Developing a Better You

Tag: personal growth (Page 19 of 62)

The Surprising Benefits of Silence

Silence.

What adjectives come to mind when you read that word? Relaxing? Boring? Wonderful? Scary?

Silence is a surprisingly complex thing. It can be intimidating, yet it offers many benefits such as anxiety reduction, mental clarity, increased creativity, and a deeper connection to self. Intentional silence has been a regular practice of mine for many years, and has become a foundational part of my mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Here’s what renowned author and Harvard professor Henri Nouwen wrote about silence:

At first silence might only frighten us. In silence we start hearing voices of darkness: our jealousy and anger, our resentment and desire for revenge, our lust and greed, and our pain over losses, abuses, and rejections. These voices are often noisy and boisterous. They may even deafen us. Our most spontaneous reaction is to run away from them and return to our entertainment.

But if we have the discipline to stay put and not let these dark voices intimidate us, they will gradually lose their strength and recede into the background, creating space for the softer, gentler voices of the light.

These voices speak of peace, kindness, gentleness, goodness, joy, hope, forgiveness, and most of all, love. They might at first seem small and insignificant, and we may have a hard time trusting them. However, they are very persistent and they will be stronger if we keep listening. They come from a very deep place and from very far. They have been speaking to us since before we were born, and they reveal to us that there is no darkness in the One who sent us into the world, only light. They are part of God’s voice calling us from all eternity: “My beloved child, my favorite one, my joy.”

henri nouwen

What is your relationship with silence? Do you yearn for it or run from it? Start small. Find a quiet place. Mute your phone. Find a calming view. Sit for three minutes. See what comes to your mind and how the experience affects your body. Experiment with longer sessions, with your eyes closed, with different locations, with repeating a focus word or phrase, or having a peaceful mental image. Use a mediation timer like the Calm app or, for those with a Christian spiritually bent, the One Minute Pause app. If you do, you’ll find the benefits quick in coming, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books. Excerpt published in Nov 24, 2022 daily meditation from The Henri Nouwen Society.

The Life-Changing Power of Choosing Gratitude

Simple wisdom is often the best.

When I read the words of Lakota author and activist Doug Good Feather, I was struck not by their originality but by their poetic clarity. His insights on choosing gratitude felt fresh and compelling, reminding me of the transformative power that single decision can have on my life and the lives of those around me.

Let his words encourage you to make gratitude an intentional habit. If you do, you’ll enjoy a sweeter life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Each and every morning offers us a chance to start anew, fresh, and to begin again. Each morning when we wake—should we choose to listen—is a message from the Creator to remember the privilege we were given of waking up. It’s a reminder to get up and prepare our self, to honor our self, to go out into the world, to connect with Mother Earth and the hearts of other beings, to inspire and encourage those who cross our paths, and most importantly, to enjoy life…

Gratitude moves stagnant energy when we’re feeling stuck in life. The simple act of practicing gratitude disrupts negative thoughts and changes our mindset to see the world in a positive way. Not only are we more attractive to others when we live in gratitude, but the most ordinary things can become extraordinary, creating a fuller, more beautiful expression of our life.

doug good feather, think indigenous: Native American spirituality for a modern world

Doug Good Feather, Think Indigenous: Native American Spirituality for a Modern World, transcribed by Doug Red Hail Pineda(Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2021), 27, 30, 31. As posted in the Nov 22, 2022 Daily Meditation by the Center for Action and Contemplation cac.org.

How a Surprise Question Gave Me a Great Gift

“Would you read this story to me?”

I was walking through the cafe in a Barnes and Noble bookstore during one of my wife Lisa McMann‘s recent book signings. An adult young woman sat at a table with whom I assume was her mother. When I smiled at them, the young woman pointed to the picture book in front of her and asked, “Would you read this story to me?” 

I was tempted to laugh awkwardly, nod to the woman’s mother, and continue walking. I mean, who reads a picture book to an adult stranger in the middle of a busy cafe? Not to mention that I’m normally too caught up in my busy schedule to even consider such a request, subconsciously absorbed in my own exaggerated self-importance.

But for some reason, I paused and leaned down to look at the book. I pointed to the first word, “For,” and asked the young woman if she could read it. She said no, and given her child-like manner of speaking, I guessed she was neurodivergent. Her mother murmured something in Spanish that I didn’t understand. 

I began to read. It was the story of the birth of Jesus set to T’was the Night Before Christmas. The young woman listened with rapt attention, eagerly turning the beautifully illustrated pages. 

As I read, I wondered what her mother’s life was like. Raising a dependent neurodivergent adult must bring challenges and joys that I can only imagine. When we reached the moment in the story where the angels appeared to the shepherds, I felt that the two women beside me were closer to angels than I’ll ever be. 

As the familiar words of hope, belonging, and ultimate love fell from my lips, I felt our perceived differences of gender, age, race, and neurological functioning fade away. For one sacred moment, I saw the truth—we were simply three wonderful, needy people, deeply loved by God and longing to be accepted.

When I finished the story, we exchanged farewells, and I walked away feeling like those women had given given me a far greater gift than I’d given them. 

Chance opportunities to deeply connect with others are all around us. How many have I missed, too caught up in my own fears, hopes, desires, and plans? God, help me walk through life with open eyes and an open heart. 

As you go through this holiday season, lift your head. Really see those around you. Pause. Be kind. Smile. Encourage. Remember and celebrate our shared humanity. If you do, you’ll find you receive more than you give, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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