Developing a Better You

Tag: personal growth (Page 26 of 62)

Feeling Crushed by the Weight of the World? Choose to Be Amazed

Living in these turbulent times is difficult. A global pandemic. Economic downturn. Political division. Racial injustice. Social unrest. The collective pressure of these external stressors can feel like concrete blocks on our shoulders that we can’t seem to drop.

One simple technique that has helped me slip out from under the weight of the world is shifting my attention from the macro to the micro. Intentionally tuning in to the small and everyday instead of the huge and glaring. I’m not talking about turning a blind eye to the problems we collectively face or ignoring the responsibility to do my part to help solve them. I’m talking about balancing that view with a renewed focus on the wonder of commonplace things.

The sweet warmth of my morning tea. The beautiful deep green color of our corner houseplant. The comfortable feeling of sliding into my well-worn slippers. The way the painting on our living room wall glows in the afternoon sun. The playfulness in my wife’s smile. The mind-boggling complexity of my hand. The taste of cherry pie. Opening my mind to the simple wonders around me provides a welcome counterbalance to the heaviness of the world. It brings wholeness to my perspective.

The celebrated philosopher and theologian Abraham Joshua Heschel said it better than I ever could:

“Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement… get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.”

abraham joshua heschel

I make this practice part of my daily routine. In the mornings, I slip out to our balcony and spend some time in meditation, prayer, and reading. Often I’ll start by intentionally noticing a few simple things around me and letting myself be gratefully amazed by them. Before bed, I’m back on the balcony, remembering the commonplace wonders I encountered throughout the day. This simple habit is usually enough to help me begin each day with a positive attitude and end it with a healthy realignment of my perspective.

What are the everyday wonders around you? When you pause for a moment to look, what catches your eye? What awakens amazement in you? As you learn to see life with simple awe, you’ll feel the weight of the world begin to slip from your shoulders, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published in July of 2020.

Need Motivation? Remember Personal Development isn’t Just Personal

Sometimes I forget that personal development isn’t just personal.

While becoming a better emotional and spiritual version of myself certainly benefits me, it also has a ripple effect. Everyone I interact with, from my closest friends and family to the checkout clerk I meet at the grocery store, is impacted by who I am and who I’m becoming.

I’m not saying I can make anyone grow or change. That power lies with each of us alone. And like you, I’m bombarded on a daily basis by bad examples of how to be human. But my personal development efforts can help me set a good example of what a healthy, growing human can look like. Though wildly imperfect, I can still be a useful guide for others to follow, as so many have done for me.

When I’m tempted to slack off on a personal development habit, be it better eating/sleeping/exercising, volunteering, nurturing meaningful relationships, spending time in prayer and meditation or sharpening my mind, I remind myself of this quote:

Be the reason someone believes in the goodness of people.

karen salmansohn

Remembering that my personal development journey is for the good of others as well as for myself often gives me the motivation I need to keep going.

So how about you? What kind of example are you setting for those around you? When people look at your life, are they inspired to become better versions of themselves? Do your words, actions, attitudes, behavior and how you spend your time, money and energy leave people discouraged by humanity or filled with hope at what an intentional person can be?

Your life gives off ripples. Everyone around you is effected. Choose simple, healthy habits for your heart, mind, body and spirit. Work them into your routine. Ask others to keep you accountable. Remember the quote above. If you do, you’ll not only enjoy a more peaceful, energized and fulfilling life, but you’ll help others do the same. And you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

4 Elements that Explain Your Past and Determine Your Future

I’ve been looking in the proverbial mirror lately and asking:

Who am I, and what makes me, me?

I think there are four main elements that explain how I got where I am and provide a roadmap for who I want to become:

1. Nature

My personality. Temperament. Basic physical traits. Talents. Inclinations. Areas of giftedness. My hardwiring. Who I was from day one without my choice or ability to change. 

2. Nurture

How I was raised. What I was taught. How I was treated. What was modeled for me. Who I was told I was. Again, this was not my choice and was beyond my control. Good or bad, I can’t change how I was nurtured. 

3. Experiences

What has happened to me. Good and bad things that were thrust upon me. Things I willingly sought out. Unexpected opportunities I seized. People, places, situations and other perspectives I’ve encountered.

4. Responses

How I have chosen or am choosing to react to every experience I’ve had. When bad experiences are forced upon me, do I cling to a victim mentality or do I seek the help I need to grow, forgive and move on? When I’m exposed to another worldview, do I retreat to my comfortable preconceptions, or am I open to allowing my convictions to change? Healthy responses aren’t easy, but am I doing my best to choose them in every situation? Am I developing the skills and stamina I need to improve my reactions?

These four components have been major building blocks in forming who I am. They light the path to who I want to be. The only things that are truly in my control are the experiences I seek and how I choose to respond to ALL of my experiences, past, present and future.

So who are you really? Look back on your life. What is your nature? How were you nurtured? What experiences were forced upon you? Don’t beat yourself up over things beyond your control, but choose to address them in a healthy way. What experiences did you seek out? What unexpected opportunities have you seized? Acknowledge the impact of your choices, both positive and negative. Search for new experiences with growth potential. Choose mindfully how you respond to all your experiences. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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