Developing a Better You

Tag: personal growth (Page 31 of 62)

Find Meaning in Your Pain with a Broken Window

During a recent road trip, I was walking the back stairwell of our hotel when this window caught my eye.

Either by accident or with intent, something had hit the window hard enough to break it, but not enough to make it collapse. At first, I thought it was a shame that this lovely window had been disfigured.

But then I looked closer. The intricate pattern of cracks was actually really interesting. Beautiful even. The wandering lines created a thousand individual pieces that formed one unique whole, like an uncolored stained glass window. It was not what it had been—the impact had changed it into something new.

That got me thinking about my own life. When an unexpected event, accident or tragedy comes along, my first reaction is often despair. This is not what I wanted. I see a hassle, a mistake, a broken dream. The beautiful life picture I’d imagined is now covered with cracks. Without my consent, my plan has been changed. I’ve been changed.

But on a closer look, usually after some time has passed, I often see something else. Something good. While they are not what I would have chosen, my scars tell a powerful story. Make a beautiful pattern. If I let them, they make me wiser, kinder, more compassionate. They allow me to understand, connect with and help others who have had their lives broken too.

So when life throws a rock against your heart’s window, nurse your wounds. Allow yourself to grieve. Say a grateful goodbye to the you that was. Then look deeper. See the beauty in your scars. Allow them to make you better instead of bitter. Let them show, and share your story. Reach out to those who find themselves similarly broken. If you do, you’ll find meaning in your pain and take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Choose Your Post-Pandemic Life Well

Covid-19 has been a thief.

It has stolen precious lives, careers, businesses, dreams, and experiences.

But it has also given a rare gift.

As vaccinations allow us to slowly return to some degree of normalcy, we have a unique opportunity to choose our post-pandemic lives. After all the stripping away, we can thoughtfully and intentionally decide what we reintroduce into our lives. Rather than running blindly back to our pre-pandemic schedules, routines, and commitments, pause. Consider what the last year of disruption and isolation has taught you about yourself. Who are you really? What are you truly passionate about? What do you actually miss?

These opportunities don’t come along too often, at least not with this level of clarity. Examine your relationships, your hobbies, your commitments, your work. Is there an unhealthy friendship you could choose not to renew? If you enjoyed working from home, could you continue even when the office life returns? Is there a former board, a committee, or an organization that needs to stay in your past? Have you found a new hobby or passion area during the pandemic that you need to save space for moving forward?

In our eagerness to reengage with the world, it will be easy to fill our schedules. Remember that saying yes to one thing often means saying no to everything else. Choose wisely. The coronavirus has taken so much away—seize the rare opportunity it has given to rebuild a better life, schedule, calendar, routine, and relational world. One that’s life-giving. More true to who you really are. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

How to Get Back to “Normal”: Be Kind to Yourself

I hate admitting I’m weak.

Now that I am fully vaccinated, I’ve started reintroducing some normal activities that I’d put on pause during the COVID-19 pandemic – eating in restaurants, getting together with vaccinated friends, volunteering, going to the doctor and dentist, etc. It feels wonderful to engage with the world again.

It also feels exhausting. I find myself physically and emotionally drained after coming home from simple activities that I breezed through in the past. I’ve had to face the reality that extended time in isolation has left my “social engagement muscles” weak and atrophied. I’m simply not used to the crowds and stimulation.

After being so eager for so long to do exactly what I’m doing, that’s a hard admission for me. I don’t want to be that way. But I am. Like an athlete coming back from an injury, it’s going to take some time for me to rebuild the stamina that I’ve lost.

I’m working on giving myself time. Grace. Patience. It took awhile to get to this point, and it will take awhile to return from it. But it will come. My strength will return. In the meantime, the best thing I can do is be kind to myself.

So how about you? As the world shifts slowly back toward a degree of normalcy, how are you feeling? How have you changed? Whatever your answer to those questions, it’s okay. This last year has been unlike anything most of us have ever faced. None of us are coming out unscathed. We all need to heal and rebuild our strength in one way or another. Give yourself time and grace. Be kind to yourself and to others, who are likely in the same boat. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

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