Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 2 of 49)

A Simple Way to Help a Loved One in Pain

September 28, 2024 / / 2 Comments

I’m a fixer.

In response to a frustration, hurt, or problem in a loved one’s life, my first instinct is to fix it. To solve it. To make it go away.

But for some of the deepest struggles in life, there is no fix. No solve. No solution. There is only acceptance. Endurance. Embracing. Sharing. Supporting. This is where real love and true friendship are shown. 

When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares.

henri nouwen

When a friend is struggling, it gives me hope knowing I don’t have to have sage advice or just the right words of comfort. What matters most is my willingness to walk the dark road beside them.

So when a loved one is in pain, simply show up. Be there. Embrace the silence. Admit that you don’t know what you don’t know. If you do, you’ll provide a deep comfort, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published July 8, 2023.

From the June 23, 2023 daily mediation from The Henri Nouwen Society

Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books.

Find Relief from Hidden Stress with Stillness

August 17, 2024 / / 6 Comments

The knots in my gut are beginning to relax. 

Until I came to this quiet AirBnb in remote Skull Valley Arizona, I didn’t know they were there. The knots had been my companions for so long, they felt normal. 

It makes sense. In the last 18 months, my wife’s father died. I had my debut author year. Was rushed to the hospital by ambulance with excruciating pain in my abdomen. Published five books. Went on three national book tours. My mom spent months in ICUs before dying in hospice. My wife and I sold three properties, including our primary residence. Bought a new vehicle. Sold and donated virtually all our possessions. Became digital nomads, living in hotels, AirBnbs, and with friends and family. 

Skull Valley AZ

The depth and pace of stress and change, both thrilling and horrifying, have taken their toll. So as Lisa and I sit in a refurbished barn at the end of a three mile dirt road with nowhere to go, the twisted strands in my gut are loosening. I hadn’t realized how much I needed this.

I’m trying to lean into the silence. The stillness. The lack of busyness. To rest. To heal. To learn what God, the universe, my body, and my soul are trying to teach me.

Life has seasons. They come and go based on a mix of my own choices and factors completely beyond my control. In my confusion, laziness, and stress, I sometimes confuse the two. It often takes days like these to untangle the threads. I’m grateful for the opportunity. 

Skull Valley AZ

Do you have hidden (or not so hidden) stress? Take a moment to pause. Be still. Breathe deep. Gaze into your life. Reflect. Be honest about what you see. Hear the voices of yourself, the universe, your Higher Power. Learn the lessons they have to teach. If you do, you’ll find relief, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

I Don’t Like This Post Either

August 10, 2024 / / 0 Comments

I don’t like this kind of post.

I follow different content providers for different reasons, but my motives are almost always self-focused—I want inspiration, information, and / or entertainment (and there’s nothing wrong with that). So when the people I follow pause their normal content to ask for support, I usually sigh. I shouldn’t, but I do. I’m working on it. These creators provide me with wonderful enrichment for little or no money. Why should I be bothered by them occasionally asking for support to help them continue to give me desirable content?

With full awareness of the irony, I’m hoping you feel the same way. For years, I’ve kept Becoming Yourself completely free with no ads, and I want to continue that way. But I do make my living as a writer. It’s how I pay the bills. If you’d like to support my writing while keeping Becoming Yourself free, here are some simple ways you can help:

1. BUY MY PUBLISHED BOOKS

I write a spooky monster mystery series called MONSTERIOUS. The books are short, can be read in any order, and are great for fans of Goosebumps, Scooby Doo, Stranger Things, and Five Nights at Freddy’s. While targeted for ages 8 to 12, they’re a good fit for anyone who enjoys a fast-paced, spooky thriller with lots of action, humor, and heart. They are available in all formats (paperback, hardcover, audiobook, e book) wherever you buy books. My fifth book, TRAPPED IN THE HORROR DOME, just came out this past Tuesday. For more info or to buy a book from your favorite retailer, click HERE.

2. SHARE MY RECENT POST ON INSTAGRAM AND / OR FACEBOOK

I recently posted a 50 second video of me talking about my latest book release. If you can like, comment, and best of all share this post, it would really help. Here is the INSTAGRAM post (you can easily share it to your story with the paper airplane icon). Here is the FACEBOOK post (you can easily share it to your page with the share button).

3. SIGN UP FOR MY AUTHOR NEWSLETTER (AND GET A FREE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY)

At the bottom of each page of my website MattMcMann.com, you can subscribe to my free monthly newsletter. It has info on my books, my travels, and my author appearances around the country. As a thank you, you’ll receive one of my free spooky short stories.

If you’re still reading this, I’m very grateful. If you do any of the above, especially purchasing my books, I’m incredibly grateful! I’ll be back next week with more personal development content. Thank you so much for helping me take another step toward Becoming Myself.

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