myself.

Growing up, I was convinced I had to be perfect. Impeccable grades. Never get in trouble. Don’t cause drama. Help everyone. The reasons I felt this way were a complicated mix of my personality, a misunderstanding of religious teaching, and our unique family dynamics.

Over the years, I’ve slowly unlearned that lie. Established healthier expectations. Given myself grace. Let myself be human. I still wrestle with perfectionism from time to time—I helped this person, but why didn’t I help that one too? I sold this many books, but why didn’t I sell more? I achieved this career goal, but why didn’t I achieve that one? I said something hurtful again—when will I learn?

Maybe that’s why the “You Are Amazing” message painted on the side of a building in our neighborhood jumped out at me. It has served as a healthy reminder, one that realigns my perspective and self-perception. I’m amazing? Really? Yes. I actually am.

Wherever you’re at right now, however you feel, whatever season you’re going through, remember this—you are amazing. You are incredibly valuable. You have great worth. Are you perfect? No. You’re human. But you are amazing, and with a little bit of intentionality and effort, you’ll become more amazing every day as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Important Difference Between Talents and Gifts

What is the difference between a talent and a gift?

I’d never clearly thought about the distinction, but the following excerpt from author and speaker Henri Nouwen resonates with me. It’s also incredibly encouraging. So often, I feel like my talents fail me or aren’t enough to meet a need or accomplish a goal. Knowing in those moments that I still have gifts to bring is gratifying.

This concept also opens my eyes to the value and contributions of others that I often overlook. I hope this simple yet profound idea helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

More important than our talents are our gifts. We may have only a few talents, but we have many gifts. Our gifts are the many ways in which we express our humanity. They are part of who we are: friendship, kindness, patience, joy, peace, forgiveness, gentleness, love, hope, trust, and many others. These are the true gifts we have to offer to each other.

Somehow I have known this for a long time, especially through my personal experience of the enormous healing power of these gifts. But since my coming to live in a community with mentally handicapped people, I have rediscovered this simple truth. Few, if any, of those people have talents they can boast of. Few are able to make contributions to our society that allow them to earn money, compete on the open market, or win awards. But how splendid are their gifts!

henri nouwen

As featured in the Aug 17, 2023 Daily Meditation from The Henri Nouwen Society. Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books

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