Take a look at this picture:
That’s the view from just outside the door of our apartment in Sacramento, CA. Not so great.
Now look at this picture:
Much better right? Wouldn’t it be great if that was our view? Guess what? It is. I took both of those photos from the same spot. I didn’t even move my feet. I just changed what I chose to focus on.
What’s my point? In life, there’s beauty and ugliness all around us. In our physical surroundings, in other people, in our circumstances, in ourselves. Whether we choose to focus on the beautiful or the ugly will have a huge impact on our mood, our attitude, and our outlook on life.
We’ve all known people who choose to see the ugliness, the downside, the negative in everything. Their glass is always half empty. They’re like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, minus being cute and cuddly. They are not fun people to be around.
On the flip side, we’ve all known people who are contagiously positive, upbeat, and filled with wonder at the world around them. Think Will Ferrell’s character Buddy in the Christmas movie Elf. Their glass is always half full. We’ve been envious of them. What’s their secret? They choose to see the beauty in every situation.
I’m not saying this is easy. I’m not saying “just put on a happy face.” Sometimes life is really hard, and some of us go through pain that most people can’t even imagine. And sometimes we should look at the ugly parts of life in order to heal ourselves or to bring help and hope to others in need.
What I am saying is that we have a choice to make. In every situation, every day. We don’t get to choose many of the things that happen to us in life, but we do get to choose how we will respond to them. How we will view our circumstances. What aspects of life we will focus on.
This anonymous quote was found scrawled on a cellar wall in Germany during the Holocaust:
“I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I cannot feel it. I believe in God even when He is silent.”
Beauty and hope can be found in the most desperate of situations if we choose to look for it.
So how about you? What do you choose to see? Where do you fix your eyes? What do you notice? Where do you focus your attention? Give yourself, and those around you, an amazing gift. Choose today to see the beauty in everything and everyone. Train your eyes to see the good. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
Spiritual Sidebar:
For those of you with a spiritual bent, this idea of choosing where to focus your gaze is something that’s written about a lot in the Bible. Here are some examples:
“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.” Psalm 105:4 (New International Version)
“Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom; in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth without knowing whose it will finally be. But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.” Psalm 39:6-7 (New International Version)
“And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” Hebrews 12:1b-2a (New Living Translation)
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2 (New International Version)
“That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (New Living Translation)
“Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”
But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”
Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
“Yes, come,” Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”
Matthew 14:24-31 (New Living Version)
This post was originally published August 4, 2018.
Day and night. Work and play. Hot and cold. Love and hate. Sorrow and joy. Sun and rain. Vegetables and cheesecake. It’s a lesson that’s built into nearly every aspect of life. The world we live in is made up of a series of balanced opposites, holding each other in necessary, life-giving tension. It’s a dance, a system of give and take, of harmony, one we fight against at our peril. If any one of these couplets become too one-sided, our life becomes out of balance and bad things are the result.
So what does this have to do with personal development? In order to become the person we want to be, we must balance ACTION and CONTEMPLATION. My philosophy teaching father always says when discussing something important, “define your terms”. So what do I mean by “action” and “contemplation” in regards to personal development?
As you read those definitions, which did you identify with most strongly? We all have a natural leaning one way or the other. I personally gravitate more toward contemplation. I set aside time every morning for reflection, meditation, prayer, and personal growth reading. I enjoy introspection, trying to figure out who I am and how I’m wired. But I struggle with action. I feel deeply for other people’s suffering, but it takes intentionality and effort to step outside of myself to act on those feelings. Both are necessary, but it’s hard to find the balance.
My favorite example is Jesus. Regardless of your beliefs on his divinity, I think there’s a lot we can all learn from how he lived. The first four books of the Bible’s New Testament (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) paint an amazing picture of the way Jesus balanced action and contemplation. His ministry was filled with practical actions of healing the sick, teaching those who were searching for direction, training his disciples, challenging corrupt systems, and caring for the poor. At the same time, he regularly spent time away from the crowds to study, reflect, and pray (as a boy in the temple in Luke 2:41-51, forty days in the wilderness in Matthew 4:1-11, after feeding five thousand people in John 6:14-15, etc.).
If it’s ACTION, maybe you need to step out and volunteer for a cause you believe in. Try a school or a food bank or a club or a church. Go alone or grab a friend or a group from work. Use 
One of the amazing things about action and contemplation is that they have a symbiotic relationship where each feeds the other. I learn about myself and find healing through the ACTION of serving others. I’m most effective at serving others from the place of self-knowledge and wholeness gained through CONTEMPLATION. There’s no perfect balance to this. There will be seasons when it’s best to focus on action and others when you need more time in contemplation. That’s normal and okay. This is a lesson to work on for a lifetime.
So I switched mental gears, and we headed off to the park. As we were taking our walk, I was given another opportunity to be flexible. I started processing aloud some of the big decisions we were wrestling with, like whether or not to move and which retirement investments to pursue. I asked her questions, and she answered me but without a lot of enthusiasm. I missed the cues she was sending and continued talking. Finally Lisa said, “Look, I really just want to play some Pokemon here.” (Apparently, I’m not the only one who needs to work on being flexible. But I digress.)
Finally realizing that her expectations for what we would do during our walk were different than mine, I said, “ Well, I’m just going to go for my run then.” She thought that was a great idea (no surprise there) so off I went. As I ran, I began to think, reflect on life, and pray. When I finished running, I sat on a bench and read my personal development daily emails (from Richard Rohr at 
1. I need other people to speak into my life – Lisa brought up something that I needed to work on – being flexible. As hard as it was to admit, she was right. I’m a very routine driven person with a strong expectations of how things should go. Those traits can be strengths but at a certain point they become weaknesses. I had to be open to her critique, fight the urge to be defensive, and look at myself honestly. When I did, I put myself in a position to grow. I need to give people I trust permission to speak into my life and welcome it when they do. It’s painful but very necessary if I’m going to become who I want to be.
2.
So how about you? Are you inviting people to speak into your life? Give one person that permission today. Are you flexible and willing to try new things? Look for an opportunity to change your routine today. Are you open to the lessons life has to teach you? Take a moment to reflect on something you experience today. If you do, you’ll take another huge step toward Becoming Yourself.