Here’s what my home city of Sacramento, California normally looks like:
Here’s what it’s looked like for the past week:
Photo credit: John Myers, Los Angeles Times
The deadliest wildfire in California history, the Camp Fire, is taking place about 70 miles north of where my wife Lisa and I live. The resulting smoke has settled over a huge patch of northern California including Sacramento. Yesterday, we had the distinction of having the worst air quality of any major city in the world. The fire department is handing out free air filter masks, and health officials are saying to stay indoors if at all possible.
As a result, we’ve been holed up in our apartment for the last week. My outdoor excursions have been limited to going down to the lobby to get our mail every other day with my sweatshirt over my face. I’m very much a person who enjoys and thrives on routine, so this disruption to my normal schedule has been a challenge. Since we all face a variety of minor and major disruptions in our lives, I want to share three things that are helping me deal with my current situation:
Photo Credit: Noah Berger, Associated Press
1. BE GRATEFUL
Choosing “an attitude of gratitude” is one of the most effective ways to deal with life’s interruptions. Lisa and I feel incredibly fortunate to be safe, to have our apartment not in danger, and as writers, to be able to work from home. To date, the Camp Fire has taken the lives of 71 people. Over 1,000 are still missing, tens of thousands have been displaced, and almost 10,000 homes destroyed. When we remember how others have been impacted so deeply, our minor inconveniences shrink to their proper perspective.
2. BE GENEROUS
Generosity is gratitude in action. It’s taking practical steps to help others who are hurting. Our charity of choice during natural disasters is the Red Cross. The smoke hovering outside our windows serves as a reminder for us to give to a wonderful agency that is providing practical help to those devastated by these wildfires. If you’re motivated to donate, click here.
Me setting up our library
3. BE CREATIVE
Sometimes disruptions can provide opportunities to do things in a new way. I took the chance that being cooped up in our apartment gave me to do some long delayed projects, like setting up our library and laying out picture shelves in our bedroom. We sold both our vehicles in our recent move to Sacramento since we can walk almost everywhere including the grocery store. With walking being discouraged, this week we used an online grocery delivery service instead. I normally run outside five times a week, so I’ve been missing my exercise. Since we live on the sixth floor, this morning I tried running up and down the back stairwell of our building. It was shielded from the smoke and gave me a great workout.
So how about you? What disruptions are you dealing with? Take a moment to acknowledge the inconvenience. Then, remember the good things in your life, and BE GRATEFUL. Think of those suffering more than you are, and BE GENEROUS. Look for options you hadn’t considered before, and BE CREATIVE. If you do, things will definitely improve, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
What did you feel when you read the word “change”? Maybe you got excited because change is something you generally enjoy. Maybe your stomach sank because change is something you try to avoid. Whichever best describes you, most of us have a strong reaction to the idea of change.
Virtually all change involves an element of loss. This is obvious with hard, unwelcome change, like the passing of a loved one. In my 25 years as a music pastor, I participated in countless funerals. I’ve seen some people desperately avoid, deny, or bury their grief, to their great detriment. I’ve watched others walk through it courageously, acknowledging and embracing their pain, and take the first steps toward healing. But even positive change, like getting your dream job, has an element of grief. It may mean saying goodbye to co-workers you care about or leaving part of your former work that was meaningful or enjoyable. Whatever your circumstance, the first step to processing change is to grieve well.
2. MARK THE MOMENT
3. PURSUE THE POSSIBILITIES
So how about you? What changes are you facing? Rather than dreading or avoiding them, why not try this 3 step process for yourself? Grieve well. Mark the moment. Pursue the possibilities. If you do, you’ll take another huge step toward Becoming Yourself.
I recently had the strange and wonderful experience of watching my daughter Kennedy McMann on a TV show. She’s an actor living in New York City, and she guest starred on NBC’s long-running hit “Law and Order: SVU” (season 20, episode 4, air date Oct 11, 2018). If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s a police procedural focusing on a big city special victims unit. Horrible things happen to the characters portrayed by the weekly guest actors. As I watched Kennedy play these heart wrenching scenes, I found myself feeling incredibly proud, amazed by her talent, and caught up in the emotion of the story.
As I reflected back on that experience, I wondered at how Kennedy was able to portray all that raw emotion with such authenticity. Her acting experience and excellent training at Carnegie Mellon University can only carry her so far. Then I realized an important factor in understanding this ability – she was repurposing her pain.
It’s so tempting to deny, bemoan, bury, or wallow in your pain. But none of those responses are helpful. Not to yourself or anyone else. Instead, how about looking for a way to repurpose your pain? Let it serve as motivation or fuel for a healthy personal goal, like training for a race, taking a class, or applying for a new job. Can you share your story in a way that equips, encourages, and empowers others to face their own struggles? It may be as simple as a social media post or sharing a little more deeply than normal with a friend over coffee. Maybe it’s something more substantial like starting a blog or teaching a class or volunteering at your favorite charity or writing a book. Whatever it is for you, choose to start today.
We all have pain. The question really comes down to this – what are you going to do with it? I encourage you to embrace your pain. Feel it. Process it. Learn from it. Then let it go. Refuse to bury it, deny it, or marinate in it. Use your pain as fuel for a personal growth goal. Share your story to shine a light for others and find your own healing. If you do, you’ll take another giant step to Becoming Yourself.