I’m in a strange place.
Recently, I’ve been struggling to define my season of life. I’ve been a full-time author for several years, publishing five books and doing lots of speaking gigs. Currently, I have no books under contract and few gigs. I’ve got various writing projects going, but with Lisa and I traveling frequently as nomads, sometimes I’m not working at all.
While I love and am grateful for this lifestyle, an unexpected side effect is feeling like I’m stuck on a threshold, betwixt and between, caught in a liminal space. I’m wrestling with not experiencing the maximum benefits of either a full-time career or full-time retirement.
As someone who prefers clarity and defined lines, this season has left me with a vague sense of unease. The uncertainty has made it hard to plan my work flow or set appropriate expectations for myself. When I’m enjoying a new travel location, I sometimes feel guilty that I’m not working. When I’m working, I often feel like I’m missing out on travel experiences.
I’ve been ruminating on this issue. Praying about it. Talking it through with my inner circle. Here’s where I’ve landed:
1. I’m semi-retired and work part time as a writer.
2. I write thriller novels, a personal development blog, and a nomadic travel newsletter.
While that sounds painfully obvious, I really couldn’t see it before. My season of life felt murky and undefined. Assigning these labels has given me a much needed sense of clarity, handles that I can grasp, and a place to ground my feet.
Now when I’m enjoying the perks of travel, I can do it guilt free by reminding myself that I’m semi-retired. When I’m working, I can fully engage without stress by reminding myself that I’m a part-time writer.
These labels provide a welcome structure to my life and routine. Do they eliminate all ambiguity? No, but I’m realizing that’s okay too. Embracing a measure of uncertainty is part of the human experience and the personal development process. As author Andy Stanley would say, finding seasonal clarity is not a one-time problem to be solved but an ongoing tension to be managed.
Are you in an uncertain season? Do you feel stuck on a threshold? Articulate your angst. Be vulnerable with trusted people. Consult your higher power (if you have one). Create clear defining labels. If you do, you’ll find a fresh measure of clarity, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.