Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Tag: personal growth (Page 40 of 62)

What I’ve Learned About Myself from Writing 100 Personal Development Posts

May 30, 2020 / / 2 Comments

This is my 100th personal development blog post. I took some time to reflect on the journey to this personal milestone, and here are a few things that stood out:

1. I’m GRATEFUL

I’m grateful to you who read. Some of you have been with me from the beginning and stuck with me through my stumbling. While there’s a cathartic journaling aspect to my writing, I would not have come this far without you walking beside me. I am deeply thankful for you.

2. I’m HUMBLED

Some of you have shared that what I’ve written about my struggles and what I’ve learned has helped you on your own journey. Those comments surprise me every time. They are the wind in my sails that keeps me writing. Each of our lives are unique, yet when we share our very personal stories, I’m amazed how often they strike a universal chord in all of us. Our similarities shine brighter than our differences.

3. I’m PROUD

I’m proud of myself for starting this blog when I was afraid (Do I have anything meaningful to say? Who would read it? What if I embarrass myself and fail?) and for sticking with it, putting my thoughts into the world 100 times.

4. I’m SAFE

If you’ve read much of what I’ve written here, you’ll know that I find my deepest hope, meaning, and identity in my relationship with God. As I look back over the life experiences I’ve cataloged in these 100 posts, I feel a deep sense of safety. Not an isolation from pain, doubt, and struggle, but a realization that I’m held in the midst of them. That I never face them alone. I have confidence and peace that in the end, whatever twists my path may take, God has my back, and ultimately everything is going to be okay.

So how about you? Occasionally taking a few quiet moments to simply look back on your life is a great personal development tool. If you reflect on the last few years of your life, what stands out? What significant milestones have you experienced, both good and bad? What lessons have they taught you about yourself, others, the world, and, if applicable to you, God? How can remembering and applying those lessons help you today? I pray those reflections bring you peace, meaning, and hope as they propel you on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.

Feeling Stressed? Here’s a Simple Way to Find Some Peace

May 9, 2020 / / 2 Comments

My recent bout with coronavirus blues reminded me of stressful week I had a few months ago before the pandemic induced lockdown. I had to deal with a complicated tax issue. We got an unexpected $1000 medical bill when a “should have been free” screening was rejected by our insurance. Our credit card number was stolen by someone having a lot of fun in Florida at our expense. We learned of some serious problems with our rental house. Then the wall air conditioning unit in our apartment suddenly gushed water – again.

I’m normally pretty zen about these kinds of problems. Everyone has issues to deal with, and none of those struggles were unique to us. But having them crammed together in one week drove me over my limit, leaving me cursing and frustrated with a dark cloud over my head.

The next day I served lunch at a homeless shelter. I didn’t want to go, but it’s something I’ve committed to working into my routine. As I walked to the shelter, a man ahead of me on the sidewalk suddenly turned and jumped toward me, yelling something I couldn’t understand. At first I felt startled and defensive, but as I walked away, I wondered what kind of struggles he must be facing to act that way.

A few minutes later, I said hello to a disheveled woman who looked lost and forlorn. She said in a quiet voice that she knows I probably don’t care but she’d had a really rough night and was hoping to buy a drink at the 7-11 next door. I normally donate to charitable organizations where it can have the most impact, but I gave her some money, unable to imagine what it’s like to be a woman living alone on the streets.

At the homeless shelter, I spent three hours serving food to hundreds of people who had nowhere else to turn. White, black, brown, seniors, children, women, men. Poverty is no respecter of race, age, or gender.

On my walk home, a young man standing on the sidewalk reached out to fist bump me and asked where I went to college. He said he’d studied at Harvard, Oxford, Brown, and Le Cordon Bleu. During our conversation, he explained that he lived at the house we were standing in front of which was, as best as I could make out, a home for mentally challenged adults.

As I stood on our balcony that evening, I realized how much my negative feelings had changed. None of my problems had gone away, but as I compared them to those of the people I’d encountered that day, they seemed so small. I whispered a prayer for those I’d met and thanked God for my wonderful life.

So when the inevitable struggles come your way, take some time to acknowledge your understandable pain and frustration. But when you’re tempted to linger there, open your eyes and heart to the suffering of others. If you do, you’ll find some peace, and take another step towards Becoming Yourself.

How to Blow Away the Blues: Let It Out and Let It Go

May 2, 2020 / / 2 Comments

I’m generally a positive person. Glass half full, look on the bright side, count your blessings, and all that. This morning, not so much. As I sat on our apartment’s balcony for my daily time of meditation, reading, and prayer, I felt… off. Flat. Discouraged. I started to do what I normally do – shake it off, focus on the positive, push past it.

But then I stopped. I realized that response was simply not being honest with God or myself. So I tried a different approach. I vented. Poured out my feelings to God. How I felt guilty having such a good and relatively easy life compared to so many who are suffering right now. That I’m discouraged by how slowly my writing career is progressing. How frustrated I am with my recent nagging knee pain that’s preventing me from exercising which in turn leaves me feeling sluggish and unmotivated. That I’m bored being inside and tired of only seeing people through a computer screen. How I’m sick of wiping down everything that comes in the door and have continual low-grade anxiety of catching this truly horrible virus.

After about ten minutes, a surprising thing happened. I felt better. Lighter. More calm. Like I’d purged myself of something nasty. It reminded me that as wonderful as a positive perspective normally is, sometimes I just need to acknowledge that I’m struggling. Get it out. Be real with myself and those I trust. Coming clean with all that junk to God and my wife Lisa not only helped me get past my malaise, it strengthened our relationships.

That said, here’s a really important second part:

ONCE I LET IT OUT, I HAD TO LET IT GO

Marinating in self pity is not an attractive trait. Nor is it helpful to anyone, least of all myself or the people who are stuck living with me (Hi, Lisa). I had to leave the wallowing to the pigs. Purge my stuff, take a deep breath, and move on. Focus on the good. Practice gratitude. Do something positive to get me headed in a helpful direction. My “do something positive” was writing this post in hopes that it might help somebody else.

How are you doing? Really. Look in the mirror. Ask that question honestly. Be real with yourself. Then find someone safe and be real with them. Vulnerability is hard. It feels like walking down the street naked. But it’s also really good for us and our relationships. And your willingness to “go there” may give someone else the courage to do the same.

So the next time those negative emotions start to bubble up, find a healthy place to let them out, then let them go. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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