Developing a Better You

Category: Personal Development (Page 3 of 56)

Frustrated by the State of the World? Here’s a Simple Action You Can Take

Sometimes looking back helps us move forward.

Given the state of the world today, it feels appropriate to revisit a topic I wrote about years ago—Barmen Today, a written declaration encouraging people to adopt a set of common core values. It was spearheaded in 2018 by my friend Susan Rau Stocker and some fellow students of the Living School at the Center for Action and Contemplation.

Some of you are feeling uneasy right now. You’re wondering, “Is this a political post? I’m not here for that.” I get it. I’m not a political junky myself. That said, I’ve learned that much of politics is a form of personal development on a larger, more communal scale. Part of my own mental, emotional, and spiritual development includes taking steps to support those same developments in others. Politics (laws, legislation, and the people that make them) plays a key role in that.

So what is the Barmen Today Declaration? It’s a statement that provides a simple way for you to stand with people who are suffering and marginalized. To make your voice heard in a call for unity and healing. To say that every human matters and has inherent dignity and value regardless of class, gender, orientation, race, or religion. To declare you stand for love vs. hate, compassion vs. apathy, and hope vs. fear. This is not a statement in favor of any particular political party or religion. This is a statement about the kind of world you want to live in and are willing to fight for.

I completely respect your right to any political viewpoint or position. I have family, friends, and readers all across the political spectrum. But within our healthy debates about pressing issues of our day, a common ground of decency, respect, humility, and openness will make those debates productive vs. destructive, exchanges that sharpen each other vs. wound each other.

I believe Barmen Today offers that common ground. You can read it below and decide for yourself. If you agree with it, I hope you’ll join me in signing. Live by its principles. Share the link or this post with others in your circle. Together, we can make a more compassionate and unified world, and help each other take another step toward Becoming Ourselves.

SIGN BARMEN TODAY HERE

BARMEN TODAY:
A CONTEMPORARY CONTEMPLATIVE DECLARATION

 
History is filled with moments which demand words and actions to define fundamental values and commitments.  Such moments require not only humble introspection consistent with contemplative practice but also the concurrent courage to speak prophetically, consistent with such practice.
 
In 1934 in Germany, at a time when humanity faced the threats of the tyrannical and evil power of Nazism, when the state church of Germany affirmed the actions and leadership of its nation to ensure its place of privilege in society, not all voices of opposition remained silent. Those signing the Barmen Declaration spoke out as an act of “divine obedience” in resistance to the church’s unconscionable moral compromise, proclaiming their allegiance to a Truth greater than temporal politics. 
 
Time has revealed the Barmen Declaration to be a significant confessional document, a historical statement defining fundamental values and commitments.


In contemporary America, we face parallel threats and affirmations as prominent and privileged leaders of America’s Christian churches choose to closely and publicly support the policies and actions of our nation’s leadership – policies and actions irreconcilable with the pursuit of peace and justice. Many of these policies and actions demean people of color, support hate-filled speech from white supremacists, ostracize gender minorities, demonize refugees and immigrants, and ignore climate change realities. These policies and actions embolden others to act similarly; polarize people within and beyond this nation; falsely cloak nationalism, fascism, and racism in words of universal beliefs and values, distorting and undermining the very bases of many faiths, not the least of which is what it means to be Christ-affirming.
 
As contemplatives of diverse ancestries, traditions, and faiths, we hold in common our witness to:
 
o    Love and compassion
o    Healing of division
o    Promotion and protection of human dignity
o    Stewardship of creation

In so holding, we honor and cherish the inherent Divinity existing within all of creation.
 
Our intention is to stand in unanimity and non-violent resistance to the very real threats to that which we hold in common. Recognizing that actions of tribalism, fascism, isolationism, and similar divisive initiatives are now happening throughout this world, as citizens of this nation, together, we seek to provide a common message to reject and resist the policies and actions of our nation and its leaders when they run counter to our common holdings.
 
As contemplatives of diverse faiths, we may and must speak with one voice in this matter today. “Silence in the face of evil is itself evil,” warned Dietrich Bonhoeffer. “Not to speak is to speak.  Not to act is to act.” Precisely because we want to remain faithful to both the Divine which we seek to understand and the Love which we seek to live, we choose to not be silent. We choose to speak and act.


We have a common message in this time of common need:
 
o   To the extent that our government affirms the basic dignity of all people and works deliberately to provide equal access to law, economic opportunity, education, healthcare, and a healthy environment, we will be loyal citizens. But to the extent it promotes factionalism, racism, fascism, unequal treatment in law enforcement, gender bias, or harm to the poor, the oppressed, the disadvantaged, the unwanted, the refugee, and the environment, we declare that we will non-violently reject and resist.
 
o   Our security comes not from gun ownership or military might; it does not come from oppression of the many for the enrichment of the few; it does not come from degrading others who are unlike ourselves. As contemplatives of many faiths, we seek the welfare of all our brothers and sisters, including those of differing perspectives and opinions. But to the extent that current policies and actions demand allegiance to the tyranny of the privileged and the few, we declare we will non-violently reject and resist.
 
o   We seek to speak the truth in love and to challenge the prevailing ideological and political convictions which do not align with the Divinity of love. We understand that free speech, pursuit of happy and healthy living, and freedom of religion lay in the Constitutional foundation of this nation’s history and in our hopes of securing and protecting the dignity of all humanity. We believe in the full and equal exercise of these rights by all people. To the degree that our leaders shun these rights and their equal exercise, we declare we will non-violently reject and resist.
 
o   We embrace separation of the powers of Church and State and urge all to continue to embrace it. And while individuals may vote as their conscience dictates, it is blatantly false to proclaim that any elected or appointed leader of this nation, including the President, represents more than a person charged with the duty to serve all of the people of this nation; it is blatantly false to proclaim that he is anointed or especially chosen of God to lead this nation; it is blatantly false to conclude that he is somehow above the constraints of moral and legal scrutiny. To such positions, we declare we will non-violently reject and resist.


