Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Tag: personal growth (Page 33 of 62)

3 Metaphors for Healthy Spirituality (Part 1): An Introduction

February 13, 2021 / / 2 Comments

This one’s tricky.

My spirituality is incredibly important to me. I’ve worked steadily at developing it for forty-one years (I mark my start at age ten). It provides a solid foundation for every aspect of my life, and brings me peace, meaning, joy, love, adventure, comfort, guidance, hope, and my deepest sense of identity.

But…

I have readers from across the spiritual spectrum, from those who identify as very spiritual to those who’d say they aren’t spiritual at all. Of those who are spiritual, there is a wide variety of religions and spiritual paths represented. And I respect that. A lot.

So while I love sharing what I’ve learned on my own spiritual journey in hopes that some may find it helpful, I want to tread very lightly. This is simply my experience. Even now, what I believe continues to evolve as I encounter more of life and pursue the Great Spiritual Mystery. (And it is a mystery. If you’re too sure of your answers, that could be a sign that your Spiritual Truth Box is too small.)

My spiritual worldview has been developed over decades. It’s very freeing and helpful to me. But that doesn’t mean it’s right for you. My hope is simply that what I share shines a little light on your own path, whatever that may be. Take what’s useful, and toss the rest.

In this series of posts, I’m going to share three metaphors I learned from author and teacher Richard Rohr that have been extremely helpful to me in recent years – The Cosmic Egg, The Three Boxes, and The Tricycle. They provide simple but powerful frameworks for spiritual and personal growth. Ways to understand and navigate some of life’s most confusing seasons. Methods for getting unstuck on the journey to our best selves.

One of the many things I love about these metaphors is that they work for almost everyone, regardless of where you’re at on the spiritual spectrum. They align with nearly every religion or spiritual perspective, and even with most perspectives that don’t include spirituality at all.

Next week, I’ll tell the story of my own recent spiritual struggles. In the following weeks, I’ll share the three metaphors that helped guide me through that difficult season. I hope you’ll join me on this journey. If you do, I think you’ll discover some very helpful tools along the way, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Personal Growth Exercise You’ll LOVE Doing: Fill Your Life With Beauty

January 23, 2021 / / 0 Comments

I was crying over the TV show Britain’s Got Talent. For those who know me that will come as no great surprise. I’m a sentimental sap. But from a pure talent perspective, the performance that turned on the water works was pretty poor. So why was I crying? Why was the audience going wild? Why did one of the normally stoic British judges break down and weep? Take a look for yourself…

Did that strike you the way it has so many others? I think the secret of this performance’s impact lies in this quote:

There are only two things that pierce the human heart. One is beauty. The other is affliction.

SImone Weil

We human beings are emotional creatures. We’re made to feel deeply. But the pressure and drudgery of daily living often flattens our “emotional experience” curves into a relatively narrow range. Bright colors fade to neutrals. Uncontrollable laughter becomes a bemused smile. Deep heartache becomes an ongoing sense of mild disappointment.

As Simone Weil observed, two things that can wrench the emotional limiters from our hearts are beauty and affliction. Affliction tends to come along with enough regularity on its own and, while it does tap into our deeper emotions, not many of us would choose to seek it out. So that leaves us with beauty.

Simply put, we need it. A lot of it. To experience the fullness of life that I believe we are meant for, we need heaps of beauty to compensate for the affliction that life brings our way. It needs to be planned for, worked at, chased after. The enjoyment of beauty must be prioritized, budgeted, and indulged in.

Author John Eldredge notes the uniqueness of beauty:

We need not fear indulging here. The experience of beauty is unique to all the other pleasures in this: there is no possessive quality to it. Just because you love the landscape doesn’t mean you have to acquire the real estate. Simply to behold the flower is enough; there is nothing in me that wants to consume it. Beauty is the closest thing we have to fullness without possessing on this side of eternity. It heralds the Great Restoration. Perhaps that is why it is so healing—beauty is pure gift. It helps us in our letting go.

John eldredge, “The journey of desire: searching for the life you’ve always dreamed of”

I think that’s why I was crying over a mediocre performance by a group of elementary children. Their sense of abandonment was inspiring. Their unbridled joy was contagious. Their teacher’s pride in and commitment to his students was moving. It all touched something deep inside of me that whispered, “This is how life is meant to be.” And in that, it was beautiful.

So how will you experience beauty today? Wander a park, stroll an art gallery, savor a gourmet meal, see a play, listen to music you love, read a great book, watch an artfully made film, have a deep conversation with a friend. Embrace beauty. Drink it in. Open your eyes, mind, and heart to beauty in her many forms. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published in May of 2019.

Pursuing Joy with a ‘Focus Word’

January 9, 2021 / / 2 Comments

In my last post, I shared how I found my “focus word” for 2020 (you can read that story here).

This past week, I repeated the process for 2021. Instead of a single clear word, what came to mind as I listened was my recent Enneagram results. Enneagram is a personality profiling tool that’s very helpful in personal growth. I took the test over the holidays and found that I am a “One” type (you can take the free test here). As I continued to listen and reflect, I remembered reading that when Ones are developing in a healthy way, they become more spontaneous and joyful. The word “joyful” stood out to me. It stuck. It felt right. Here’s what I wrote after that listening prayer:

I asked God if She had a new focus word for me for the new year. I didn’t hear anything at first, but then my mind started reflecting on what I’d learned from my Enneagram test results reading I did yesterday. I’m a 1 with a 9 wing. When a 1 is healthy and growing, they move toward being more spontaneous and joyful like a healthy 7. The word joyful stuck out. At first I was skeptical. Joyful? Me? How can you MAKE yourself joyful or focus on being joyful? But something about it feels right. It sounds good. I’d like to be more joyful this year. I’m going to sit with it for a few days and ask for confirmation. Either way, it seems a healthy area of growth.

A recent experience made me feel like I’m on the right track. As I prepared to do my normal morning exercise of walking the stairs in my condo building, I glanced out the window at the large hill down the street. I decided to work on my spontaneity. Before I fell mindlessly into my habit, I told my wife Lisa that I was going to climb the hill. Well aware of my routine nature, she was surprised. I left before I could talk myself out of it.

View of the hill I climbed from our window

When I reached the top of the hill, I left the trail and explored a cave we had noticed from our condo. After descending, I took a different route on my way home and discovered a wonderful secluded walkway with several fountains. A few minutes later, I lingered beneath a huge tree whose canopy filled my vision as I gazed upward. I had forgotten how healing it can be to soak up nature, even right in the middle of the city. When I arrived home, I realized something wonderful – I felt joyful. My intentional spontaneity (which I realize is nearly an oxymoron) led me to joy.

What changes do you want for your life this year? Who would you like to be twelve months from now? Choose a focus word that captures that desire. Make it simple. Make it clear. Make it memorable. Recite it daily. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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