We were sitting in my car when a new friend told me he was gay. That was almost twenty years ago in a small, conservative town. In general, it was a time and place that viewed homosexuality negatively.
I thanked him for his vulnerability and trust. We started hanging out more often. My wife and I had him and his partner over for dinner. We played board games. Our young kids started calling them both “uncle.”
The time we spent together increased my empathy and reminded me of an important truth – we’re all just people. Despite our wide variety of differences, in the end we all have value and worth, hopes and dreams, problems and struggles.
The root of so many of the divisive issues in our society today seems to come from “othering.” People see other races, religions, sexual orientations, political parties, economic classes, or gender identities and focus on the differences instead of the common humanity. It’s so easy to suffer from an “empathy gap.”
So how can people bridge that gap? While nothing compares to the firsthand experience of sharing life with someone, books can serve as incredible mirrors and windows. They can help us find ourselves reflected on the page and also allow us to see into the lives of others who have different life experiences. Reading can be a wonderful way to gain the empathy that doesn’t come from a simple intellectual acknowledgement of another person’s worth or struggles.
As an aspiring children’s author, I read a lot of wonderful books targeted at younger readers. Here are three highly recommend books that helped to increase my empathy (you can watch my YouTube recommendation video of them here or at the end of this post):
1. New Kid by Jerry Craft
This is a graphic novel about Jordan, a black seventh-grade student who transfers to a predominately white school. Racial equality and the Black Lives Matter movement are among today’s most important and dominate social issues. With New Kid, Jerry Craft does a masterful job of putting a relatable face and lovable heart to this topic.
You can buy New Kid here.*
2. El Deafo by Cece Bell
Also a graphic novel, this is a narrative memoire of author Cece Bell’s real-life childhood experiences with hearing loss. Her words, actions, thoughts, and feelings are humorously and painfully authentic. You really feel like you’re inside Cece’s head and heart as she navigates the challenges of being nearly deaf in a hearing world.
You can buy El Deafo here.*
3. George by Alex Gino
This is a story about a transgender girl struggling to understand and share her identity. Alex Gino paints a powerful, relatable, intimate portrait of George, a student who comes to embrace her true self and find her voice. It’s honest, engaging, and hopeful. I read it in one sitting. This is an important book that shines light on an important topic in an easily digestible way.
You can buy George here.*
We live in a fractured world. Each of us actively taking steps to bridge our natural empathy gaps will foster unity and healing. Read these entertaining and important books or others like them. Use them as tools to discuss these topics with your kids or others in your life. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
* Using the Bookshop.org affiliate links provided will support independent bookstores and provide me with a small commission all at NO additional charge to you.
I agree that we all could use more empathy. That we should be better at embracing others that are different than we are, accepting others for who they are. I do question how to effectively embrace the challenge of showing empathy and inclusion for those with traits that are not in alignment with what I believe biblically. How to be an example of acceptance for others “life choices”, and still teach my grandkids what we believe about these things, all without judgement!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful, honest comment, Tina. I so agree that it is not my place to judge anyone else. Just speaking for myself, I don’t consider any of the main topics of these books to be about life choices. Regardless, I try to focus on the Bible’s first and highest commandment: love – love God with all my heart and love my neighbor as myself. If I give that love to others no matter our differences, and teach my children to do the same, I think I’m well on my way to bridging my empathy gaps and helping to make the world a better place. Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!