Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Tag: personal growth (Page 47 of 62)

Man choosing path in a wood

The Most Impactful Choice You’ll Make This (or any other) Year: Randomness, Distraction, or Story?

October 5, 2019 / / 0 Comments

I believe most people choose one of the three following ways of living:

1. EMBRACE RANDOMNESS – We are a cosmic accident, the by-product of time + matter + energy + chance. There is no overall meaning or purpose to life, rather we each find our own meaning however we can. We live out our lives as temporary residents of a chaotic universe, then we die and pass into the nothingness from which we came. The universe rolls on unaware and uncaring. The best way to live is to embrace this hard truth.

2. EMBRACE DISTRACTION – Don’t think about the big questions – where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? They are either uninteresting, unsettling, or unknowable. Stay busy – work, play, deal with problems, sleep. Stay distracted – TV, social media, eating, drinking, music, hobbies, relationships. Use them to fill the silence whenever we feel a nagging sense of hopeless or the emergence of the persistent underlying question “What is it all for? What does it all mean?” The best way to live is to get through each day as best you can.

3. EMBRACE STORY – There’s a Great Story being told, one we’ve fallen into and in which we all have a part to play. There’s an Author, a Director, a Weaver, and our life is one small colored thread in a massive, beautiful tapestry whose design we can’t yet fully see. We were born into the ultimate tale of Love, Adventure, and Romance. The Great Story is heading toward a dramatic conclusion, and we will share in a real happily ever after. The best way to live is to discover our part and enjoy playing it.

Which do you choose? Each one has pros and cons. None can be conclusively proven. All have many highly intelligent adherents. There are compelling arguments that can be made for all three. Listing those here is not my goal. I’d encourage you to consider your personal experiences along with the intellectual arguments for each option and decide for yourself.

I’ve weighed these competing world-views in my own life and have chosen to Embrace Story. Why? Firstly, because I’ve had numerous personal, subjective experiences that lead me to believe that it’s true. Secondly, I find the intellectual arguments for Story to be the most compelling (specifically the way the Story world-view explains the Existence of the Universe, the Fine-Tuning of the Universe, the Existence of Objective Morality, etc.) Finally, since none of the three can be conclusively proven, why not choose the most beautiful option? Why not select hope? Even if I’m wrong and Randomness is the true nature of the universe, in the end, what will I have lost by choosing to embrace Story?

Over the course of my fifty years, I, like everyone else, have had ups and downs, joys and struggles, incredible victories and staggering defeats. I’ve enjoyed moments of life-giving clarity and endured times of spirit-wrenching doubt. Through it all, I’ve discovered that embracing Story, getting to know the Author, and discovering my part to play has given me a sense of peace, joy, love, hope, direction, purpose, meaning, and fulfillment like nothing else I’ve ever found.

My sincere hope is that whatever world-view you select, one of these three or some variation, leads you to these same gifts. Choose well, and you’ll take a giant leap toward Becoming Yourself.

Some resources that have helped shape my thinking on the Embrace Story world-view:

The Sacred Romance by John Eldredge

Epic by John Eldredge

Another Name for Every Thing podcast by Richard Rohr (available wherever you listen to podcasts)

Achieving Goals: Elephant

Eat Your Elephant: A Bite-Sized Way to Achieve Audacious Goals

September 28, 2019 / / 2 Comments

Achieving Goals: Cleaning TileI hate floor tile. I’m more of a wood floor and carpet person. What I hate even more is cleaning tile. It had been on my to do list for a long time. I finally broke down and started the task by telling myself all I had to clean was the master bathroom floor and then I could quit.

To make the time more productive and enjoyable, I set up my laptop on the bathroom counter and searched YouTube for “best TED Talks”. For those unfamiliar with TED Talks, they are short teachings (about 15 minutes) on a wide variety of interesting subjects by experts in their field. I picked one at random and started scrubbing.

Achieving Goals: Goal SettingAs I listened to “How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals“ by Stephen Duneier, I was surprised to realize that I was actually using the technique the speaker was encouraging. I was breaking up a big task or goal into small, manageable pieces and then just taking the first step. It’s along the lines of the old adage “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” But this talk adds the tips of identifying your bites and utilizing otherwise wasted time in your day to take them.

Rather than reading my attempt at further explanation, give yourself a gift and take 18 minutes to be entertained, enlightened and inspired by listening to this highly motivating talk yourself.

Achieving Goals: ElephantBy the way, after I finished cleaning the master bathroom floor, I knocked out the entryway and downstairs bath floors as well! While floor cleaning is hardly an audacious goal, learning to apply this technique on smaller tasks gives me confidence in using it for bigger ones. Listen to this short TED Talk on a manageable way to achieve your audacious goals and take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

(Originally posted February 17, 2018)

What Ancient Cedar Trees Taught Me About My Problems

September 21, 2019 / / 0 Comments

After a long day of editing one of my novels, I was feeling brain dead and ready to crash in front of the TV. For whatever reason, I got a strong sense that I should take a walk instead. Trusting the intuition or God’s nudge or whatever it was, I grabbed my keys and headed out.

I wandered with no particular destination in mind. I had my headphones in, but rather than turn on an audio book or podcast, I just enjoyed the quiet. As I passed houses and apartments, I admired the architecture and wondered about the lives of the people who lived there.

I soon found myself in Capitol Park, one of my favorite haunts. It’s an island of curved paths, soaring trees, and green grass in the middle of bustling downtown Sacramento. I ambled slowly, without an agenda, soaking in the calm surroundings. Crossing the lawn in front of the striking dome of the State Capitol Building, I walked over to my favorite trees, a row of towering deodar cedars. Something about their massive girth, rough bark, giant limbs, and open foliage has always captured my imagination.

As I stood gazing up at these wooden monoliths, I thought of all that they had seen and withstood over their one-hundred and fifty years. The city has literally grown up around them. Storms have come and gone. Political leaders have changed. People have lived and died. Rain-soaked winters have yielded to sun-drenched summers. And still they stand.

It helped me see my problems in a new light. I often get worried and anxious about my day-to-day struggles. They can seem so big and important and long-lasting. But against the backdrop of these trees, somehow they began to feel smaller, more temporary, less weighty. As I stood beneath these ancient cedars, I could almost hear them whisper, Take a deep breath. Storms pass. Everything’s going to be okay.

I walked home feeling more full, open, and at peace than I have in a long time. I said a prayer of thanks for the message of the trees.

What I’m about to suggest is neither profound nor a miracle cure. It won’t make your problems go away, be they big or small. But if your day-to-day struggles are looming large or if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed, try taking a walk. Amble slowly. Let your thoughts wander. Take in whatever beauty you can find around you. Listen to the trees. You just might find a healthier perspective and a little peace. And you’ll have taken another step toward Becoming Yourself.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

The Bible, 2nd Corinthians 4:16-18 (New Living Translation)
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