Developing a Better You

Tag: personal growth (Page 16 of 62)

The Healing Power of Vulnerability

Admitting weakness is hard for me.

I prefer to share how the personal development practices I’ve learned help me lead a more joyful, peaceful, and meaningful life. But being open about my recent struggles in my last post brought relief. The act of sharing honestly, of being vulnerable, eased some of the weight I’d been carrying. And rather than judgement, I received a flood of support, understanding, prayers, and encouragement from so many of you. I was very touched and felt carried.

My family is settling in to the new normal of life without a loved one. My lingering physical illness is mostly gone. I’ve checked some big things off my to do list in advance of my books being released. The author part of my identity has shrunk into a healthier balance.

This experience reinforced a lesson I’ve learned again and again—being appropriately vulnerable with others about my struggles brings healing. Not only do I personally benefit from the love and support, but the people around me feel less alone in their own pain. 

So when the hard times come, drop your guard. Be honest. Let people in. Share your struggles. Embrace vulnerability. If you do, you’ll feel the weight begin to ease, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

When the Inspiration Stops

This is not a fun season. 

Last minute travel due to an unexpected family emergency. Lingering illness. Edit deadlines. Anxiety over the approaching release of my debut novels. These things have left me feeling flat, empty, and without much to say. 

Normally the words flow, and I have a clear idea of what I want to share here, something I hope will help you on your personal development journey. Lately… not so much. 

A hard reality of life is that sometimes the inspiration stops. Sometimes the familiar path leads to a broken bridge, and we have to find another way across. For me right now, that’s about writing. For you, it may be about your job or a relationship or your health or a loss of some kind. 

If you’re in that place, know that you’re not alone. Be kind to yourself. Breathe. Rest. Give yourself grace. Do something that fills your emotional tank. Complete one small task. Trust that eventually the clouds will lift, and the stream will flow again. If you do, you’ll soon feel hope stirring, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

Photo by Ruben Mishchuk on Unsplash

Creating Needed Space in Relationships

I was an idiot.

When I was younger, I had an arrogance cloaked in humility, a certainty shrouded in religiosity. I was so sure that I knew the “right” ways to live, think, act, and speak that I wanted others to mirror them. I placed unreasonable expectations on people which caused tension. Rather than allowing them to be the amazing, unique people they were, I thought they should be more like me. 

Author and teacher Henri Nouwen described the need for space in relationships this way:

A mature human intimacy requires a deep and profound respect for the free and empty space that needs to exist within and between partners and that asks for a continuous mutual protection and nurture. Only in this way can a relationship be lasting, precisely because mutual love is experienced as a participation in a greater and earlier love to which it points. In this way intimacy can be rich and fruitful, since it has been given carefully protected space in which to grow. This relationship no longer is a fearful clinging to each other but a free dance, allowing space in which we can move forward and backward, form constantly new patterns, and see each other as always new.

Henri nouwen, you are the beloved

As I matured over time, I realized how misguided I’d been, and that a root of my unhealthy expectations was my unrecognized fear that if they were different and “right,” then I must be “wrong.” When I backed off and gave people in my life the space they needed to be themselves, the tension drained from our relationships. 

How are your relationships? Look honestly. Initiate real conversations. Share vulnerably. Apologize for unfair expectations. Cultivate healthy space for people to be fully themselves and to allow your relationships to grow. If you do, you’ll enjoy deeper connections, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books. Featured in the February 20, 2023 Daily Meditation from The Henri Nouwen Society. 

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2024 Becoming Yourself

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