Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 2 of 49)

Use Autumn to Reflect

October 5, 2024 / / 2 Comments

There’s something special about autumn.

The crisp air. The vibrant purple, red, and gold leaves. A steaming cup of tea. A crackling fire. An artful display of pumpkins, cornstalks, and apples.

Autumn has been my favorite season since childhood. Now that the calendar has flipped to October, I’ve been thinking about why I enjoy this time of year so much.

There’s a preciousness to fall that heightens its delights. I know these magical days are fleeting. The long lazy days of summer are over and the cold dark winter lies ahead. It makes me want to savor this season.

Autumn is a time of reflection. Its transitional nature encourages me to ponder my life. What seasons have come and gone? Which has most recently waned and which one awaits? Where do I find myself now?

The last year an a half has been a time of intense change in my career, family, and way of living (I wrote about those changes here). The current season for my wife Lisa and me is dominated by adapting to our new nomadic lifestyle. Three months ago, we finished selling our condo, our rental houses, and almost all our possessions. We now live in hotels, AirBnbs, and with friends and family throughout the US, and we’ll soon be heading abroad. 

At times I wonder if we’re crazy. This way of life is so different than anything we’ve done before, and the challenges are real. But overall, we’re loving the freedom, spontaneity, variety, and relational connections that nomadic life provides. In the frustrating times, I think of how proud I am of us for taking the leap into this dream we’ve had for so long, and remind myself we can always plant roots again if we choose.

What reflections is this autumn season stirring in you? Take time to ponder. Wander a wood, a park, a lane. Look back on the seasons of your life. Observe honestly where you are now. Gaze at what lies ahead. Practice gratitude for it all. Let the insights you gain guide your path. If you do, you’ll experience a deep joy this autumn, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

A Simple Way to Help a Loved One in Pain

September 28, 2024 / / 2 Comments

I’m a fixer.

In response to a frustration, hurt, or problem in a loved one’s life, my first instinct is to fix it. To solve it. To make it go away.

But for some of the deepest struggles in life, there is no fix. No solve. No solution. There is only acceptance. Endurance. Embracing. Sharing. Supporting. This is where real love and true friendship are shown. 

When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares.

henri nouwen

When a friend is struggling, it gives me hope knowing I don’t have to have sage advice or just the right words of comfort. What matters most is my willingness to walk the dark road beside them.

So when a loved one is in pain, simply show up. Be there. Embrace the silence. Admit that you don’t know what you don’t know. If you do, you’ll provide a deep comfort, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published July 8, 2023.

From the June 23, 2023 daily mediation from The Henri Nouwen Society

Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books.

Find Relief from Hidden Stress with Stillness

August 17, 2024 / / 6 Comments

The knots in my gut are beginning to relax. 

Until I came to this quiet AirBnb in remote Skull Valley Arizona, I didn’t know they were there. The knots had been my companions for so long, they felt normal. 

It makes sense. In the last 18 months, my wife’s father died. I had my debut author year. Was rushed to the hospital by ambulance with excruciating pain in my abdomen. Published five books. Went on three national book tours. My mom spent months in ICUs before dying in hospice. My wife and I sold three properties, including our primary residence. Bought a new vehicle. Sold and donated virtually all our possessions. Became digital nomads, living in hotels, AirBnbs, and with friends and family. 

Skull Valley AZ

The depth and pace of stress and change, both thrilling and horrifying, have taken their toll. So as Lisa and I sit in a refurbished barn at the end of a three mile dirt road with nowhere to go, the twisted strands in my gut are loosening. I hadn’t realized how much I needed this.

I’m trying to lean into the silence. The stillness. The lack of busyness. To rest. To heal. To learn what God, the universe, my body, and my soul are trying to teach me.

Life has seasons. They come and go based on a mix of my own choices and factors completely beyond my control. In my confusion, laziness, and stress, I sometimes confuse the two. It often takes days like these to untangle the threads. I’m grateful for the opportunity. 

Skull Valley AZ

Do you have hidden (or not so hidden) stress? Take a moment to pause. Be still. Breathe deep. Gaze into your life. Reflect. Be honest about what you see. Hear the voices of yourself, the universe, your Higher Power. Learn the lessons they have to teach. If you do, you’ll find relief, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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