I had an impromptu conversation with a good friend a while ago. She’s in her thirties, highly intelligent and inquisitive about life. She grew up going to church but stopped after high school. Since then, by her own admission, she hadn’t thought much about God until recently. She said she had a question for me. It went something like this:
“When I’m in nature, I feel like there’s something else out there with me. It’s like I’m sensing something bigger than myself but I don’t know what it is. I’m not sure if I think that’s God or something else. How can I tell?”
She knew that I believed in God and that I enjoyed wrestling with philosophical, theological, and intellectual questions. Over the years, I’ve had these kinds of discussions with many people from all across the theological belief spectrum. What I shared with her seemed to really help so I decided to pass it on here for two reasons. First, if you have the same question, I hope it helps you too. Second, I believe that the method I used to respond to her can be applied to almost any issue of belief we may face.
A clarification before going any further. The point of this post is not to try to prove the existence of God or to convince anyone to believe like I do. I consider myself a “faith and reason” person, meaning that I believe in God because of some very personal, subjective experiences I’ve had and also because of some intellectual reasons that I find compelling. But sharing those is not my goal here. I just want to give one of many potential frameworks that you could use to address the God question if you are like my friend.
Sometimes when we’re wrestling with what we believe about something, having someone else ask us specific questions about that topic can help clarify our thinking. So I asked her a series of questions:
1. Do you think what you’re sensing is a mindless natural force like, for example, electricity? Or do you think it has a consciousness and is self-aware? (In her case, she thought what she sensed had a consciousness.)
2. Do you think what you’re sensing is higher, bigger, more advanced or more powerful than you? (She did.)
3. Do you think what you’re sensing is a creative force that has something to do with the existence of the world? Of us? (She did.)
4. Do you think what you’re sensing is a good, positive, loving force or a bad, negative, malicious one? (She thought it was good and loving.)
5. Do you think what you’re sensing is aware of you and wanting to connect with you somehow? (She did.)
On the basis of her responses to those questions, I said something like this:
“If I understand you correctly, you believe that what you’re sensing has a consciousness, is higher than you, is creative, is loving, and wants to connect with you. What you’re describing sounds a lot like what I think of as God. I don’t care what you call it. If that term has negative baggage for you, call it whatever you want. But to me it seems like you believe in God.”
You may read those questions and have different answers than my friend did, which lead you to a different conclusion. Either way, I think the “is there a God” question is an important one for each of us to answer one way or the other. Why? Because it has pretty big implications on your worldview, the way you see life and your place in it. And your worldview has a huge impact on your choices and actions, on how you live and who you become.
As you continue on the journey to a better you, I encourage you to answer these questions for yourself. Use this query technique to clarify your thinking in other areas as well. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
A long time ago I was making small talk with someone when he started talking about extra-marital affairs. I had asked him why he changed jobs. He said he left his old career because cheating on your spouse was rampant in that industry. To get away from that environment, he moved to a more family-oriented occupation. I admired him for that. A year after our conversation he had an affair with someone at his new job.
Please hear me clearly, I am not throwing stones at this guy. I know myself well enough to remember how I’ve failed in various ways in the past and how vulnerable I am to failing again in the future. We all have our issues. We’ve all fallen short of the person we want to be, many times. I use that story to remind me that if I want to become my best self, I have to own my own problems vs. blaming other people or my circumstances for my shortcomings.
Here’s the difficult truth I have to embrace – the biggest problem I have in becoming the person I want to be is ME. Not my job. Not my spouse. Not how much money I have. Not my kids. Not my circumstance. It’s me. My attitude. My choices. My perspective. My thoughts. My actions. Me. And, if you’re like me, I’m guessing your biggest problem is you.
So be honest with yourself. Stop blaming external things. Own your own issues. Define your goals. Articulate your dreams. Make a plan. Take the next step. Get some help. Turn to friends, faith, family, experts, whomever and whatever you can for guidance and support. It’s not easy but it’s so worth it. You can do this! And if you do, you’ll take a giant leap toward Becoming Yourself.
Remember The Matrix movie? In this popular philosophy-ridden action film, the human race was unconsciously enslaved by machines. Everyone thought they were awake when they were really in a computer induced stupor. They were all asleep.
Recently that quest has led me to a daily email musing by a Franciscan priest named 
What does it mean to be “awake”? In simple terms, I think it means to be aware. To consciously consider the options that each situation in daily life offers us and make intentional choices. An “awake” inner dialog could go something like this:
My point is NOT that we should always choose what we think will benefit others at the expense of our own well being. I’ve been down that road and it led to emotional burnout and a therapist’s office. Sometimes the best thing we can do for the world is to choose things that add to our own personal comfort and happiness. Like most things, there’s a balance to be sought there.
My point IS that we should be having that inner dialog. That we should snap out of the unconscious fog that we so easily drift into where we simply do what we feel is best for us unless some outside force pressures us to do otherwise. That we should recognize our options. That we should be intentional about our choices. That we should train ourselves to be “awake”.