Developing a Better You

Tag: personal growth (Page 15 of 65)

Why I Love Cemeteries

I’m tired.

For most of the last six weeks, I’ve traveled the U.S. on book tour, talking with people about writing and my Monsterious series. I’ve done a steady stream of stock signings, interviews, school presentations, and bookstore events. It’s been exciting, frustrating, fun, exhausting, and deeply fulfilling.

At the end of it all, I feel empty. Drained. In need of quiet, rest, and reflection. When I realized I didn’t have the time or the energy to write a new post this week, I waded through some of the hundreds of posts I’ve written over the last six years. The one I’m reposting below (originally published March 3, 2018) spoke to me, maybe because the thought of lying down for a long time sounds very appealing right now. I hope it helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Why I Love Cemeteries: Cemetery

I love cemeteries. That might sound odd, even morbid. I’m not insensitive to the memories of pain and loss that they hold for so many. I deeply respect that. But to me, they are special places that nurture my personal development in ways few others do.

Cemeteries invite quiet reflection. They encourage me to slow down, to ponder, to contemplate. What do I want my life to be about? How do I want to be remembered? They have an atmosphere of reverence and respect, rare qualities in a time often marked by derision and divisiveness. A stroll through a cemetery reminds me of what I believe is important: Relationships. Character. Purpose. Joie de vivre.

Why I Love Cemeteries: Cemetery

I love how my perspective is sharpened by reading tombstones. I’m reminded that all of these people were once like me. That one day a grave marker will bear my name. Soon after, I’ll probably be remembered only by loved ones and then, over time, by no one at all. Reading those names reminds me that life is a breath, and I am small. I’m not as important to the world as I sometimes think I am. That’s a healthy dose of humility.

Why I Love Cemeteries: Cemetery

Yet being in a cemetery also makes me feel cherished, prized, special. Not to a fame infatuated world but to One whom I believe made me, knows me, and desires me. I think of a cemetery as a transition point, a way station, a gate that leads from one season to the next. It’s a passageway connecting one plane of existence to another. The end of one journey and the start of a far greater adventure.

Why I Love Cemeteries: Cemetery

I could be wrong. Maybe death is the end. Perhaps nothing waits for me and everything that I am will be snuffed out like the flame of a candle. But I don’t think so. I have subjective reasons, things I’ve felt and heard and seen that point to something greater, something beyond this life. And there are more objective arguments that appeal to my rational mind as well. So for reasons of both the head and the heart, I believe and find hope.

Why I Love Cemeteries: Cemetery

So if you need some perspective on life, if the thought of some quiet reflection sounds like water for your thirsty soul, if you’re looking for a little hope, I encourage you to slip away for an hour. Stroll thoughtfully through a cemetery. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Looking for Passion and Joy? Find Inspiring People

“Can you guess what this is?”

Ralph wore an infectious grin. He owns the charming Homestead B&B where my wife and I recently stayed. I examined the thimble-sized white container he held out to me, then gave up in confusion.

“It’s a regular styrofoam coffee cup,” he said. “I tied it to the outside of the submarine James Cameron took down to explore the Titanic. The water pressure shrunk it perfectly.”

For thirty years, Ralph has been in the television production business, filming everything from a Titanic documentary, to a lavish event by the royal family of Dubai, to John Travolta’s fiftieth birthday party. He talked animatedly about his work, his fascinating collection of treasures at his B&B, and his twin grandkids. He exuded passion and joy.

Ralph’s thimble-sized coffee cup

“Come look at this!”

Philip, owner of the Savvy Tea Gourmet, led me to a beat up cardboard box covered with international shipping labels. “This just arrived from Nepal. It’s an amazing tea that grows a mile high in the Himalayan Mountains.”

He gave me a tour of his shop, encouraging me to smell and sample a variety of unique teas from around the world. After enthusiastically sharing the mental and physical benefits of each type, he said, “Beyond that, drinking these teas is just a really enjoyable experience. Isn’t that what it’s about?” He exuded passion and joy.

“What brings you joy?”

Melissa posed the question to my author wife Lisa McMann during a Joyful Learning podcast interview. In addition to being a podcaster, Melissa is a school librarian, a champion of kids books, and a maker of a variety of delightful cloth items. Her “maker’s space” screamed creativity, and her eyes glowed with excitement as she talked about her various interests. She exuded passion and joy.  

My wife Lisa McMann being interviewed by Melissa Thom in her maker’s space

As I walked away from each of these amazing people, I found myself recharged, motivated and inspired. Their dedication to their passions made me want to rededicate myself to mine. Their vibrant enthusiasm for life made me want to develop that characteristic more deeply in myself.

How about you? Could you use more passion and joy? Find passionate, joyful people. Spend time with them. Ask questions. Listen to their stories. You just may find a joyful wind blowing through your own life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published July 30, 2022.

A Better Way to Approach Life

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.

lao tzu

That quote is not me. 

Plans. Lists. Schedules. That’s my style. 

But something about the perspective in that quote almost took my breath away. The freedom. The ease. The spontaneity. It sounds so appealing. 

That’s especially true right now. I just finished writing the fifth book in my Monsterious series on a tight deadline. I’m in the middle of an ambitious tour season with dozens of school and bookstore appearances in five states along with various interviews. My itineraries are ten pages long. Everything feels planned. While that’s a necessary part of my job, it highlights the appeal of lightly planned travel with a focus on the journey, not the destination. 

I’ve scheduled some serious downtime for November to live out this quote in an intentional way. While that’s a good thing, I believe “time off” is only half of what the quote is trying to teach. The real life-changing power of this perspective is not only to apply it in dedicated blocks of time, but to adopt it into my everyday life. Even while following detailed itineraries. 

I’m going to try my best over these next six weeks to travel lightly, keeping my mental and emotional baggage to carryon size. I’m sure I’ll fall short many times under the weariness and stress of the tour, but, as with all of my attempts at personal development, the effort itself is a victory. As C. S. Lewis wrote, “If the will to walk is there, God is pleased even with our stumbling.”

On your life’s journey, set aside time for unhurried, floating travel. Begin to shift your daily perspective to this more fluid and flexible state. If you do, you’ll experience lower stress and greater peace, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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