An Overlooked Key to Personal Growth: Find Your Future in Your Past

My parents’ house

It started as a quick run to the drug store. I was visiting my parents in the small Michigan town where I grew up. The drive to Rite Aid took me past an old cemetery where I used ride my bike as a kid. Maybe it was just nostalgia, but I spontaneously decided to pull in.

I parked my dad’s van and started walking around the cemetery grounds. Stood at my grandparents’ grave marker. Lingered beneath the towering statue of Jesus that I used to gaze at in wonder. Strolled along the river where my best friend and I went canoeing. Wandered by the pond where my mom took me and my sisters to feed the ducks.

Where I lived until age nine

Back in the van, I continued on until I found myself going by the house where I lived until age nine. I pulled over to the side of the road and was surprised how little it had changed. I remembered playing Kick the Can in the front yard with the neighborhood kids. The scratchy red couch in the living room. Listening to Bay City Rollers records in my sisters’ bedroom.

The site of my kindergarten playground

My final stop was my old elementary school. I got out and walked the empty  playground. Remembered being bullied by some older kids. Falling off the swing set and breaking my nose. My first stolen kiss behind the blackboard.

The grave marker of my grandparents Earl and Virginia McMann

I pulled back onto the road thinking about growing up in this town. How it shaped me. How my experiences here impacted who I am. It reminded me of a simple but profound truth – to get where I want to go, I have to remember where I’ve been. 

My childhood dog Skipper, painted by my mom

As someone interested in personal development, I often think about who I want to become. I look in the mirror to assess where I’m at and devise plans to reach my goals. Those are good and necessary aspects of personal growth, but if I only focus on the present (who I am) and the future (who I want to become), then I’m missing a step. To successfully move toward a better version of myself, I also need to remember the past (who I was). Where I’ve been. What I’ve experienced. My triumphs and tragedies. The breakthroughs and heartbreaks. The joys I wish I could relive and the pain I’d pay dearly to forget.

This process of looking back is critical because it helps me see why I am the way I am. It shows me which aspects of myself I need to focus on. What struggles and pitfalls might trip me up. Sorting through what I carry with me from my past shines a clarifying light on the obstacles that I need to overcome in my present. Things I need to address if I’m to become who I want to be in my future.

Me with my sisters Shannon and Holli in 1972

So take the time to look back. Wander the town where you grew up. Flip through childhood photos or your high school yearbook. Read old letters or journal entries. Spend time with family and friends who influenced your earlier stages. Reflect on who you were then and how the experiences you had impact who you are now. Let that knowledge light the path that leads to who you want to be. If you do, you’ll take another great step toward Becoming Yourself.