Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 2 of 46)

A Surprising Secret to Increased Joy and Productivity

“See what happens when you tune your pace to the trickle of a stream, or the waft of a lazy breeze.”

chris advansun

This one is tricky for me.

I’m a list person. Few things give me more satisfaction than crossing things off my to-do list. I have a hard time relaxing when there are daily tasks left undone. So I often unconsciously drive myself through each one, trying to grind it out, mark it off and move quickly to the next.

That’s not a fun way to live. It can be productive, for awhile. But that approach often leaves me tense, exhausted and short-tempered. And when I finally do reach that free time at the end of the day, I’m often wired and irritable.

When I first read the above quote, my honest thought was, “That sounds nice, but you won’t get much done that way.”

I think I was wrong.

I’ve been experimenting with this approach. Moving more unhurriedly. Pausing more frequently to gaze out the window, chat with my wife or make an extra cup of tea. In short, taking my time.

It will come as no surprise to learn that I find those days far more relaxing and enjoyable than my striving ones. But I’ve also discovered that I get an amazing amount done. At the end of the day, I look back in astonishment at my productivity, especially because I often feel good versus feeling like a wrung-out sponge. It seems so counterintuitive.

This approach reminds me of my Uncle Fred. He’s a soft-spoken southern gentleman, kindhearted and full of simple wisdom. He talks seldom, but when he does, everyone listens because he only speaks when there’s something worthwhile to say.

My dad used to work construction with Uncle Fred. He told me that Fred was the most deceptively fast worker he ever saw. Whenever he’d see Fred on the construction site, my uncle was never in a hurry, always moving through the job with a casual grace. But at the end of the day, he’d done more work than anyone.

I could conjecture about why this approach to life works. How a gentler pace helps you think more clearly, lessons stress, increases motivation, and aids in connecting with others and with God or your Higher Power, if you have one. But the point is that it works, at least for me.

So I’m trying to make this my new normal. It’s not easy to recode fifty plus years worth of programming, but I’m making slow progress. And the rewards are motivating me to keep going.

How about you? Is your approach to your daily tasks more like a trickling stream or a raging river? Closer to a lazy breeze or a hurricane? Pause often. Take a few deep breaths. Gaze out the window. Play calming music. Imagine a stream or a breeze. You’ll find a more enjoyable and productive life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published Nov 13, 2021.

How to Be Happy

After twenty-six years, I was tired.

Being a professional musician was my dream. My focus. My passion. I’d fought, scratched, and clawed to make a living doing something I craved. Something I believed in. I loved it.

Until I didn’t. The passion faded, and I found myself going through the motions. I still had the skill, but I’d lost the heart. So I made one of the toughest decisions of my life. After thousands of performances, I walked off the stage for the last time.

Being an author was something I’d dreamed about since I was a kid but never pursued. When I chose the music path, I left the writing path behind me. 

But decades later, life led me back to that fork in the road. Walking away from music gave me the opportunity to walk toward writing. Tentatively, fearfully, I took my first halting steps toward my long-delayed author dream. It was hard. It was scary. It was daunting.

And I was alive again. It filled my thoughts, made me bound out of bed, and lit my heart on fire. The passion that once fueled my music career burned bright for my new creative pursuit. I went from a high level in my first career to the bottom rung of my second. And I was happy.

If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.

andrew carnegie

Are you happy? Fulfilled? Do you have passion? Excitement? If not, follow Carnegie’s advice. Set a goal that commands your thoughts. Liberates your energy. Inspires your hopes. If you do, you’ll feel alive again, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

A Coexist Vision of Christmas

It really is beautiful.

The window of our condo in downtown Tempe Arizona looks out over a large hill. In December, the top of the hill is adorned with a giant lit menorah representing Judaism. Beside it is a star being approached by three wise men representing Christianity. Down the street is a picturesque Islamic mosque. As I walked past recently, I heard a man beautifully chanting prayers.

Three faiths side by side. Coexisting. Celebrating the unique and welcome contributions of each. That’s the true spirit of Christmas. A spirit of Love.

I didn’t use to feel this way. For most of my life, I felt the Christian faith I was raised in was the only “right” way to live, the only way to please God, the only way to heaven. I don’t believe that anymore. I believe that God is far too big and wild and mysterious and loving to be boxed into any one perspective, any one faith. We all see different parts of Her / Him / Them.

Every worldview, faith, and perspective has something to offer, something I can learn from. None of us have a stranglehold on Truth. We all grasp parts of it. Many of us grasp the same parts but call them by different names, which ties us together in what theologians call the Wisdom Tradition (or the Perennial Tradition). These are core beliefs at the foundation of most faith traditions—there is a Divine power in the universe. A spark of that Divine lives in all of us. We can choose to connect with that Divine power. Making that choice benefits us and brings coherence to our lives.

I’m reminded of the classic story of three blind men asked to describe an elephant. One felt its side and declared an elephant to be like a rough wall. Another felt its tusk and said an elephant is like a smooth spear. The third felt its tail and insisted an elephant is like a flexible snake. Who was right? Alone, all of them and none of them. Together, they painted a more complete picture. 

Whatever holidays you celebrate, do so with an open mind and an open heart. Recognize the similarities in those around you. Appreciate their differences. Focus on the Love that is the essence of true faith. Coexist. If you do, you’ll see your own worldview mature and expand, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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