I had an impromptu conversation with a good friend a while ago. She’s in her thirties, highly intelligent and inquisitive about life. She grew up going to church but stopped after high school. Since then, by her own admission, she hadn’t thought much about God until recently. She said she had a question for me. It went something like this:
“When I’m in nature, I feel like there’s something else out there with me. It’s like I’m sensing something bigger than myself but I don’t know what it is. I’m not sure if I think that’s God or something else. How can I tell?”
She knew that I believed in God and that I enjoyed wrestling with philosophical, theological, and intellectual questions. Over the years, I’ve had these kinds of discussions with many people from all across the theological belief spectrum. What I shared with her seemed to really help so I decided to pass it on here for two reasons. First, if you have the same question, I hope it helps you too. Second, I believe that the method I used to respond to her can be applied to almost any issue of belief we may face.
A clarification before going any further. The point of this post is not to try to prove the existence of God or to convince anyone to believe like I do. I consider myself a “faith and reason” person, meaning that I believe in God because of some very personal, subjective experiences I’ve had and also because of some intellectual reasons that I find compelling. But sharing those is not my goal here. I just want to give one of many potential frameworks that you could use to address the God question if you are like my friend.
Sometimes when we’re wrestling with what we believe about something, having someone else ask us specific questions about that topic can help clarify our thinking. So I asked her a series of questions:
1. Do you think what you’re sensing is a mindless natural force like, for example, electricity? Or do you think it has a consciousness and is self-aware? (In her case, she thought what she sensed had a consciousness.)
2. Do you think what you’re sensing is higher, bigger, more advanced or more powerful than you? (She did.)
3. Do you think what you’re sensing is a creative force that has something to do with the existence of the world? Of us? (She did.)
4. Do you think what you’re sensing is a good, positive, loving force or a bad, negative, malicious one? (She thought it was good and loving.)
5. Do you think what you’re sensing is aware of you and wanting to connect with you somehow? (She did.)
On the basis of her responses to those questions, I said something like this:
“If I understand you correctly, you believe that what you’re sensing has a consciousness, is higher than you, is creative, is loving, and wants to connect with you. What you’re describing sounds a lot like what I think of as God. I don’t care what you call it. If that term has negative baggage for you, call it whatever you want. But to me it seems like you believe in God.”
You may read those questions and have different answers than my friend did, which lead you to a different conclusion. Either way, I think the “is there a God” question is an important one for each of us to answer one way or the other. Why? Because it has pretty big implications on your worldview, the way you see life and your place in it. And your worldview has a huge impact on your choices and actions, on how you live and who you become.
As you continue on the journey to a better you, I encourage you to answer these questions for yourself. Use this query technique to clarify your thinking in other areas as well. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
A long time ago I was making small talk with someone when he started talking about extra-marital affairs. I had asked him why he changed jobs. He said he left his old career because cheating on your spouse was rampant in that industry. To get away from that environment, he moved to a more family-oriented occupation. I admired him for that. A year after our conversation he had an affair with someone at his new job.
Please hear me clearly, I am not throwing stones at this guy. I know myself well enough to remember how I’ve failed in various ways in the past and how vulnerable I am to failing again in the future. We all have our issues. We’ve all fallen short of the person we want to be, many times. I use that story to remind me that if I want to become my best self, I have to own my own problems vs. blaming other people or my circumstances for my shortcomings.
Here’s the difficult truth I have to embrace – the biggest problem I have in becoming the person I want to be is ME. Not my job. Not my spouse. Not how much money I have. Not my kids. Not my circumstance. It’s me. My attitude. My choices. My perspective. My thoughts. My actions. Me. And, if you’re like me, I’m guessing your biggest problem is you.
So be honest with yourself. Stop blaming external things. Own your own issues. Define your goals. Articulate your dreams. Make a plan. Take the next step. Get some help. Turn to friends, faith, family, experts, whomever and whatever you can for guidance and support. It’s not easy but it’s so worth it. You can do this! And if you do, you’ll take a giant leap toward Becoming Yourself.
I’m a Mac fan but don’t actually know much about computers. If my laptop can quickly and reliably let me email, do word processing and get me to Netflix, I’m pretty much good to go. I don’t really care about the tech jargon.
I think we’re a lot like computers. We all have a variety of surface level “applications” to our lives. Like software programs, these are the things that we and others can easily see – our careers, accomplishments, talents, relationships, etc. An engineer. A college graduate. An artist. A parent. A spouse.
What if instead we based our identity on our Operating System? On our True Self, who we are deep inside, that part of us that doesn’t change no matter what label we wear? For me, that’s a person created, known and loved by God. That identity is secure. It provides a strong foundation, giving me a sense of assurance and peace that, no matter what changes life throws my way, I know who I am.
What about you? Maybe God isn’t your thing. That’s okay. This question of true identity is the same for all of us. When you dig deeper, beneath the various roles you play, what do you find? What’s your unchanging OS, your True Self, that foundational identity you can always depend on? Find that and you’re on your way to Becoming Yourself.