Developing a Better You

Tag: Phoenix Arizona

Mystery Castle: Turn Your Annoyance into Passion

In the rugged desert outside of Phoenix Arizona stands a castle.

This unusual structure was built by an unusual man. In the early 1920s, Boyce Gully was diagnosed with tuberculosis and given two months to live. He chose to face his impending death by running away. Without telling his wife and daughter of his diagnosis or his departure, Boyce left Seattle and moved to a desolate plot of land outside the then fledgling town of Phoenix.

Current day view of downtown Phoenix from Mystery Castle

Possibly aided by the desert climate, Boyce did not die in two months. Realizing he was feeling better, he decided to spend whatever time he had remaining building a fairy tale castle for the young daughter he’d left behind. Over the next twenty-odd years, Boyce scavenged rail yards and construction sites, hotel auctions and trash heaps, and used the random collection of materials to build his castle. Skylights made from old glass bakeware supplemented the natural light brought in from circular windows made from repurposed car tire rims.

In 1945, Bryce’s wife and daughter, Mary Lou, still living in Seattle, received surprising news from the man’s lawyer. Bryce had just died and left them a castle. The astonished women made the trip to Phoenix to see the property. The lawyer showed them one particularly unusual spot – a locked trap door in the floor of one of the rooms. Another surprise followed – Bryce’s will stipulated that his wife and daughter must live in the castle for two years before his lawyer would be allowed to use the only key to open the strange locker.

Showing strong wills and adventurous spirits, the women agreed. Over the two years, they fell in love with their desert retreat. On the day set for the opening of the mysterious compartment, Life magazine showed up to cover the event. When the lid was pulled back, the women discovered cash, gold, Bryce’s journals, and letters to them explaining what he’d done and why. The story about the “Mystery Castle” made the cover of Life in January 1948.

Soon after, strangers, intrigued by the story, began showing up on the property. Tired of continually running off the curious crowds, Bryce’s widow and Mary Lou tried to stem the tide by sticking a sign out front requiring a paid admission. Undeterred, people opened their wallets and asked to see the place. The women started providing regular paid tours and found that they actually loved showing off their Mystery Castle. Mary Lou gave tours until her death in 2010, and a foundation she established continues the tradition to this day.

As I wandered Mystery Castle on a recent tour, I was struck not just by the odd story and the unique architecture, but by the tenacity and cleverness of these amazing women. Not only were they willing to embrace a radical life change brought about by a man who’d abandoned them, but they took a severe nuisance – the uninvited crowds – and turned it into a positive. In doing so, they not only created an unexpected income stream but discovered an unexpected passion – sharing their fascinating home and story with others.

I drove away challenged by their resourcefulness. How can I take annoyances in my own life and flip them on their head? Turn them into a positive? What might I discover about myself if I do? The loud music from the outdoor bar down the street can be an opportunity to dance in our living room. The grit-my-teeth chore of cleaning our condo can be made almost enjoyable when doing it while listening to a favorite audio book. Stuck-in-traffic moments can be a chance for my wife and I to plan our next travel adventure.

How about you? What annoyances do you have in your life? Can you think of ways to flip them to a positive? Get creative. Think outside the box. Choose a different mindset. If you do, you might be surprised at what you discover, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

How to Motivate Yourself to Tackle Change: Focus on the Other Side

Here are two statements I think most of us would agree with:

  1. Personal growth requires change.
  2. Change is hard.

That’s often the biggest hurdle, isn’t it? Almost everyone wants to be a better person (however you chose to define “better”), but a far smaller percentage of people actually become better versions of themselves. There are many reasons for that, but the difficulty of change is a big one.

So how do we motivate ourselves to tackle change? How do we get over the hump and get on with the “business of becoming”? There are a lot of answers to that question, but here’s one that’s helped me:

Focus on the other side.

What do I mean? Simply this – break through the change barrier to a personal growth goal by focusing on how good you’ll feel when you reach it.

Let’s break that down into 4 simple steps:

  1. Define your goal
  2. Make a plan
  3. Do the work
  4. Enjoy the results!

I’m living in a #4 season right now. I’m enjoying the results of big changes that I’ve tackled over the past couple of years in order to achieve two major personal growth goals: having a new life-style and starting a new career.

Here’s example #1: After my wife Lisa and I became empty nesters a few years ago, we decided that we were tired of living in a too big, maintenance-heavy house in the suburbs of Phoenix, Arizona. We had stayed multiple times in AirBnBs in midtown Sacramento, California while visiting our son and loved the mature trees, climate, and walkability of the city. So we decided to make a big change – sell both cars and most of our possessions, rent out our AZ house, and move to an apartment in Sacramento. 

As anyone who has moved out of state knows, it’s a lot of work. It takes planning and persistent effort over a long period of time before you feel settled in your new place. But we started with a clear goal in mind, made a plan, and plugged away at it. It’s taken about five months of consistent effort, but we did it. Our possessions are all sold, our house is rented, we have new medical insurance in place, our address is changed in about a hundred places, and we’re settled in our new apartment. And we love it! We walk everywhere, spend more time with our son, and have much more maintenance-free discretionary time. It’s so good on the other side of change!

View from the balcony of our new apartment

Here’s example #2: Ever since I was a kid, I dreamed of being a writer. For a variety of reasons, I chose a different path and enjoyed a wonderful and meaningful twenty-five year career in music, mostly as a music pastor in various churches. Over the last few years, I started feeling tired. I still believed in what I was doing, but my passion was waning. At the same time, I felt a renewed itch to write. With our kids out on their own and my wife Lisa McMann being a successful writer herself, I had the opportunity to make a big career change.

Over a two year span, I worked at gradually winding down my music career as I ramped up my writing. In addition to this blog, I am busy writing fantasy adventure novels for children. I’ve been picked up by an amazing literary agent who is currently shopping my first book to publishers. I’m a long way from being established in this field, but I feel energized again, and I’m loving my new life as a writer. It was scary to leave an established, successful career that I was comfortable in, but once again, it’s so good on the other side of change!

So how about you? What changes do you need to make in order to have the life you really want? To become who you really want to be? Is it taking control of your health or finishing your degree? Maybe it’s an addiction you need to break or a relationship that you know needs attention. It could be as simple as getting more organized or decluttering your home. Be the change large or small, short term or long term, mental or physical, emotional or spiritual, break through the change barrier by walking through the personal growth steps. Define your goal. Make a plan. Do the work. And each step of the way, focus on how good you’ll feel on the other side of change! If you do, you’ll take a huge step toward Becoming Yourself.

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