Therefore, the undersigned hereby commit to avail themselves of contemplative, non-violent action and ask spiritual and faith leaders and followers across the United States to join us in works of “divine obedience” in resistance against current and future policies and actions which marginalize any human being of any color, class, race, religion, disability, or gender; which threaten the stewardship of creation; which embrace evil rather than good and hate rather than love. We ask you to reject and resist the words, policies, and actions of exclusion, denigration, hatred, fascism, and nationalism.
 
We invite all who are able to support Barmen Today: A Contemporary Contemplative Declaration to hold it in a circle of unity of faith, hope, and love, and to stand steadfast in non-violently rejecting and resisting until our nation chooses to serve all people and all of creation with the Divine love to which all are entitled.
 
Nothing has ever been more imperative.

SIGN BARMEN TODAY HERE

The Appealing Beauty of Your Imperfections

I heard my friend curse. 

Years ago, we’d hired him to install hardwood flooring in our new sun room. He’d missed the nail and left a small hammer mark in the expensive wood. My wife and I assured him that it was fine. We actually like a few dings because it gives the floor character and shows that it’s real. 

I’m working on adopting that perspective for myself. My instinct is to present a faultless, unblemished version of myself to everyone. But that’s not a true picture. It’s not reality. Letting my blemishes and imperfections show makes me more alive, more relatable, more real. The posts where I admit my failings and mistakes regularly get more engagement than my success stories.

It makes sense. With so much fake, filtered, and curated content online, there’s a real hunger for the real, the raw, the unvarnished. We respond to it on a visceral level because we know that’s our personal reality. We’re all lovable, beautiful, and worthy, but we’re also scarred, imperfect creatures with growth edges. Like draws like. Deep calls to deep. Truth satisfies in a way the manufactured never can.

As you consider what to share online and with those around you, drop your guard a little. Open up. Be vulnerable. Be real. Let your cracks show, because, as the saying goes, that’s where your light shines through. If you do, you’ll help create a more honest and meaningful world, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Find Real Freedom with “Freedom FROM” + “Freedom FOR”

There are two sides to freedom.

In the US, we recently celebrated the 4th of July, marking the anniversary of freedom from British rule. The early colonists desired freedom FROM a monarchy which called the shots from afar, so they could have freedom FOR a democracy that allowed them to chart their own path. They realized that if they wanted the latter, they needed to break from the former. Their “for” gave clarity and motivation to their “from.”

I recently wrote about my wife and I pursuing our dream of a nomadic life (you can read that post here). I was shocked by the high level of interest. Many of the comments spoke wistfully of the sense of freedom our nomadic goal represented. I want to share about our new season in a hopefully helpful way, which led me to the idea of the dualistic “from” and “for” nature of freedom.

Lisa and I are pursing the nomadic lifestyle because we desire FREEDOM FROM:

1. set schedules

2. mortgages

3. debt

4. maintenance

5. possessions

to allow FREEDOM FOR:

1. travel

2. research & writing

3. seeing scattered family & friends

4. simplicity

5. flexibility & spontaneity

As we’ve learned from hard experience, getting freedom FROM those things takes intentionality, effort, and perseverance. We needed the clarity of our freedom FOR list to give us the necessary motivation to keep hacking our way toward our dream. 

Here’s an example—a few days ago, we woke at 3:30 am to discover our air conditioner had gone out, despite having it serviced a few months ago. With current highs in Phoenix reaching 114 degrees F and lows in the mid 80s, this was a problem. Not to mention that we are literally days away from closing on the property to begin nomadic living. The irony was not lost on us.

When we learned our AC tech was out of town for the holiday weekend, we took it as a sign and decided to move out early. Starting at 8:00 am, we did all the last-minute washing, packing, and cleaning in the growing heat, then loaded our little red 2007 Pontiac G6 with everything we were taking into our nomadic life, minus the boxes of financial docs, photos, favorite books, and memorabilia we’ve stowed in our daughter’s guest room closet and the two suitcases temporarily stashed at a friend’s house until the roomier SUV we purchased arrives.

Tired and sweaty, we drove to a hotel that afternoon, leaving behind all our furnishings which were thankfully purchased by our condo buyer, eliminating the hassle of selling and donating our remaining possessions. The broken AC, lingering condo closing, and our currently-for-sale rental house keep us from feeling the transition fully, but even with those loose ends, we’re officially living nomadically. When the dust settles, everything we own in the world will be in our daughter’s closet and our compact SUV. It’s an exhausting but thrilling time. Our freedom FROM list is almost completed, and our freedom FOR journey awaits.

When you think about your life, what do want freedom FROM? A bad relationship? An unfulfilling job? Crushing debt? What do you want freedom FOR? Volunteering? Hobbies? Deeper friendships? Reflect on these questions seriously. Discuss them with your inner circle. Get specific with your answers. Write them down. Then let your FOR list motivate you to tackle your FROM list. If you do, you’ll find the freedom you crave, and you’ll take a giant leap toward Becoming Yourself.

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