In honor of Thanksgiving week, I want to share a simple, quick practice I’ve developed over the years that helps me be happy. It’s a way to put my mind on a positive track vs. dwelling on the inevitable frustrations, difficulties and disappointments that life throws my way. Here it is:
Take 1 minute at the beginning and end of each day to remember the things you’re thankful for.
Simple right? Perhaps simple enough to make you skeptical. Could such an obvious and easy thing really make a difference? I can only tell you that it works for me. Starting the morning with an “attitude of gratitude” helps me keep a healthy, positive focus throughout the day. Ending the evening by reminding myself of the good things in my life, even after a horrible day, helps me find some perspective and drift off to a more peaceful sleep.
Personally, I do this as part of a prayer but you can do it as a simple moment of reflection too. Here are a few categories to help you get going:
1. HEALTH – If you’re in reasonably good health and free from ongoing pain, that’s a win. Be thankful for it.
2. ANOTHER DAY – I have a neighbor who says “Every day above ground is a good one.” He has a point. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Be thankful for the gift of another 24 hours and the opportunity for a fresh start.
3. BASIC NEEDS MET – Do you have clean water to drink? Enough to eat? Clothes and a roof over your head? Congratulations. You are privileged. Millions around the world can’t say the same. Even in wealthy USA, recent natural disasters have robbed thousands of the basics. Be grateful.
4. RELATIONSHIPS – We’ve all heard it a hundred times because it’s true – family and friends add joy, richness and meaning to life. If you have them, be thankful. There are many who don’t.
5. A JOB – If you need one and you have one, celebrate. Even if it’s not a source of joy in your life, I’m guessing it beats the alternative. Whenever I’m frustrated with one of my jobs, I try to remember all the jobs other people do that I would absolutely hate. It makes me thankful for mine.
What would you add to this list? Make it personal and be creative. If you’re chasing happiness, try working these 1 minute wonders into your morning and evening routine. If you do, you’ll take another simple step toward Becoming Yourself.
Throughout my ghost hunting experience, choosing to embrace it all meant focusing on the good and joyful aspects of each step. That doesn’t mean I denied the exertion and the injuries of the search or my disappointment at the commonplace explanation of the light’s source. It means I chose to focus on the child-like wonder during the search phase and the feeling of accomplishment in the unmasking phase.
Some clarification on this point. Obviously, not everything in your life is equally enjoyable or offers the same degree of potential happiness. Right now some of you are going through terrible trials and struggles. In no way do I mean to minimize your pain. What I’m saying is that even the hardest things we face provide an opportunity for something good. During college I learned some horrible news that I knew would affect me deeply for many years. While I was devastated and grieving, I found a spark of hope underneath it all, a quiet excitement that came from knowing that going through this journey could make me a better, stronger person if I let it. That experience was one of the lowest and most difficult seasons of my life but I am so grateful for the things I learned and who I became through it. I did my best to embrace it all.
What does applying this idea look like in your life? Here’s a couple examples:
We all want to be happy. Life is filled with obstacles to fulfilling that desire and we need to find a variety of ways to overcome them. Choosing to embrace it all is just one approach that’s been helpful for me. Look for the good, the beautiful, and the joyful in every season. Choose to embrace it all. If you do, you’ll take another happy step toward Becoming Yourself.
A long time ago I was making small talk with someone when he started talking about extra-marital affairs. I had asked him why he changed jobs. He said he left his old career because cheating on your spouse was rampant in that industry. To get away from that environment, he moved to a more family-oriented occupation. I admired him for that. A year after our conversation he had an affair with someone at his new job.
Please hear me clearly, I am not throwing stones at this guy. I know myself well enough to remember how I’ve failed in various ways in the past and how vulnerable I am to failing again in the future. We all have our issues. We’ve all fallen short of the person we want to be, many times. I use that story to remind me that if I want to become my best self, I have to own my own problems vs. blaming other people or my circumstances for my shortcomings.
Here’s the difficult truth I have to embrace – the biggest problem I have in becoming the person I want to be is ME. Not my job. Not my spouse. Not how much money I have. Not my kids. Not my circumstance. It’s me. My attitude. My choices. My perspective. My thoughts. My actions. Me. And, if you’re like me, I’m guessing your biggest problem is you.
So be honest with yourself. Stop blaming external things. Own your own issues. Define your goals. Articulate your dreams. Make a plan. Take the next step. Get some help. Turn to friends, faith, family, experts, whomever and whatever you can for guidance and support. It’s not easy but it’s so worth it. You can do this! And if you do, you’ll take a giant leap toward Becoming Yourself.